RIVALS INCARNATE

Chapter Thirty: What Is This Feeling?

It felt really strange being held like that way.

For a brief few seconds, Yuko Amazawa could not feel anything else, could not see anything else, could not sense anything else but only the entirety of Kyouhei Kurosaki. She did not even know how long they stayed that way, and she had totally forgotten that he was supposed to be a rival, an enemy, someone Shin--her past life--had loathed terribly. And here she was, with Kyouhei's--General Rei--arms wrapped around her body, hugging her, and she was doing nothing in her own accord to remove herself from it.

His scent, his warmth, his embrace, the slight shiver of his body, the feeling of his heart beating against her chest. She could feel him everywhere while they stayed too close with not much air to breathe in between. She knew that she had to push him away but her body had stuck on its own position as if it had wanted it with its own mind. She can't really move. She was beyond reasoning to even realize that she was in a situation that she should never tolerate nor even like in the slightest bit. She withheld every thought inside her head since it already blacked out and she eventually forgot that she was literally hugging him.

"Please stay," she heard him utter, his chest vibrating on every word he said as he breathed against her ear, "Stay with me, Yuko."

At that point, she was really glad that she had come to her senses when she heard him speak and abruptly stepped back, pushing him with her hands placed on top of his shoulders. How did she end up holding him? She cannot really explain how it ended that way but everything went so fast and so slow that her own brain could still not process what just happened. She was momentarily swayed by an unknown feeling that had ultimately led her to abandon all restrictions inside her head that she had kept to keep her at a reasonable distance from him. So how did this happen?

"Yuko?"

He leaned back a little, frowning at her as she stepped back once more and dropped her hands to her side, biting the inside of her cheek upon learning that they had been staying in that same intimate position for almost quite too long to her liking.

"This isn't funny anymore," she remarked.

"Yuko..."

"Dropping the honorifics now, are we?" she said, looking up to meet his eyes with a wry smile. It was an attempt to mock his absolute boldness to address her by the first name alone right after what Osamu had tried to do a while ago, "I don't know why you're suddenly acting like this. But since I had been used to all kinds of stupidity that you've done in the past years, I will let this go. And I really have to leave."

"Yuko-sa-"

"You can meet me tomorrow, in my office. Whatever that you were about to tell me that needs an explanation as you said, it can wait until then," Yuko pressed on, slightly pausing. Then she scoffed at him and said, "This is just so unprofessional of you, Kurosaki. I don't know what you have been thinking but we're at a working place right now. Have you forgotten that?"

Kyouhei looked wounded, remorseful, and disappointed as he kept his mouth shut and looked at her.

"But don't worry. I'll forgive you this time. But I won't ever promise anymore that I'd still tolerate it if you do that again. Thank you."

 And with that, she left. Without looking back, she held her head high, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth while she walked. She hated herself for letting him do that to her. She hated herself for being swayed for a moment. She let him get so close (too close) and now she felt like burning and melting into a puddle of shame and guilt. How can he do this to her?  She let out a scream inside her head, she can never let that happen again.

Yet Kyouhei was completely feeling otherwise.

He watched her walk away, out of the building, disappearing into a corner, until he could no longer see her presence. Then he immediately felt sad... and deeply hurt. For a long while, he just stood there, thinking and weighing over his own actions while he reflected on them. But he can't really say he had regretted doing any of that. For once, he almost had revealed everything to her. Just a little more and she would have known... what he truly feels. But she had forcefully closed herself off again. Like a tight shell, afraid to reveal herself to the world and become fully aware of her entire surroundings... She had cowardly run away from him.

But he knew he already did his best to, at least, move her in some kind of way. Even for just a little, he knew she felt something.

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"So what was it about?" 

The first thing that Osamu Sato had quickly noticed as soon as Yuko Amazawa finally appeared and got into the backseat of his limousine waiting outside the building of her office, was the apparent distaste shown on her face. She was clearly infuriated and annoyed about something, yet it still did not stop him from inquiring about what had happened after he left them just to satisfy his curiosity.

"That's none of your business," she sternly brushed him off, not even daring to spare him a glance as she looked forward and sighed when the car started moving, "We have a different thing to discuss, remember?"

"Right," Osamu smirked, clicking his tongue, though quite honestly disappointed that she would not even tell him anything about it. He would have wanted to at least know why Kurosaki looked so jealous when he had jokingly kissed Yuko on the cheek a while ago. He had to admit, that part was the very thing that amused him the most. 

"Let's wait until we get to the restaurant first before I tell you everything," he then said after a moment, still smirking as he looked out of the window beside him. He watched the glow of lights passed by while he thought deeply, still stuck from the scene he had witnessed not too long ago. Something had really left an impression on him, right when he saw Kyouhei glared at him when he tried to cut their conversation short much to that guy's displeasure. And for a second, Osamu felt like blurting out his thoughts to Yuko, just to know what she actually thought about it too.

"He likes you, doesn't he?" he spoke so suddenly, breaking the icy silence in the car, partially bemused and chuckling at his own words as he found it rather ironically hilarious. If only that damn Kyouhei bastard knew who he really was in the past... That would definitely be the day. And Osamu would certainly kill for that very moment just to see the look on his face.

However, Yuko felt extremely annoyed as soon as Osamu brought it up again, for she had been trying so hard to forget all of that while she kept her silence. She still could not get past the fact that Kyouhei had hugged her like that. How could he? Fortunately though, for her, Osamu had already left the place before that had even happened. If he had been there, she would have rather killed herself right then. She was too ashamed that she had let that happened. How could she? She was supposed to keep him away and drive him off to insanity but it was very clear now that what was happening was actually the opposite. She was the one who was slowly being driven off to insanity... And even when she already knew that it was happening, she still couldn't try and prepare herself to evade all of that.

Why?

Something had shifted, right after that little talk they had shared back in her hometown. Something from that moment had truly changed. And even though she already has a certain guess as to what Kyouhei was trying to tell her, Yuko simply wanted nothing to do with it. She had to push him away. That was the only thing to do. She had to remind him that whatever that is going on between them should clearly stick to the plan. She had so many things she wanted to pursue... And having to face this kind of complex situation was surely not one of them.

"He likes you," Osamu said out loud, and this time he had chosen to repeat his words just to get her attention and inflict a reaction from her. But Yuko forced herself to ignore it, as she scowled, flared her nostrils, and turned her face to the other side to silently indicate that she did not want to talk to him. Osamu watched her with a sly smirk on his face, realizing that she was completely bummed out. She was affected by it... And he was not even barely surprised.

The Emperor was no longer just a man who was purely driven by pride and greed. He now had to accept the fact that she was also a woman. A woman with her own feelings, apart from whom she used to be in the past...

And as Osamu thought about this to himself, he exhaled loudly and looked out of the window again. She could try to run away but she can never really escape. Once the feelings get acknowledged, even for a little bit, there was only that much that one could ever do... But none of it could have helped her to get away, unchanged. She would definitely be inflicted, unintentionally. 

Cause that's what feelings do to a person, it affects everything. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------next chapter: Chapter Thirty-One