I was never human

I can't stay here

Haaaaaa... here we go with the bs again.

Of course, by the time I got home, Lisa was already riled up. I stood there, irked by the situation. In Sierra fashion, she snitched to her lovely mother. As soon as I walked through the doors, I was escorted to my father's office by two guards who were complete assholes. They have that "humans are lesser than" mentality and it takes everything in me not to f**k them up. Once I'm there, of course my dad is there, sitting behind his desk, with little to no expression. If you haven't guess already, no. Are relationship hasn't gotten better. Its been worse. I feel like the older I get, the less he tries to even interact with me. At this point, why even have me here?

Lisa was yamering on about respectability politics, optics, order and leadership. If I was to translate that bullshit to English, it would say: Don't embarrass Sierra, therefore embarrass me. You're nothing and should be seen as such. If someone is to hit you, let them. Especially higher ranked wolves and blah, blah ,blah. I stared off into space. My arms were folded under my breast and I leaned on my right foot, tapping my left. I've heard all these talking points before and my ears are tired of hearing them.

"Are you even listening?!!"

Lisa's loud, shroud voice cut through my running thoughts like a butter knife. My eyes finally focused back on here.

"Yea... I heard you. Are we done here?"

Her eyes narrowed at me and my deadpan look became even more dead.

"Kwenali."

My dad spoke up from behind Lisa, who was standing too close to me. Over the years, I've adjusted to her stench. I have noticed there are time periods that she doesn't smell horrific, but once whatever she has going on wears off, it's like that odor comes back with a vengeance. One time, I legit threw up. Everyone became concerned about if I was sick. That was the last time my dad showed an once of care for me. So... a year and a half ago? Lisa, the dumb b***h, told my dad I was pregnant. She said that human women were promiscuous and couldn't control their urges. I laughed in her face and said, "Oh? Is that why Sierra was getting banged in the woods behind the medical center?" Mind you, she was 14 at the time, and I just turned 15. I just so happened to walk that direction that day, wanting to go to the waterfall and saw that unwanted scene that has scarred me for life. Sierra was beet red from embarrassment, and Lisa was just as red from rage. Hey... I don't know why she feels the need to test me so much, knowing it will only lead to her looking stupid. Don't start nothing, won't be nothing. She wanted to try and embarrass me in front of eveyone one, I simply returned the favor. Of cours, I was given a pregnancy test anyway, and to no ones surprise, I was very much NOT pregnant. Hell, I'm still a virgin, so there's that.

Anyway, once my dad called my name, I looked in his direction, not changing my body language at all.

"Dad?"

Like, what do you want? I've heard this all before, and I'm done hearing it. He frowned.

"Mind that attitude of yours, young lady. Show some respect. You didn't have to hurt your sister's feelings like that."

"Ok... like seriously. Stop calling her my sister. Not once has she treated me like one, nor does she gets reprimanded when she does crap to me. But god forbid, I defend myself, and now I need to be better and get chewed out. This s**t is on my last nerve."

"I SAID WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!"

My dad said, slamming his hand on his desk, standing. I kept constant eye contact. I've never been one to back down or bow to anyone.

"If you're tired of me, let me go live with my aunt. I'm over this. I'm constantly policed andcriticizedd for saying what I feel because I'm always targeted. Yet when I ask to leave, none of you will let me. Why are we still keeping up this charade?!!"

I'm 16 now, and I no longer need this overbearing, supposed "protection." I've wanted to go live with my auntie for a long while now. She even asked if I wanted to and if things were good on my end. I always end up lying to her. I don't want her to be worried about me, and they're human. I don't need anyone trying to hurt her or my sister on some petty s**t.

My dad's jaw clenched at my words of wanting to leave. His frown deepened.

"They're not your family. We are. That girl is not your sister. Sierra is. Get used to it and get over it."

He said through gritted teeth. My heart felt as if someone had punched it directly. How could he say something like that to me?

I frowned, balling my fist up at my side. I stared directly into his eyes and spoke nothing but the truth.

"They have been my family my whole life. Even without blood ties, they have been more of a family to me than you ever been."

I was done playing nice simply because he was my dad. If he no longer cared, neither do I. His eyes widened at my words. For a second, it looked as if what I said really hurt him. Before I could think of anything else, a hand went flying across my face. It dazed me for a second because it was unexpected. I looked over to Lisa, who had a huge frown on her face.

"DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER THAT WAY!"

I was stunned. The only thing that was running in my head was, "Did she just hit me? Like for real... in real life?"

"Stop all your whining. You're supposedly Sierra's older sister. Act like it. She's younger than you, so she doesn't understand."

She spoke with a smirk on her face. I raised a brow and folded my arms again across my chest.

"Damn... I didn't know she had a problem with comprehension."

Lisa frowned.

"She doesn't. What are you talking about?"

I shrugged my shoulders dramatically.

"Well, I've been here for 4 years now, and she still doesn't understand that I am her sister and that she shouldn't try me. Yet she ignores both things... here, I thought wolves advance quicker than humans. My mistake."

My anger was rising by the second. The patience that I had... my hoping and wishing for things to get better was no longer mining the thoughts of better days with my family. Right now, all I want to do is leave. I know if I should stay, any hope of a better relationship with my dad will no longer exist. I still believe something is up, but I no longer care to find out. It shouldn't be the job of the child to fix something they didn't break, and I'm tired of fighting against it.

Lisa's nose flared as she went to swing and slap me again. Unlike the first time, I stopped her. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her end closer to me. I looked her dead in the eye.

"You got away with it once. You won't get a second time."

I pushed her away, and she stumbled back to my dad's desk, hitting it hard on purpose. She groaned and moned. All I could do was roll my eyes. My dad got up and rushed to her side, cradling her as if she were fragile. I swear they love talking about how strong wolves are, but these women in here are weak as s**t. The wind could break a leg if it blows too hard. My dad looked over at me, fury in his eyes. At one point, that look used to hurt me. Now, I'm used to the feeling.

"Apologize right now, Kwen!"

I blew out some air, unfolded my arms, turned and began walking away.

"Come back here!!!"

Lisa screamed, letting her Luna aura loose. I smelled when her energy changed and felt the weight in the air grow heavier. I stopped in my tracks, confused at the feeling. I turned back around to her and snickered.

"Did you forget I have no wolf. All that aura stuff you're doing, you can stop."

With that, I turned back around, once again, trying to leave.

"Kwen, apologize now or never step foot back in front of me."

I froze. I slowly turned to face him.

"That's fine by me... father."

His eyes went wide, and I left immediately. I went right to my room and cried.

A few days later was Danny's birthday. I kept to my word, and every year since being here, we've made a birthday cake together. We would have picnics late at night, of course, since we couldn't be seen together. I also brought him a charm bracelet. I know, he's a guy, but I did that for Angel when she turned 7. Every year, I would add a charm. The charm would be something that correlated to whatever new discovery she made about herself that year, whether it was music or math. That's my way of saying, "I see you." When he turned 13, I brought the bracelet for him, and every year since then, I've brought a new charm. I was out by the waterfall, as always. I don't know why, but this place has always calmed me. As if it calls out to me, wanting to soothe my aching heart. I had some homework from school that I needed to do over break, so I brought it with me. I had my earbuds in while I worked. Back at the packhouse, Danny's birthday celebration was in full swing, and I didn't care to partake in making myself feel terrible. I'm not allowed to attend his parties. Usually, my grandparents would come get me, and we'd do something together, but they were out of town. So, it was me, the books and the waterfall. Danny and I already did our thing at 12am this morning. Neither invites anyone else, because it's just our thing and I'm always ok with that. I love Danny so much, but I've been thinking it's time to put me first for once in my life. I smelt familiar scents that I've grew to love and instantly smiled. I turned around with a bright smile on my face.

"Hey Sunshine!!"

The little girl came running up to me and jumped in my arms. I caught her and squeezed her tight.

"I've missed Wen!!"

The little girl squealed. I looked up and saw Psy and Sasha standing behind me.

"Hey guys."

Psy took a seat to my left, and Sasha sat to my right. Sunshine is the child Nicole was carrying when I got here. And just like I thought, her aura is as bright as the sun. Sasha and Jake actually named her Sunshine. Since the moment she was born, she's been at my heels whenever she could be. Sunny wrapped her little arms around me as best she could and laid her head on my chest.

"Whatcha doing out her, Kwen."

Sasha asked.

"Come on. You know why. I'm banned from being around my brother, even on his birthday. I have some work to do anyway. I figured I'd come here."

I looked out to the water, not wanting to meet either of their eyes.

"You're thinking about leaving and never coming back, aren't you?"

Psy said. I kept my eyes ahead.

"... yeah. I mean, I'll come back. Maybe during summer break. I still want to learn from Dr. Mason. But coming here to this nonsense all the time is tiring, and I'm over it. I love you guys. I love my brother. I love my grandparents. I love all the guys and all those who help me and support me, but this is no life to live. I have a family that would love to have me, but they can't. I have loved ones who want to shower me with love, here, and they can't. How's that anyway to live? My mom left me a company. I have money. My aunt puts money in my account, and I have access to everything. When I'm away at school, she teaches me the ropes, and I've become accustomed to it now. I'm not tied down by others and their predetermined thoughts about me. I can be and do whatever I want. I'm tired of diming my light so that others could shine. Even if I left or limited my time here more, I would still keep my hair hidden. At least till I'm done with school. I still would have to come back here, and I don't feel like the unnecessary strife... I'm just tired."

I felt sunshine hold on to me tighter. I looked down at her pretty face that emulated her mother's.

"Dont leave me, Wen. I miss you."

Her pretty eyes watered at the thought. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her hair back.

"Even if I was to leave, I could never forget about you. I'd still love you. I'd even visit time to time."

I looked up and looked from Psy to Sasha, with a sad smile.

"And I mean that about all of you. But I can't stay here."

We all sat in silence for a while, just listening to the rushing waters of the waterfall flow.

"I can't say I blame you. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to help or protect you. You know how much Jake and I love you, the other guys do as well. I have no idea what's gotten into your father, but you shouldn't have to deal with it. When you do leave, dont forget about us. We're not blood, but you are family."

I smiled at Sasha as she leaned down, kissing my forehead, then slipped her hand into mine. Psy leaned her head on my shoulder, holding onto my other one, as Sunny rested against my chest. We all sat there as the sounds around us faded into the background.