True Intention

Ch 8- All that I imagined...

Soren POV

This was the moment of truth, I felt it. Do or die. Win or lose. I got her to open up or spend a whole lot longer trying to crack her defensive shell, if at all. Heidi had said it was a good time, that Nao had let them in, and they'd primed her to speak with me. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed. Ooookayyyy. Whole new issue. The attraction I feel for Nao is just beyond powerful. Not sure this is actually a safe space. She patted the bed next to her and smiled.

Oh nope. Not safe. I'm a f*****g wolf in sheep's clothing. Gahhh.

"Come sit, Soren." She said shyly. Obviously, she doesn't remember I'm a man right now. There's just no way she does because she would not be inviting me to sit on her bed. But I went anyway. Even with all the alarm bells. I had to give her my full attention or all of this was completely pointless. I set down her bag at the end of the bed and sat as close to her as I thought might be reasonable. She did arch a brow, but ignored the fact that my leg was touching her feet. My face was mere inches from hers as I looked into her eyes.

Look, I can't help myself and she invited me, okay? I get a pass.

"Call me Ren, please, Nao?" I begged, holding my breath as I waited for her to reply.

"Sure, okay... Ren." As she tested it out, I suddenly wanted to hear her saying it as I did naughty things to her. Maybe screaming it, even. Damn. Okay, focus Ren. "Can you maybe, move a few inches back? It's a little awkward and there is a lot I need to tell you. I'd rather it come from me than you coming across stuff in your background checks." I sighed. Of course the girls told her about that. Must mean there's gonna be s**t I need to look up, which distracted me from her sexiness for a minute.

Maybe thirty seconds. Or less, and I was ready to push her down and kiss her pouty, full lips.

"They already outed me, huh?" I sulked as I scooted back, but just two inches. That's all I could manage when I wanted her in my damn lap, wrapped around me. She laughed, a sound that delighted my soul, but also more than a little bit like she wasn't used to laughing much at all.

"Yeah, but that's okay. I know you just do what you think is right. The information is out there, after all." She said glumly, looking sad. "I think the worst part about going through s**t like I did is that even the truth doesn't save you. People believe what they want to." She proceeded to tell me everything, and let's just say, I was beyond pissed. Like, rage-filled and livid. Someone had assaulted her, got off with volunteer work and was allowed to return to the same school? I would have expected that at the least, they'd transfer him for her safety. Seems like common sense. The excuse that it didn't happen on school property didn't sit well with me.

Far too often, s****l assault victims are still made to feel guilty, like they were somehow the bad ones when they never asked to be brutalized in the first place. Male, female, it's all the same. Someone took advantage or forced you into a vulnerable position and violated your body, whether a little or a lot. It's wrong to victim shame. It's hard enough just trying to get through the trauma, let alone have people act like you deserved it.

"What is his name, Nao?" I bit out at the end of her story. She was probably confused because she'd been focused on that Carla b***h, but I was focused on the male (sorry, not calling him a man, you cannot make me) that truly started the bullshit. There was no way he was getting away with this s**t, and I didn't care if it was nearly ten years ago, I was destroying him. He ruined my girl's life because he was a sick motherfucker, and I'd bet my favorite cologne that he'd done worse if he'd gotten away with such a thing with a mere slap on the wrist.

"Who?" She questioned, brows drawing together.

"Your assaulter. His name, Nao." I ground out. My tone made it clear I was going to avenge her in any way I saw fit. She sighed.

"Robert Smithley." She expelled. I immediately pulled up my phone and sent a quick email. His and Carla's files would be in my email by morning. In fact, since she'd told me her story, Naomi's file would too, I thought, as I sent off one more email. "What are you going to do?" She asked, looking a little nervous.

"I haven't decided yet, since it would be considered illegal for me to just, castrate him, you know?" I said, completely serious. I have very strong feelings about what should be done to s****l predators. Easier for men than women though, still not fully sure what to do there. We were silent for a moment, her hands folding together nervously in her lap. "So... that means you're probably afraid of being touched, right?" I asked. Her eyes met mine, and she nodded, biting her lip.

"I thought I was okay, since I went to therapy, you know? I learned martial arts too, as a preventative measure. I've even fought off other attackers. I felt okay. But when the guys came home the other night, I wanted to escape, even if I knew instinctively they wouldn't hurt me, just like I know you wouldn't." She sighed, clearly frustrated. "Although, my therapist did want me to start socializing, and I never really did. There was nobody I felt I could trust, not there." I really wanted to pursue the other attackers too, but hopefully she'd share the details later. This one stupid guy had created an open invitation to anyone else with bad intentions.

It was sickening, and made me wonder what the deal was with her parents.

"How about this? You practice with me. The girls were okay right?" She nodded a yes. "Not that I want you to be comfortable with a bunch of guys touching you, trust me, I don't. But you have to be able to handle basic stuff, right?" She nodded again, worrying her lower lip quite distractingly with her perfect teeth. "So, let's practice. What do you think?" There was so much riding on her answer, I wasn't sure I could handle the pressure.

It was pretty clear there was a lot of... tension between us. The good kind. The kind I would happily explore when she gave me the go-ahead.

"The thing is..." She trailed off, looking away. s**t, no. I need this, too. Like, need it more than breathing. Her eyes returned to mine. "I'm not sure if I can stop myself from feeling more than I should. You have already done more for me in forty-eight hours than anyone else, and I'm worried I'll develop feelings beyond friendship if I touch you too." She blushed charmingly. Like, if she was a witch, I was happily under her spell, good or evil. "Maybe even if I don't." She whispered huskily. I raised a brow at her, and she lightly smacked my arm. "Come on, you know you're hot already. You don't need me to remind you." I shrugged.

"To be honest, I might have the same issue, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. No, I know I'm already halfway there. Who knows, maybe we'll feel the same and it will all work out, right? And if not, we figure that out too. One thing I will promise here and now, is that even if you break my heart, I'll never turn my back on you, okay?" I said earnestly. It was true.

Yeah, I was intent on making her mine, and felt like it was possible, but if she really went her own way, as hard as it would be, I'd always be there for her as a friend. No matte what. It would absolutely suck and hurt like a motherfucker, but I knew I was capable of pulling it off. I'd sacrifice almost anything for her, and I knew it.

"Then there's one more thing I need to show you, first." She said cautiously. I nodded and she picked up a contact case from her nightstand. She removed her contacts, and if I was not already in love with her, her natural eyes would have been the final nail in the coffin. One gold and one amethyst crystalline orb stared back at me. Unable to stop my hand at all, it totally decided, all on its own, mind you, to cup her cheek and stroke it gently. And then, strangely enough, my body suddenly was leaning in and kissing her delicately, chastely on the lips. Her lip piercings were f*****g sexy too.

Damn. I mean, go body! She looked surprised, but not upset. A little thunderstruck, actually. Good, right? I didn't scare her at least?

"Your eyes are the most beautiful I've ever seen." I said breathlessly. She looked down, tears falling. Was I the onyl one to truly compliment them? That can't be right. On a whim, I took down her messy bun as well. Fuuuuck. "They were jealous, weren't they? They said all kinds of awful things to you because this right here, there is nobody to me, that can compete." I lifted my other hand, this time, it absolutely had my permission, and cupped her face in both of my hands, my thumbs wiping her tears away softly. Her eyes lifted to mine. "Listen, right now you are super vulnerable, so I'm not going to push for what I really want, but I'm going to tell you. I like you, a lot. And eventually, I plan to ask you to be mine. I'm probably getting way ahead of myself, hmm?" She nodded slightly with a watery giggle that shouldn't have made me feel as good as it did. "But you need to know. Me and my friends? We're your people. I'm in your court for the rest of my life, however this all goes. But my first promise to you? We, your people, are gonna help you heal for once and for all, okay?"

"Okay, Ren. Can I... have a hug, maybe?" She asked shyly, blushing a deep rosy hue. As if she ever had to even ask! I could never deny her, even if it hurt my heart one day.

I'm not sure she really understands yet how deeply I'm already in my feels for her. It's not logical, and yet I already knew there would never be another woman I would love as much as I loved her. Maybe I didn't know her that well yet. It's true, but every cell in my body told me she was my soul mate. Someone I could never let go of, and would always want in my life.

"Nao baby, you can have whatever you want from me, anytime." I said tenderly, pulling her in close and holding her tight, breathing her in. It felt like home, felt so right. This was going to be a massive challenge, but I would not break my promise. Never.

"Thank you for existing, Ren." She whispered, and my heart nearly exploded.