I was never human

What does that say about me?

The doc and I left my daughter alone to sleep. My head was filled with her words, and my heart felt weighted down by them.

She believes I would leave her... that I would abandon her... like I did her mother.

I stopped in my stride, took a deep breath, and rubbed my hands up and down my face, pinching the bridge of my nose. Dr. Mason stopped with me.

"You have such a wonderful daughter. She looks just like her mother."

I nodded my head and smiled.

"Yea. Yea, I do. She really is a replica of her. I can only imagine the things Kwen said is probably the way Minnie felt. I left her. I just up and left her... I didn't even try to fight. Why would she trust me? I abandoned her mother, why wouldn't she think I wouldn't abandon her too?"

I lowered my head in shame. What the f**k am I gonna do?

"Alpha, it's gonna be ok. She just has to get adjusted to life here and realize that you will be there for her. She just lost the only parental figure she's ever had. To then be thrusted a new one the same day her mother was buried can be a lot for anyone."

"I know that, but look at the full picture. The day Minnie comes to me with probably her most joyous news ever, I kill it with my bullshit. Not even 24 hours later, I was in bed with another woman, and then a few months after my daughter was born, my son came into the world. 12 beautiful years for me could very well be seen as her source of misery. Her mother never married or dated anyone beyond me. I can't say the same."

"It's natural for one to be with their mate. And although it probably wasn't handled in the best way, she knew you enough to know that you needed who the Goddess picked, especially for you, even if it wasn't her. She loved you, even I can tell that much. if she didn't, she wouldn't have made that decision for you."

"That's the problem, though. She loved me more than I loved her. She gave up everything even when nothing would be returned. What does that say about me?"

I couldn't face any more reality checking. I never really thought twice about the life she could be living. I just hoped she was happy, and I was grateful to her for making a really hard decision easy. After that day, she packed up and moved, and I never spoke or saw her again. How could I have been so cruel? I got to spend my life the way I've always envisioned it. But what about her? She then got thrusted into parenthood at 22, going on 23, and she had to do it alone. Now I'm expecting my 12 year old daughter who has only ever known her mother to just accept and believe I would be there for her?

I walked back to my office, poured a glass of scotch, and took a seat at my desk. I didn't want to be near my mate. I've been feeling guilty from the things Kwen said but also coming to the reality that I have never not loved Minnie. I've chosen to be in love with Lisa, but the love I had for Minnie has never faded. It was easy to ignore because I've never seen or spoke to her, but seeing that video and then looking our daughter in the eyes. Those same eyes that matched hers, along with that beautiful dark complexion. It all trudged up old feelings I didn't even know was still there. I keep trying to think back on our memories together, but it's all just a haze, and if I think too hard, I get a serious migraine. I downed the first drink and poured another. I heard a knock on my door, and in came my beta and gamma.

"How's she doing, B?"

Jake, my gamma, asked.

"Probably not good. She just found out her dad's a damn gargoyle."

Luke said, and Jake punched him in the arm.

"What?"

Luke said, rubbing his arm.

"Can you not find something else better to do than let your mouth open and let s**t fall out."

I chuckled at them. They've been the same since we were kids.

"She's doing alright. Well, I guess as good as one can be to find out your half wolf but with no wolf. Oh! How bout you find out that you have a piece of s**t for a father. He didn't even think of your mother in the slightest and took the f*****g easy way out. He let your mother choose for him. She did what he couldn't, so now 12 years later, BAM. I'm right on my dad's doorstep. A man who didn't even attempt to fight for my mother, so why would he fight for me?"

I threw the glass I had in my hand against the wall, and it shattered. No one said anything. No one could say anything.

"Look, man. You can't blame yourself for that. She made the decision not to tell you."

I looked over at Luke.

"It's the why. Why she didn't tell me is my fault. Had I not been caught up in me and mine, she could've at least told me without feeling like she was being guilted into not saying anything. That is my fault."

Again, silence.

"Listen, we can't sit here and play the 'what if' game. Don't sit and ponder on things you can't change. Focus on what you can. You can change that unsure feeling you have where your daughter is concerned. Focus on the gift Minnie left you. Your daughter is still here. Focus on that. Now, I haven't met this apparently stunning daughter of yours that monkey see, and Monkey do have yet to stop talking about... Let's start there. Start with getting her to trust you to be here for her and go from there. That you can do."

I looked at Jake and nodded my head. He was right. I needed to deal with the here and now, and right now, Kwen is my present. A knock on the door again interrupted my thoughts.

"Come in."

In comes, slowly, my daughter. I frowned.

"Kwen? What's wrong? What happened?"

Axel was immediately tryna figure out if someone had done something to her. She was fidgeting by the door.

"Um... I have a hard time sleeping in new places. Sorry if I'm bothering you. I'm just... used to going to my mom, but... I didn't know who else to go to. I can go if I'm disturbing something. Uh, you know what? Yea. Yea. I'll just go."

"Wait! Wait. It's ok. You're not bothering me at all. Please, come in."

It was clear she was nervous and rambling. She came in and headed for the couch. I reached out for her, and she hesitated for a second, but she took my hand. I sat her down on my lap. She looked up at me, confused then over to the guys. She looked away, embarrassed. I smiled down at her. She was just too cute.

"How'd you find your way here?"

She looked at me.

"I left out my room, and a big looking guy that was by my door told me where to find your office... am I in jail or something cause that man looked like a prison warden."

Jake and Luke both laughed, and I chuckled along with them.

"No. You're not in jail. He's there for your safety."

She nodded her head and looked at the guys.

"Let me introduce these two bafoons to you. To my right, you have Jake Stone. He's my Gamma, third in command. To my left, we have Luke Givens. He's my Beta, who's second in command. I'll introduce you to my commander later today."

They both smiled at her. She sat up in my lap and smiled at the both of them, looking them square in the eyes. No, she has no wolf, but she, for damn sure, has alpha blood in her.

"My name is Kwenali, but you can call me Kwen."

We chitchatted for a while. Luke and Jake had her laughing and smiling the whole time. Axel was at peace, and I think her laughter is his favorite sound now. After a while, we heard soft breathing. I looked down and she was sleeping. I sat just watching her sleep in my arms.

Does this mean she trusts us now? I would never hurt her.

I know that, buddy. We just need to give her more time, that's all.

My conversation with Axel was interrupted by Jake and Luke, mindlinking me.

"Seriously, Brandon, Kwen is gorgeous. Congratz on another amazing pup."

"Seee. Now you owe me and Bruce an apology for teasing us. You're gushing too, now Jake."

Jake rolled his eyes at Luke, and Luke sat with a snide smirk on his face. I shook my head at their shenanigans as I ran my fingers through Kwen's beautiful hair.

I'm gonna need to speak with my parents soon. I'll definitely call them in the morning. Once I had enough of watching her sleep, I took her to bed and headed for my own.