RIVALS INCARNATE

Chapter Twenty: We're Not The Same

PRESENT, 2020 (TOKYO)

It felt like they just had argued about something. It had been almost half an hour since they got into the car and left the restaurant.

Yuko Amazawa could totally feel the extreme awkwardness and discomfort stretching out all over the air inside Kyouhei's car as he drove them back to her place. He still had not said anything about the whole thing, and neither was she. It was pretty obvious that there was still that big elephant named "Ami Komatsu" lurking in the silence between them, but Yuko tried to avoid saying anything for a while.

It was hard to talk seriously about the woman Shin used to love... Learning that she was no longer the same person. Yuko felt her heart lurching just thinking how much this whole situation changed everything.

"Are you upset about what I did back there?"

Out of the blue, Kyouhei's voice popped in like a sudden alarm, mildly jolting Yuko from the passenger seat. She turned and looked at him, her eyes slightly dazed, wondering about his direct question. It was spot-on but she felt the need to address it right away.

"Why would you think I'm upset?" She probed back, after a short calculative pause.

"Was it wrong for me to rudely decline that idea?" Kyouhei openly confessed, "I don't know how far we should go for my sake this time. I know how tough it is, but I just want to know what you think of it first, Yuko-san."

It was very evident that he was now beginning to reflect on his impulsive actions a while ago. Though she could not really blame him for that, Yuko was relieved to hear him ask her about this. It was unusual, that he was suddenly opening up to her... And for some reason, it made her feel needed. Was she actually glad about that? Yuko deeply pondered, confused as she watched his face slowly turned sullen while he kept his gaze on the road before them. He looked very serious.

"You want to know what I think?" Yuko answered after mulling over it, "You're smart, Kurosaki. And if we use simple logic it's just like choosing whether to be bad for the sake of your good intentions or be good and not be able to make a change. And any wise man would immediately choose the first one in a heartbeat."

"You make it sound so easy," Kyouhei merely snorted, bitterly smirking as he went on, "Yet I don't think that's the only choices you would have."

"This world has never been really beautiful and pure, Kurosaki," Yuko sighed heavily, speaking with a soft voice as she looked away and settled her eyes on the view of the passing streetlights by the window beside her. "Komatsu-san is right, you can't possibly win without swallowing your morals in this industry we're in."

"I know that," she heard Kyouhei replied in a low voice, "But I still want to believe that goodness still exists despite all that, Yuko-san. How sure are you that it'll always be all that ugly?"

She was sure because she had been through that. Years of superiority and royalty taught Shin everything about what it felt like to be always at the top. When he had first taken over the throne as the Emperor during his past life, there were so many things that he had witnessed and done. Things that he was not most proud of himself. Things that he had only done upon learning how he must live his life as someone with such great authority. Betrayal, murder, hatred, ignorance, greed, envy, and power... All of those things were like a poison that will feed your soul into darkness, and even the noblest and most decent human being in this world will never get to survive all that.

Shin knew this because he had been guilty of those things too. Although it had been a really long time ago, it still felt like it was just yesterday. And up to now, his retribution was proof that it never died inside of him. He still wanted to get his revenge.

He was still filled with hatred and greed.

That was made her feel much guiltier now as Yuko kept her silence beside Kyouhei. He had no idea... But she was not going to forfeit just because he never remembered. 

"Do you still want to become the Prime Minister?"

Her question felt like an ultimatum, and Kyouhei let out a frustrating sigh, stopping abruptly on a red light. Sharply turning his head to look at her, his eyes went stern and angry. Yuko met his stare and remained impassive. Was he offended now? Will he back down? 

"It never mattered if I want to become one or not," he admitted, sounding like he was now on edge as he kept his eyes on her, "Is that what really matters to you?"

Wasn't that his dream before? Yuko wanted him to be honest about his real intentions. He never questioned her like this before. He had always said yes and followed her through these years. Was he having second thoughts? Was he finally giving up? And it seemed like if they still kept this conversation going, there will be no resolve waiting in the end. She wanted to end this now.

"I want you to be the Prime Minister," she briefly remarked, using that domineering tone of hers as she stared straightaway towards him. She wanted him to deeply realize her goals for him, her plan to make him sit at the very top, even when he already knew them all since the beginning. She wanted to remind him again why and how they had become like this now. He can never abandon her... She had to make him do it all. She had to get what she had always wanted.

"And what happens after that?" 

Not expecting such a follow-up from him, Yuko's face instantly changed from somber into surprise as she gaped back at his words. She never saw that one coming and she never thought that he would even think about that. After that? Why was he asking about that now? Was he suspicious now?

"It's green," Yuko tried to evade the question when she noticed the green glow gleaming over Kyouhei's face through the windshield. Then she turned away and looked towards the front. She did not like how this had turned out now. 

"After I became the Prime Minister, Yuko-san, I want to know what will become of it?" Kyouhei still insisted, not even minding the loud honking of other cars behind them as he kept his gaze locked on hers. "What will you do?"

"It's green, Kurosaki," Yuko grumbled back, turning to glare at Kyouhei. It was quickly starting to annoy her that he will always catch her off guard like this. This had never used to happen before when they first met seven years ago. Yet now, it suddenly daunted over her... Things were suddenly changing so fast.

When Kyouhei still did not try to press on the gas pedal, Yuko took the initiative to reach his side with her leg and stepped over his shoe. It immediately got him moving as he pushed her back to her seat and angrily sent her a dark glower.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he scolded her, roaring as he pressed the horn and finally started to drive again. "Do you want us to die?!"

We already died before. And you killed me, Yuko just silently thought to herself, scowling.

"It's f*****g green," she cursed back instead, crossing her arms over her chest in a childish way. It just so happened that she was saved by the stoplight from answering his irritating questions. Yuko's nostrils flared as she leaned her head back over the cushion of her seat. Why was this drive taking them too long?

Silence overtook them after that for a few minutes, the tension slowly dissipating.

"Are you still not going to answer me?" Kyouhei after a while asked again, but this time he chose to be gentler in his approach as he kept an eye on her from the driver's seat. She was sulking, obviously. But he still wanted her to respond.

"Why do you want to know?" she refuted back, sounding annoyed.

"Because..."

He suddenly paused, and it was too abrupt that it almost sounded like he had been cut off. He was suddenly too unsure if he should be continuing his words now. He weighed it over his head. And his sudden silence made Yuko slightly move over her seat. She was now overtly anxious about his remark as she slowly turned her head to give him a blank look. She saw him frowning deeply while he just silently drove without saying anything again. Just what was it that is wrong with him? Why was he suddenly acting like this? What was running inside his mind?

Yuko did not want to admit it, but she was both feeling so nervous and really curious now. What was he going to say to her? Whatever it was, she knew it was something he had been trying to keep inside for a long time. She had already suspected his hesitations and troubled thoughts since that time at the party. It was since then when he started to really act weird around her. But would she really be ready to hear it all now? Can she really handle what he was going to tell her?

"Because what?" 

Before she could even stop herself, her mouth had already run on its own, and Yuko bit her lip, holding back a groan. What was she thinking? She should have just let it go. And while she was deeply regretting the whole thing, Kyouhei eventually spoke back. And this time, he was no longer hesitating. His voice got steadier.

"I want to know where you would be with me after that, Yuko-san," he eventually confessed with no holds barred, pulling up by the side of the road at the same time, looking determined. Then he paused and looked her way. As if something really important was about to happen, he gave her a soft gaze.

"Where will you be once you're done with your goals for me, Yuko-san? Are you still going to stay by my side?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------next chapter: Chapter Twenty-One