True Intention

Ch 25- Matching tattoos are a commitment...

Soren POV

I was determined that we get the tattoos we'd designed for each other, and the matching one I'd made, before Naomi had too much time to think about it.

I had this weird feeling that she would change her mind before we got then on our bodies if I didn't get it done fast. She'd get stuck in her head again and spiral into thinking it was too much, and I needed this. I needed to at least claim her as my girlfriend, and soon. Maybe it sounds like I'm in a rush to be physical, but it's not even that. I just don't like subsisting in this nebulous in-between status. More than friends but undefined.

Maybe Nao isn't the only one lacking confidence. Because I seriously felt like I was holding on to the side of a building with one hand hoping she grabbed on and pulled me to safety, emotionally.

I called my trusted tattoo shop, The Boxing Tiger Tattoo Studio, to make an appointment, hoping like, noon on Wednesday was still relatively open. Any of their artists were fully capable. Thankfully, two of their three artists were open for the size we needed on the larger tattoos. The lotus was only going to take maybe an hour, if that, and wasn't very big. I wanted her phoenix and my sword dragon on the right side of our ribcage, and the lotus on our right inner forearms. I doubted she would protest, given her current placement, though I realized she'd probably want more to balance them on the left.

I was happy to oblige if she wanted more designs.

In fact, my brain was already overflowing with ideas and places that said designs would look perfect on Nao's pale skin.

Classes were canceled Wednesday for some administrative function, so we had basically a whole day of tattooing ahead. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. We might need additional sessions if we decided to add color, but for now they were simple black line art. It meant a lot less time sitting in the chair, of course. Filling is what would make the completion time exponentially longer, especially on the stretchier skin of the torso. I bubbled with excitement as I told Nao, who was quiet.

Not in a bad way, just contemplative. I hoped she wasn't reconsidering. We went to sleep after I properly rewarded her for her gift with at least three orgasms.

I loved pleasuring her. I felt so accomplished, honestly. She'd had such a hard time of it and to see her let go, her cheeks flushed with passion and completely relaxed afterward were like a gift. For both of us, really. Only I could make her feel like that, and the sensation was euphoric. With me she felt happy and content. As it should be.

Don't ask me why I was keeping things to oral for now. I just had this feeling, I needed more commitment from her first.

Crazy right?

It's more commonly the girl that wants a guy to commit more before giving in. I know she wants me, and I know her feelings run deep. I know she's not going anywhere.

Probably? See that feeling of doubt right there.

My therapist, recommended by Leslie (since me and my girl seeing the same therapist is a heavy no-no), told me it was important that I allow myself to have faith in Nao's healing process. And her. To be okay with whatever decision she made, and know she would still want me in her life even if not romantically. I knew he was right. It's what I wanted too. I just really wanted more, and I knew she was it for me.

There was no way that anyone else could complete my heart the way she did, even if we split. I could love, yes, as the human heart has no actual limit on its capacity to do so, it just could never be to quite the same degree. I would never want to make a partner feel second-best to a memory, either. Experiencing these doubts and worries... it would be worse for anyone that tried to take Nai's place in my heart. For certain they'd always sense that I wasn't completely all in.

Nao remained quiet, though not silent, all through Tuesday. She insisted that I allow her to worship my body that night. I tried to reciprocate and she shyly declined, saying it was about me, not her. I'd held her especially close as we slept. She was such a special person. Thanksgiving was the week after next. Two months, that's how long I'd known this perfect girl, and she had changed my life. I would go wherever she went, in whatever capacity she would have me. I just had to.

I could be celibate if she just wanted to be friends, right?

Yeah, right.

Even I don't believe that. I would always want her. Then again, I'm not sure if I ended up single that I could bring myself to engage in physical gratification without a connection, either. One-night stands and all that s**t. That wasn't who I was. I could love any gender, if I was honest, but I had to love and connect to the individual. Probably why the whole thing with Janet had been especially traumatic. She disgusted me as a person.

I refocused on the woman I wanted with every fiber of my being.

We held hands as we entered the tattoo parlor, with its classic black and white tiled floor. We got our consent forms signed off and waited to be called into our chairs. We were sat next to each other, and when asked where we were putting things after submitting our designs, Nao let me have my way on placement. The artist grinned and gave us a look, like matching, hmmm? But we both ignored it. They did the lotus piece in about half an hour. We'd made sure to grab burgers on our way here, and had bottled water to tide us over.

If you've ever gotten a tattoo and loved it, you'll know how lulling the sound of the tattoo guns can be.

We grinned as we showed our forearms to each other and took a quick break. I cannot describe how happy I was to have that tattoo on her.

The male artist from earlier nodded at me in understanding.

Nao had worn these dead sexy low-rise black skinny jeans with rips, studs, and straps. Her black converse with purple accents had made an appearance, along with a black and purple striped long-sleeved hooded henley. She'd taken it off to reveal a cropped black cami for the tattooing, along with her black leather moto jacket. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head secured with black chopsticks, and she wore just black eyeliner, mascara and chapstick. She looked f*****g hot.

And he was respectfully appreciating.

As we settled in on our left sides, I was glad I was facing her so I could watch. I wasn't that thrilled that another dude was touching her in all honesty, but I knew these guys touched all kinds of people, and it wasn't because they were feeling romantic or s****l. Kind of like massage therapists and s**t. They had to put their hands on people for work. I almost fell asleep as the buzzing of the tattoo guns continued for hours. They don't hurt really, not for me. It's only when the vibration gets near certain more sensitive nerve or bone areas that it's uncomfortable.

I was watching closely to make sure Nao was okay. She'd mentioned she'd had female artists before, so I was hoping a male one wasn't making her feel some kinda way. They were chatting comfortably, but the man made sure to make eye contact and nod to me every so often.

God, was I that obvious?

Unable to sigh (because that totally would have messed with the art currently being applied to my ribs), I flopped my head a little.

"You okay there, bud?" My artist asked, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. "Your girl's alright. We aren't interested, or anything."

"Ah, no, it's fine. I know that. I just... We're not official yet, you know?" I said lowly. His eyebrows jumped to his hairline, eyes darting from me to my girl in surprise.

"Damn son, and you're getting matching tats?" He asked, his tone rife with disbelief, and I nodded. "Well, if she's here and got it done, I'd say you're official whether the words came out or not." He grinned cheekily. "So don't worry. She knows she's yours, bud."

"I hope so." I huffed.

Three hours in, we decided to break for some food. They said it was cool if we ordered something and ate it right there. I ordered from the local Japanese restaurant (how could I not?). I ordered two of their "Hell Ramen" and got a side of Korean Kimchi, with two matcha milk teas. It only took them fifteen minutes to deliver. We both tore through the spicy food with gusto, making the artists laugh over their burgers.

After using the restroom, we both got settled in for another few hours. These guys were amazing. They managed to get all of the line work done by eight PM. A few walk-ins had come in, seeing the remaining artist up until they officially closed at six PM, but it had been a light day for them, so they were cool working over when I offered to pay extra.

We examined the handiwork with wonder. We both teared up, seeing our art on each other's bodies. It was very emotional. The matching one had not been a piece that I'd sunk a lot of time into, even if it was beautiful. These larger pieces held a lot more meaning and commitment. We left, holding hands. My artist had patted me on the shoulder and wished me luck. Nao had looked at him curiously.

We went home, and respectively got ready for bed. I went to her bedroom and saw she was still wearing the cropped black cami, but with her Juicy shorts to give the tattoo plenty of breathing room. She was standing and looking at my painting of her, which now hung on her wall over her dresser. I walked over and kissed her shoulder, then lightly ran my hand over the cellophane covering her fresh ink. She shuddered.

"It looks perfect, just like I knew it would." I whispered, my chin resting on her shoulder as I stood behind her. I just rested against her, wallowing in my own contentment as I held her, my long fingers rubbing circles on her exposed hips.

"Soren." She said seriously, turning to face me, her hand coming up to rest on my right cheek. The sight of the lotus made me feel immediately aroused. Damn. Focus, Ren, she's being serious. "This means I accept you. All of you. You know that, right?"

Holy s**t, what?

"You... are mine? My girl? My girlfriend? Officially?" I rambled out, and she smiled, then nodded. "Words please, babe." I said breathlessly. Was this real?

"I'm your girl, Ren. What's my reward, handsome?" She said huskily as she stared into my eyes.

Oh wow. Now I was hella nervous.

This was so important.

I could not mess it up.