Asylum

Chapter 5-2

I vowed to myself never to do drugs again as I stared down at my malfunctioning member. It made no sense. I had to pee like crazy, but now that we had made it to Mike’s tiny apartment and I stood, ready in front of the toilet, nothing was happening. I groaned and thunked my head up against the nearby wall.

“Everything okay in there?” Mike inquired through the closed door.

“Define okay.” My jaw clenched in frustration, and then wouldn’t unclench. Fan-f*****g-tastic. Another fabulous side effect from whatever was in that damn pill. This wasn’t like the one other time I’d taken ecstasy. I was definitely never doing drugs again.

“What’s goin’ on?” He almost sounded afraid to ask. I couldn’t blame him. He was probably already regretting his philanthropy.

“Can’t take a leak.” I sighed, tucking my sad p***s back into my underwear and zipping up my jeans. He was standing right there as I opened the door.

“That sucks man, but it’ll pass, I’m sure.” He handed me a bottle of water. At my incredulous look, he reassured me. “The water will help. Promise.” I reluctantly accepted it and took a large swig, loving the cool sensation as it traveled down my throat and into my now-quiet stomach. It was also nice to get the bitter taste from earlier out of my mouth.

“Thanks, man.” I followed him into the main area of his studio apartment. It was small, but large enough for his bed, a couch with a coffee table, and a flat-screen TV that had to be at least fifty inches. A short partial wall separated the tiniest kitchen I had ever seen, and that was saying something. We settled on the couch and he clicked on the Discovery channel.

I got lost in the vibrant colors for a while, and that was just the commercials. Then the show came on.

“Shark Week!” I cried in delight.

“Actually, Shark Week is about a month away, so they are playing reruns of ‘the best of’ previous Shark Weeks.”

“Even better.”

“I hope they pick some good ones.” Mike propped his booted feet up on the coffee table and relaxed.

“Yeah, did you see Tara Reid talking about Shark Week on After Dark?”

Mike laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Talk about cringe city.”

“I almost died when she started talking about whale sharks, and how she was confused because whales were mammals and sharks are animals, so how can they have sex.” I snorted. “Oooh, ‘Alien Sharks’! This is a good one! This one has the Megamouth. Did you know that their mouths can reach up to four feet three inches wide? The protruding inside of the upper lip is a brilliant silvery white. The lip was initially thought to be possibly embedded by luminous photophores when the first shark was examined in the early 1980s, which may act as a lure for plankton. But the team examining the second shark in the mid-1980s instead proposed that the lower lip might glow with the white band used as a reflector of sorts, but neither theory has been proven.”

“Wow, you remember all of that from seeing this episode before?”

“Nah, most of that I read online after seeing the show. I was curious to know more.” I shrugged.

“You’re like a walking encyclopedia.”

“Just what every guy longs to hear.”

He stood up and started to strip off his clothes until he was standing in his boxer briefs. I would’ve been worried, but he didn’t spare me a second glance as he gave his balls a nice deep scratch before heading to the bathroom. I felt an insane level of jealousy at hearing his steady stream hit the water below. Maybe now that I had drunk the bottle of water and the drug was starting to wind down, I’d have better luck. I managed to push myself off the couch.

As he exited the bathroom, I entered. I nearly wept with joy as I was able to urinate.

“Wahoo!” I exclaimed and heard Mike laughing at my exuberance from the living room.

As I reentered, he threw one of his pillows at me, followed by one of his blankets.

“The couch is all yours for the night. It’s honestly not bad to sleep on. You should be pretty comfortable.”

“Hey, man, it’s better than the sidewalk, which is where I would probably still be if it wasn’t for your help. I ‘preciate it.” I lay back on the couch as he settled into his own bed, and we continued watching the best of Shark Week until we both fell asleep.