The Stinking Old Ninth (A Tale Of The Coal Capital)

Chapter Four

Chapter Four – Refuse ToRepent

** Si bu gai hui**

“Comrades,” The school principal addressed us as soon as hestepped on to the platform. He was a big man and his voice wasresonant. “Comrades, as human beings it is inevitable for us tomake mistakes. We are not afraid of making mistakes. What we areafraid of is when the mistake maker refuses to admit his or hermistake. White Swan is such a person. She has offended the degreefrom the Education Commission. But she refuses to admit hermistake. She thinks that we don’t know what she has done and evenif did, she thinks we have no evidence and so we can do nothingabout her. Actually, we know everything and have got the mostconvincing evidence. With this evidence, we can immediately punishher. We could immediately expel her from the school. But we want tosave her, and we hope that she confesses. We don’t want to lose oneof our sisters. Comrades, it is time for you to helpher.”

The students’enthusiasm was brought into play at once. They raised their handsone after another and strived to be the first to speak.

“What does the decree from the education commission say?” amale student who got permission to speak first asked.

“No love affairs in schools,” White Swan answeredcalmly.

“Have you violated the decree from the EducationCommission?”

“No, I haven’t,” White Swan said, still calmly. She didn’tknow the fact that the school authority had known everything we didand cheated me of my confession as the most convincingevidence.

“What have you done with Soapy?”

“He is my classmate. We haven’t done anythingimproper.”

“Nothing improper?” The student asked with a tune of satire.“Then why did you go home?”

“That’s because my mother was sick.”

“I don’t think your mother was sick. Perhaps it was you thatwas sick. Is that true?”

White Swanraised her head to look at her quizzer suspiciously.

“You got a stomach trouble, didn’t you?” he asked.

White Swanbecame more suspicious.

“Your stomach was strangely welling up, wasn’t it?”

“You stole my letter to Soapy!” White Swan cried.

“How do you know that we stole your letter?” Hot Peppershouted at White Swan. But White Swan was not a coward like me. Sheprotested calmly,

“That was the secret I wrote to Soapy. If you hadn’t stolen itto read it, how could you know that fact?”

“Soapy confessed to everything you did! That’s how weknow.”

White Swangave me a look. I lowered my head. Then she said, “Soapy is assimple as a child. You must have intimidated him and cheated him ofthe fact.”

“I don’t think he is as simple as a child. I think he is a bitcunning. He found that the secrecy between him and you would soonbe exposed, so he confessed first so that he could get lesspunishment. To get to the point, he has betrayed you,” the studentsaid, grinning.

“You can’t speak like that,” Plump Doll corrected thatstudent. “We have to say that Soapy has made great progress in hisideology. He realized his mistake and confessed of his own accord.We should forgive him!”

I wanted toprotest but found it hard to vindicate. I tried a number of timesto explain, but Plump Doll neglected me and didn’t give me thechance to speak.

“I don’t believe what you said is true. Soapy is an honestman. He wouldn’t betray me.”

“Under this circumstance, you should reconsider yourself. Youshould beg us to forgive you. We might even save you,” Hot Peppersaid.

“You must admit your mistake. Or we cannot forgive you!” Thestudents chimed in with Hot Pepper.

“What mistake have I made?” White Swan asked inreturn.

“You have violated the decree from the education commission.You made love with Soapy and you got pregnant as well!” thestudents shouted together.

“I don’t think it is a mistake.”

“Why?” the students shouted angrily.

“Because the decree is against the constitution.”

“Why do you think it is against the constitution?”

“The constitution states clearly that as a Chinese citizen heor she has the right to love or to be loved.”

“But you are a student first. You should listen to theeducation commission. You should abide by the degree from theeducation commission. Otherwise our school will have a kindergartenattached…” Hot Pepper said ridiculously.

“But I am a Chinese citizen first!”

For a moment,all the students were as dumb as a fish.

At the momentHot Pepper took the lead to shout a slogan, “Is White Swanwell-behaved?”

“No, she is not!” the students answered in onevoice.

“What shall we do?”

“Denounce her until she surrenders!” The students were reallyenraged. All of them rose to their feet and asked sternly andloudly, “Have you made a mistake?”

“No, I haven’t. I’m a Chinese citizen. I have the right tolove and to be loved.”

“You don’t want to admit your mistake, do you?”

“No, I don’t think I should admit any mistake.”

“White Swan, you’re a die-hard!” the principal exclaimed. “Yourefuse to admit your mistake even now. I will announce thepunishment for you and Soapy soon. You won’t regret this, willyou?”

“I won’t. I have not done anything wrong.”

“Dare you say it again?” the principal asked again.

“I will not regret it forever. I haven’t done anythingwrong.”

“Comrades, now, on behalf of the school authority, I’llannounce the decision to punish Soapy and White Swan. Soapyconfessed his mistake. We decided to give him one more chance. Hecan continue to study in our school. But White Swan must leave theschool immediately. She has been expelled from our school. Sheacted as a heroine at the meeting. She deserves it!” With that, hefixed his eyes on White Swan.

He thoughtthat White Swan would weep in grief and begged him to forgive her.But she didn’t say even one word and went out of the classroomwithout even glancing back. The principal had no way out. He shookhis head and forced a smile then went out of our classroom.

I couldn’tcontrol myself any more. I had to give her an explanation!Otherwise she would never forgive me! I jumped to my feet and wasgoing to run after White Swan, but Plump Doll shouted at me loudly,“Sit down! Soapy! The meeting is not over yet. Now let’s welcomeour political supervisor, who will give us a speech.”

I took my seatagain. The political supervisor made a speech that nearly lastedone full hour.

I rushed outof our classroom as soon as the speech was over. But when I got tothe girls’ bedrooms, White Swan had left. I immediately ran to thetrain station. I should have taken a bus. But the buses ran onlyevery twenty minutes. So, I ran all the way to the train stationand into the large waiting room.

I wasimmediately submerged into a sea of passengers who were travelingto different parts of the country. All the hubbub made my headswim. It took me a long time to find the channel that went in thedirection of White Swan’s hometown. It was already time to check inand the long queue of passengers began to move to the entrance. Ilooked anxiously for White Swan in the crowd, but I couldn’t seeher. I looked up, and suddenly I saw her. She was at the front ofthe queue and had just stepped into the entrance at a distance. Ishouted at the top of my voice. But she couldn’t hear it andsoon disappeared in thethrong.

I don’t knowhow I got back to my school. I would have cried loudly with abandonif I were not a big man. I regretted what I had done. I needed toexplain myself. I needed to tell her the whole story of what hadhappened while she was away from school. But she left in such ahurry that she hadn’t even given me one minute to pour out myheart. She must have misunderstood me. She must have thought I hadbetrayed her. Her heart must have been bleeding. Back in thebedroom, I threw myself on to my bed and covered my head with myquilt. Tears welled up in my eyes.

Nearly everyday I wrote a letter to White Swan. But two months had passed Ihadn’t received any reply from her. I couldn’t fall sleep at night.I couldn’t concentrate my attention on study. I looked as if I wereat my wit’s end. Summer vacation came. Early in the morning, on thefirst day of the vacation, I went to the train station and bought aticket to her hometown.

Fortunately,just at that moment, there was a train that was soon to depart. Ijumped on to the train in time. But the train was not an expressroaring down the line at seventy miles an hour. Instead, itdawdled, station after station. I was burning with impatience andwas on pins and needles. I closed my eyes trying to sleep. But themore eager I became to fall asleep, the more I couldn’t.

The trainchugged along slowly, despite my anxiety. For five hours I wastortured on the train. At about 2 pm, I got to my destination. Itwas a small town surrounded by green mountains. It was quiet andbeautiful. When I got off the train, a gust of fresh air greetedme. But I was not in the mood to enjoy it. I was thinking about howI could find White Swan. I had no idea where her home was. I onlyknew her mother worked in a hospital of the town. All the letters Isent to her was mailed to her mother.

At the mainstreet I asked an old man where the hospital was.

He pointed ata two-storey white building at the end of the street and said,“That is the only hospital in our town. It is very easy to find. Gostraight and you won’t miss it. You can get there in fiveminutes.”

At thehospital I met a man who looked like a doctor. I told him WhiteSwan’s mother’s name and said I want to see her. The man asked meto wait and went into the hospital. Two minutes later, a woman witha white gown about fifty came out. She looked gentle and kind.

“Are you Soapy?” She asked, as soon as she saw me.

I nodded. Thenshe stared at me for a long time with a look that reminded me of akind mother. I lowered my head with guilt. She told me White Swanwas working as a teacher at a primary school for the kids of thevillages.

“The school is not far from here. It’s about half an hour’swalk,” she said calmly. Then she pointed at a mountain nearby andsaid, “Go along the road. It’ll take you straight to that mountain.The school is at the foot of it.”

I said goodbye to her and walked away. But five minutes later, I turned aroundand saw that she was still there. She stood there, stock-still,like a statue looking at me. Feeling guiltier, I quickened mysteps. About half an hour later, I came to the foot of the mountainand saw two houses there - one large and one small.

At firstglance, I didn’t believe that it was a school. But the sound ofloud reading from the large house attracted my attention. I went tothe large house and pressed my forehead against the window to lookinside. I saw White Swan standing in the front of the classroom.The pupils were disturbed by my appearance.

White Swancame out. When she saw that it was me who was standing before her,she said indifferently, “It’s time for me to dismiss the children.Wait for a second.”

With that, shereturned to the classroom. Moments later, the pupils rushed out innoisy disorder and scattered in all directions. She then took meinto the small room. I took a look around inside. The furnishingsof the room were very simple. A bed put up with some wooden boards,an old table and a chair were all the things there were in theroom. But it was clean and tidy.

“Are you living here?”

“Yes, I am.”

“It’s unfair! It’s unfair for a girl to live here. Thecircumstances are bleak and desolate. It’s very dangerous andfearful!”

“I am used to it,” she said calmly. “How did you find mehere?”

“Your mother told me. I’ve written thousands of letters to youbut you never replied. So, I came here. I didn’t know where youwere. I went to your mother’s hospital and saw her. She told me youwere here.”

“Why did you come here?”

“I came here to apologize. I had been waiting for the day whenI could apologize to you face to face. I’ve felt guilty for what Ihave done - too guilty to even sleep. I have been looking for you.I came here to beg for your forgiveness.”

“You don’t have to condemn yourself so much. Let bygones bebygones.”

“Then why did you leave school in such a hurry that you didn’teven say good bye to me?”

“I had nothing to speak to you about.”

“I went to the train station, but you had gone. You don’t knowhow much I regretted it. My heart was bleeding!”

“I have said already that you don’t have to condemn yourselflike that.”

“I know I betrayed you. But I was cheated. I was intimidated.I’m a fool. I hate myself. I regret what I have done.”

“You are as honest and simple as a child. You are easy to becheated.”

“I feel guilty. Not a day goes by that I do not hope to seeyou again. My heart is going to break. If you still don’t forgiveme, I’ll die soon.”

“You look thinner and paler.”

Tears welledup in my eyes. A moment later, sobbing, I said, “I couldn’t fallasleep at night. I couldn’t eat well. I couldn’t concentrate onstudying…”

“I know how you’re feeling. I don’t think you would everbetray me. I trust that you are innocent. But at this stage, Icannot say that I forgive you.”

“If you can’t, then I will kill myself!” I cried inhysterics.

“Soapy, relax! Give me some time. I might return to normal andforgive you. I just need time,” she consoled me.

For a moment Ilost control of myself and tears flooded down from my cheeks. Itook a step forward and hugged White Swan tightly, but she pushedme away resolutely, saying, “You can’t do that! You can’t!”

I retreated,my face red with shame. To break the embarrassment, I said, “Thisis the school your mother told me you worked at?”

“Yes, it is. It’s a village school. I’m the only teacher here.The large house is the classroom. I’ve got more than fifty pupilsto teach…”

“Oh, it’s unbelievable. Is the small room your livingroom?”

“Yes, it is. It’s my office as well.”

“Which means you live here” He said, not a question but moreto himself.

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you afraid of getting lonely?”

“It is lonely here. But it is better than living in a societyfull of fraudulence, insidiousness and hypocrisy. I’m used toliving alone.”

I feltmy face burning but said, “Your life is terrible. It is pitiful.But all this is my fault.”

“You don’t have to pity me.”

“I’ll stay here to keep your company. I’ll quit school. I’llstay here and protect you for all of my life!”

“You must continue your university study. When you graduate,you can have a good job in a large city.”

“No, I must stay here! I don’t want to have a good job. Idon’t want to live in a big city. All I want is you. You are mylife. I would sacrifice all those things to atone for mycrime.”

“You don’t have to sacrifice so much.”

“I mean what I say. Starting tonight, I’ll stay here. I’llstay here with you forever. Tomorrow I’ll marry you.”

“Don’t get excited. We have done enough silly things. Weshould keep our heads cool.”

“But can you at least put me up here for tonight? It’s gettingdark and I have no place to stay.”

“I can’t put you up here for tonight,” she saidresolutely.

“Where do you expect me to stay?”

“You can catch the 7 pm train and return to school. You haveenough time to get that train.”

“You are not willing to forgive me, are you?”

“I told you already that I need time to think about it. Thetrain will come soon. You have no time to waste.”

I stared atWhite Swan for a long time. I then turned around unwillingly andwalked away like a man drunk. At the corner of the road, I turnedaround and saw her standing there stock still. She looked like astatue in the distance. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

Onemonth after I returned to school, I got a letter from her in whichshe said that she had got married. The bridegroom was a widower andabout fifteen years older than she was. But he was a man that couldprotect her with his life.