Tangled In Blue

Food For Thought

BLUE’S POV

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake it off.

The sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by feelings of intense fear and apprehension and accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, and trembling.

That’s exactly how wiki explained it and that’s exactly how I feel.

The panic attacks kept coming-harder and stronger than before. I tried breathing technics my therapist had taught me but it was a futile effort. I even tried making out with Levi as a distraction but it seemed to worsen the situation.

He tried all he could to make me calm down but seeing his naked chest just fueled the trauma. I pushed him away and burst into hysterical tears. He didn’t know what to do and my heart went out to him as I fought back the feelings of delirium that were bubbling to the surface again.

“You can’t see me like this...Just go!” I cried out before leaped off the bed, dashed into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking myself inside.

’Blue babe-please don’t shut me out?” his anxious voice rang out from the bedroom, the double meaning not lost on me. “Let me help you, babe? Please open the door Blue? I can’t leave you like this...”

I sat on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, feeling small and vulnerable once more. I wished-unashamedly and with my whole heart-that it was Corbyn standing behind that door and not Levi. I craved for his touch, for his soft, soothing voice that could calm a storm. I wanted-no-I needed Corbyn. I needed him so badly...

As if he read my mind I heard Levi talking to Corbyn on the phone.

Clever boy... I knew there was a reason I liked him.

I caught snatches of the conversation but the bottom line was, my sweet innocent was on his way. He was one person I knew I could always rely on. That’s just the way he was wired-he had a compassionate heart and would always go out of his way for the people he cares about. Ergo, he cares about me... That almost brought a smile to my face in my frazzled state.

“Blue?” Levi leaned on the door. “I’m gonna head out, Corbyn is here now okay? Call me? I need to know you’re okay...please babe?”

I let out a shaky, “Okay...”

Then I could make out voices in my room. Corbyn was finally here... Can you hear my sigh of relief?

I heard a car driving off and then the front door opening and closing. But it was silent after that.

Where was Corbyn?

While I waited for Corbyn to make an appearance, I decided to take a nice warm bath and relax for a while. The thought of a hot bath made my muscles quake with anticipation. I unlocked the door as I ran the water and soaked my tired body until I felt the tension lifting off.

I closed my eyes and sighed as I rested my head back. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up later, I was laying in bed, tucked warmly under the covers. and you know what the best part was? Corbyn was lying right next to me-in the same bed, breathing the same air.

Please don’t judge me, I’m going through a really, really difficult time right now...

Anyway, let’s get back to the part where Corbyn’s handsome, sharp, angular face is a breath away from mine and I just have to turn slightly and my lips will be all over his totally kissable ones... I had to bite down on my lip to keep myself from giving in to the temptation.

Bad, bad Blue...

But what’s a girl to do?

Even though he was asleep, he still looked dangerously sexy, his dark hair tousled and his heavy, clean-cut jaw shaded by several days of growth. Thick dark lashes fanned his face and his muscular chest glistened in the flickering moonlight. The warmth of his chest was like a magnet and before I could stop myself I was tracing those enviable pecs and abs.

“Don’t start things you can’t finish Laura-Jane...” he warned in a husky voice. He sounded so sexy I wanted to jump him there and then.

I quickly withdrew my hand and we lapsed into silence before he spoke first.

“Hungry?”

Oh, you have no idea Corbyn Coleman...

“Whatcha got?”

“Food,” he said as he threw his legs over the bed. “Which you’re going to eat.” He slipped on his t-shirt and held out his hand to me. “C’mon.”

“You do realize its almost midnight?” I stared pointedly at the clock on the microwave.

“Yeah, and what’s your point exactly?” He asked as he slid my plate in front of me before hopping on his chair.

“This is really good...” I said as I sunk my teeth into the roasted chicken sandwich. “Someone was paying attention to Mommy.”

“It was actually my Dad that taught me. My mom can’t cook to save her life.”

“But she’s a neurologist. Saving lives is what she does best, “I grinned as I stabbed my fork into the fries.

“I guess...” He placed his hands on his knees and studied me intently. “Are you feeling any better?”

“You’re here...It comes with the territory..” My gaze dropped to my plate. “You always make me feel better without even trying Corbyn.” I admitted softly.

“Then I’m glad to hear that Blue.” He covered my hand with his and gave it a little squeeze.

At that moment I lost all self-control and lunged at him, pulling him closer until my lips were firmly pressed against his. Before I knew it his hands were under my thighs and he was lifting me up and placing me on the counter. I suddenly realized I was scantily clad in a night-shirt and Corbyn had seen me naked...again.

But this, combined with the sensation of his taut body pressing against me, acted on me like a powerful aphrodisiac. Desire surged through me, heating my blood, sending it singing through my veins, forcing my hands to pull him closer.

His lips covered mine, with a demanding insistence that stunned me into immobility. I felt his hands stroke soothingly up and down my spine and shoulders, while his lips moved on mine with inflaming expertise. I taught him well, don’t you think?

Dizzily, I slid my hands up his chest, trying to cling for support to the very object that was destroying my balance. This innocent action triggered an instant reaction from Corbyn. His arms tightened around me and he deepened the kiss, his lips moving on mine with hungry ardor, insistently shaping and fitting his lips to my own. He groaned as I molded my body against his, and his lips synced with mine, sliding insistently back and forth, urging mine to part; the moment they did, his tongue slid between them, plunging into the soft recesses of my mouth.

Suddenly he tore his mouth free and let go of me so abruptly that he staggered back a step; then he drew a long, audible breath, holding it for an abnormally long time.

"What's wrong?"

“I can’t do this...” He gave me one last look before he left me, stunned on the kitchen counter.

The next thing I heard was his car driving off into the night.