Chapter Two
2305 Words
[ this chapter contains abuse and self harm. read at your own risk. ]
Bella
"You stupid woman! You are worthless!" Papa shouted in full anger and then he hit me again. I felt another slap landed on my left cheek.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you should ready my food every time before I get home? You annoying brat!"
Slap another slap after the other and the other. I cannot do something but to accept all the slap and punches from him.
"I'm sorry, P-papa. We do not h-have any m-money! P-please stop, Papa." i pleaded as I cry my heart out. I sobbed harder when I felt her balled wrist in my stomach making me more weak.
"Is that my f*****g problem, huh brat!? Go out and earn money, stupid worthless brat! No wonder your mother never came back because of you! I wish you were dead!" He slapped me again, harder than he did earlier. This time, I tasted blood from my lips. For sure, my lips is already busted from the non stop slaps and a punch he gave me.
But then again, what's new?
He is literally in rage right now because he came home famished but I failed to serve some food on the table. I can't go to Leandra's right now to ask some bread or anything left over they have because she wasn't home. I got shy to ask from Helios that's why I just waited for him to come home assuming that he is sober and he will give me a little money to buy our dinner because he did that before. But for my rotten luck, he is drunk and under the influence of drugs.
I cried harder when I got another punch from him and he dragged me by my hair. He opened the door of our apartment and he tossed me like I'm just bag of crisps on the floor.
"Do not comeback here if you do not have any food! Get your annoying worthless existence out of my face!" He hissed and then he closed the door.
I fixed my position and hugged my knees closer to myself. I looked like a hopeless abused human ball right now but I couldn't careless. I just want this hell to end. I was getting beat up because he failed to give me money for food. I was getting abused emotionally and physically because he failed to act like a good father that he should be doing.
My life is full of sufferings because my father failed to get his s**t together. I suffer from the things I cannot control. I suffer from my own father's miserable life.
"Bella?" I jumped when I heard a voice and a hand to my left shoulder. I eased to the other side from the fear of getting beat up again. I felt my anxiety attacked me in full force that I started to shake and sobs helplessly.
"Hey, Bella. It's me, Helios. I got you." I felt him hugged me but I flinched making him remove himself from me, giving us distance. "Are you okay? Come, I will aid your busted lips."
I shook my head as I hugged myself tighter.
"Please? Promise, I will not hurt you. Come to our apartment? Mama will worry if she sees you here, trembling and sobbing. Come on." He said gently, caressing my head.
He offered his hand and I shyly took it. I slowly followed him to their apartment still sobbing and shaking in horror. He guided me to sit in one of the loveseat in the small living room.
"Thanks." i whispered.
"Wait here I will just get the first aid." He was about to walk away when I grabbed his hand. "What if my father opened that door and beat me up again? Don't leave please" I started sobbing again. I feel like, if I don't give attention to my surroundings, he will just pop out of nowhere and beat the s**t out of me again.
"I will not let him hit you, I know you know that. You're in our apartment, Bella. You're safe here." He said softly but I shook my head and held his tighter, not letting him go because I'm scared, terrified even. I will not be safe if we are in the same building. Helios sighed and he looked at me with sadness. I don't blame him, I feel sad for myself too.
"How about I lock the door? Is that gonna be enough assurance for you? Promise, you are safe here. I'm here for you." He squeezed my hand and smiled softly at me.
I let go of his hand. He turned his heel to lock the door for my own good. I smiled slightly after he locked the door. I tried to calm down and reminded myself that I'm with Helios, Leandra's son. He will not do anything to harm me. This family is nice and kind to me, they even give me their food because my father is irresponsible and cruel. I'm a just a pathetic freeloader to them but they are good people, I should trust them a little.
Helios came back with a glass of water and the first aid kit. I tasted the blood again from my busted lips but ignored it and I reached for the glass of water. I feel like I haven't drink some water for a year.
"Thanks." I whispered again. He sat down beside me, carefully wiping the blood out of my lips. I flinched because it hurts but I tried to endure it.
"I bet your father got mad again because there's no food in your table." He said softly but I failed to respond. Not because I do not want to talk to him but I don't wanna think about happened earlier before he found me outside.
I feel exhausted. I am so tired with this routine. I don't wanna leave him because at the end of the day, he's still my father; blood and flesh. But, I'm just a normal person. I do have my limits, I also reach my rock bottom.
Oh God. Please give me a break. I beg you.
"There. Do you want to sleep? Or I could cook for you. We do have some leftovers from last night's dinner but I don't mind cooking just for you." Helios said but I shook my head.
"No, thank you. But, can you please give my Papa his meal?"
He rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "He beat you up but you still think about his meal?"
"He's still my father, Helios." I smiled slightly, "Please? I would love to rest anyway."
"Unbelievable." He left out a sigh but he nodded. "Okay then. You can rest in my bedroom. Come." He offered his hand but again, I shook my head. "I'm fine here. I can crash here, in the couch."
"And I don't want you to crash in my couch, Bella. You'll be comfortable in my own bed. Besides, Mom will kick my ass if she found out that I let you sleep here. You know how protective she is when it comes to you, yes?"
"I guess so." I mumbled.
"Yes so. Now, come. I'll tuck you in. You need your rest, darling."
I followed him silently as he lead me to his bedroom. His room is just like my room but a bit messy. He got a small bed and a study desk. My bed is full of books, different books Leandra gave me. The walls is painted plain white, his shirts are all over the place, like I said; a bit messy.
"It's messy but it would help you get enough rest." He commented as he guided my to lay back down on the bed. He put a blanket all over me and he gave me a soft smile. "Rest. You'll eat when you're up."
He left the room. I stared at the ceiling, thinking again. This the dangerous part of my day. When I'm left alone in a room, quite with my own thoughts.
Sometimes, I get scared with my own mind.
I put my hand over my inner thigh to feel the cuts that I did for over five years now. I started when I was fourteen, trying to hurt myself so I could help myself to be immune from the pains of everyday abuse. But as the year goes by, the cuts feels normal to me. Just like the everyday punch and slaps, it became part of the pain I want myself to feel.
As the year goes by, the pain and cries feels normal. I should stay strong but I'm already lost. Each day, my reasons to live are slipping out of my hand. It gets blurry and blurry each time.
I don't know how far I will f0rce myself to fight this misery when my own mind is the one telling me to end this all with my own hands?
I just want this agony to come to an end.
**
I opened my eyes. My eyes felt heavy and hurting a little bit maybe because of too much crying earlier. My body aches everywhere especially, to my stomach because Papa landed three or four punches there. I heard a faded whispers from outside the room.
I scanned the room, it's already dark outside. I looked at the beside table where the clock is sitting. It's over eight in the evening.
Even though my body hurts, I decided to get up and walked over the door. I have to go home before my Papa looks after me. If he is going to wonder where on earth I'm staying at this hour.
I eased the door open, I saw Helios and Leandra discussing something in the living room.
"Hi." I announced my existence. I got their attention, they looked at with sadness. Leandra stood up, she reached my right cheek, caressing it carefully.
"Dios mio, look what he did to your beautiful face!" She exclaimed. "Your lips is all busted and you have a black eye and you're covered in bruises again." She nearly cried but I offered her a sweet smile even though my wound on my lips ached because of the sudden movement.
"I'm fine, Leandra. Helios aided me earlier. He let me sleep in his room too." I tried to sound cheerfully.
"Yes and you will spend the night here and to the following days. After what he did, I'm not letting you go back in the hell hole!"
"But-" I protested but she cut me off
"No buts, Isabella. You will stay here until your wounds and bruises heal. After that, you will go to your work, do you remember what I mentioned to you last week? The job about being maid?"
"Sure." I answered even though I completely forgot about that at all. If she didn't mentioned it, I would not remember.
"Well, after Helios mentioned me what happened and how he found you laying down at hallway outside, I decided to call my friend and I told her that you really need the job. It's a stay in job." She explained as she lead me to the dining room. She made me sit on one of the seat and she turned around to prepare something.
"Sorry, you mentioned something about stay in job? What do you mean by that?" I asked politely. I smiled to Helios when he put a glass of water in front of me.
"Yes. Meaning you will stay in the mansion six days a week. That's what she told me and I said you can stay there. You're no longer safe with your father, Bella. Luckily, she said she will hire you but she needs your Bio-data and she will talk to you."
I nodded. I kind of glad that I get to stay there six times a week. That way I can stay away from the abuse or if I'm lucky enough, Papa would finally stop calling me worthless when I started putting food in our table.
"But how can I get the Bio-data that you were saying? I don't have any of those and I only graduated secondary school." I announced when I got confused again.
"I would help you with that." Helios smiled at me.
"Thank you.''
"So, it is settled then. You eat your dinner and go back resting."
After dinner, I asked Helios to get me some blankets because I'm crashing in the couch tonight. But he refused to let me. He told me that I can use his bedroom until I left for work.
"But, I don't wanna intrude in your private space, Helios."
"I insist. Go and get some rest. I would get mad if you don't lay down back on my bed." He said in a serious tone.
"Please, don't be mad." I mumbled under my breath but he managed to hear it. He smiled at me, he really have a cute smile, "I won't but please, go and rest. I know you are exhausted."
"Are you sure it's okay?"
"Yes. You can get my bed anytime you want." He assured me.
"One more thing, did you gave Papa some food earlier like you promised?"
"Yes. I even gave him his dinner. His highness is wasted in your couch, passed out from drinking too much alcohol. I won't get surprised if one day, one of his nerves will blow up because of too much drinking." He shook his. I held his hand and I squeezed it. Maybe not tight for him but too tight for me.
"Thank you. Goodnight."
He smiled and he squeezed back my hand. "Everything will be all right, Bella. Good night."
- Writer
