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Jane

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Life! What is life? What is dream? Where are mine?

Since you were born, what do you know about life? A lot of things right? Yeah. For some people they can find there dreams, there goals, the meaning of there life along the way. It feels great, right? Well, I don’t know. Not anymore. I thought I found it. I thought I have it, but at some point it’s gone. It’s gone with everything that I thought I have. Feeling. Love. Happiness. I don’t even know what feel real right now. You’re just faking it until you don’t what the real feeling feels like anymore.

Many things happen in life. Some of that can help you find you way; find yourself, but some of it suck you in to the dark abyss. Too deep that you can’t find your way out. Too deep that you lost yourself along the way. Too deep that you think there’s no way up. Too deep that no one can find you, not even yourself.

My life is easy, so easy, too easy. Everyday I don’t need to do anything too exhausting; just eat, sleep, study, and have all the free time to myself. It’s good, it should be. There is no physical damage but my soul, my feelings; it already gone. I’m lost. Empty. Do you know how’s that feel like? When you start to cut everything out of your life, trying to protect yourself, keeping everyone at arm’s length. You doing all of that without even realizing that you’re doing it, until at one point to you became aware; starting to feels that your are so selfish, cruel, heartless.

Reality come crashing back to you at full force, makes you aware that you’ve been living in your own world. The world that you create for yourself, no one can enter but you. Living in the world where you keep your-weak-self lock up and this I-don’t-really-care-about-anything-but-myself play the role in your daily life, take control of everything around you; so no matter what happen, you won’t hurt yourself that much.

No matter which person take control but deep down there’s this girl that is craving for dreams, want to feels alive for once, want to know know how it feels like to live, to fulfill your dream, to know how it feels like to be happy, real happiness, to love, to be the naive girl about finding Mr. Right, to be loved by that one person that fill your empty soul. But will that girl have a chance?