RIVALS INCARNATE

Chapter Forty-Four: More Than A Heartache

PRESENT, 2020 (Tokyo)

A firm grip of reality...

That was what he needed right now. Kyouhei Kurosaki smiled bitterly as he threw his head back and downed the remaining contents of the cold scotch in the glass he had in his hand and took it all in one big gulp. He shut his eyes closed, screwing his face up, and tried to let the rapid burning effect of the liquor hit the back of his throat in a soothing motion because the stinging reminded him of reality. The feverish rush consumed him in an instant as he felt the scorching hot liquid glided down to his chest and then to his stomach. Slowly, his mind went hazy. He felt a little tipsy but he was still sober.

Reality. Get back on track.

He told himself those words, more like a warning rather than just a mental note. It was just something he needed to keep in mind because if he did not do it he might actually lose the last thread of his mentality. It had been three days since that morning he had walked out of Yuko Amazawa's office broken and emotionally bruised. Though he did still receive a call from her not long after that to remind him of his agenda this coming busy week, there was still no hope for a better reconciliation. She was all just for business, as usual. And it seemed like she had shut him out completely. What would he even expect? She had easily detached herself from everything else aside from her best interests and this damn freaking elections campaign.

Was this all still worth it?

He was not sure anymore. And Kyouhei let out a faint snort, smirking again as he puffs out a heavy sigh. She really was a hard case. This was pathetic, and he knew he should just move on eventually. He did not really have to sulk like this for too long. But he could not help it. Perhaps, this was all because it actually took him years to finally realize that she was never really going to reciprocate his dumb feelings for her. And to hell with all these dumb worthless feelings. Now, what had been left of him after that very terrible morning with her was this badly scarred ego and his empty heart.

Romance sucked. Kyouhei simply concluded as he moved his eyes up and looked across the bar counter and signaled the bartender for another round of his scotch. The bartender just nodded and quickly worked for his drink. Kyouhei leaned over the counter and rested both of his arms on it. He was supposed to go home and not drink too much but he could not help it. He was too stressed and nothing seemed to feel right every time he walked into his office and forced himself to go through everything. It suddenly got boring and he can't ever really say he still wanted to do this all now.

But he promised. He can't back down like this. Was being the Prime Minister all that really mattered? For her, she never really considered his feelings, not even a little bit. She shut the door on him and now it felt like he really lost all the remaining warmth between their relationship. All he got now was this icy, painfully distant indifference.

How will he ever move on? He still wanted her despite all that.

That was what made this all more difficult to bear. He was a sucker for her. And he knew he would still do anything she would tell him to. That was how much of an i***t he was. He would only have to look at her and get victimized by those eyes and he'll give anything.

It was a primary flaw of his entire character, he was too emotional and driven by his own passionate side. But then again, it had been too long since the last time he really had a woman around. Maybe he also missed the feeling of it. He was only seventeen when the last one did not work out and after that, it was Yuko ever since... Even until now. It was still Yuko.

That was why he might really need a distraction.

Distraction how? That was the problem. It was either a new love interest or the weight of his job. Those were the only two that he could think of as a solution. But then the job was slowly losing its appeal to him since he knew he can never really tolerate its hostile toxicity anymore. There were too many complications and threats there, and he needed something to relieve himself from it and this damned heartache. And that leaves him the love interest as the only option for this.

Kyouhei chuckled to himself, feeling so childish for having these kinds of thoughts. Had he really resorted to this? Was he that desperate? Then he remembered having to deal with his ugly broken feelings and the loneliness that always comes back to him whenever he enters his apartment and finds it all empty, cold, and hollow.

He was all alone.

That made him took a mental step back and tried to look at the whole picture of his present. He was all by himself. All on his own for so many years now. There was really no one there with him. At all.

Not even Yuko. No one.

And he felt like wanting to cry, like a child, his chest hurt and he felt the coldness seeped into his veins as it spread throughout his entire body. He looked at his reflection on the glassy wall across him. His hair was a mess, his face slightly pale, and he looked completely pathetic. You've been so sad and demented. Why don't you give yourself a treat?

The bartender appeared before him, and Kyouhei snapped out of his thoughts when he placed the drink beside his hand. Kyouhei muttered his thanks and the guy walked away. And as Kyouhei looked down on his new glass of scotch, he suddenly felt like not drinking anymore. Then from out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a red dress. A woman took the seat beside him. He distractingly turned to look over his left and saw her face right away. She was not someone he would know. She was a complete stranger. She was pretty.

Then he could not stop gawking, he kept his spot and just stared... Although it might have been weird and she might get creeped out by it, yet he still kept staring until she felt his eyes on her and she turned and met his gaze. She paused for a second. They held each other's eyes for a little while until a smile slowly crept up to her face and she gave him a slight tilt of her head to the side.

"Hello," she said in a casual tone. She sounded like she was so used to it, saying hello to strangers, and her voice came out crisp and a little husky. Her lips were tinged red, and that was the only thing highly emphasized on her face. She did not really need that much makeup, she was attractive and Kyouhei tried to muster up his courage so he could try the option he had in his mind: a new love interest. Or maybe just a rebound, or some company. Even if it was only temporary. He did not care anymore.

He was desperate.

"Hi," he said back after a moment, and her smile widened. Then the bartender suddenly cut into the scene, interrupting the moment, as he slid a glass of vodka into the woman's direction. She turned her head to give the guy a glance and gladly took her drink and nodded at him before the bartender finally left and she looked at Kyouhei again. This time, her eyes were already sparkling, a mischievous glint showing in them. And Kyouhei immediately forgot about reality. This one was more real. He took his chance to finally introduce himself.

"Kurosaki Kyouhei," he told her, not bothering for any more description. Just a name. This was not serious. Then he added, "Are you here with anyone?"

"No," she shook her head slightly, raising her glass while she kept her eyes on him and she sipped some vodka, "No ring here, so no trouble," she added raising her free hand up, her palm facing her, to give him a look of her bare fingers. No ring. 

Kyouhei laughed lightly, raising both of his hands as well, mimicking her. "Same here," he said.

And for a moment, he was feeling much better than a few minutes ago. Even though there was still that gnawing feeling inside his chest, he could get used to it. Then he heard her say, "You all alone tonight? I could use some company. Only if you are up for it."

He raised a brow, and he slowly turned his whole body until he was facing her as she gave him another smile, "What do you have in mind?"

"Nothing serious," she said as if reading his own plan, "Just some fun. What do you think?"

He saw the warning signs over his head. He saw a flash of disapproval from Yuko, heard her voice telling her that he should go and leave the place before he does something stupid again. But then he remembered his own troubles, his empty apartment, his cold bed, and his lonely self. He thought, to hell with it. He wanted something to get him away from all that s**t tonight. So he forcefully threw the warning signs away, he pushed the image of Yuko and her voice out of his head. He looked at the woman before him, smiling seductively, tempting and dangerous.

This was what he needed. And this time, he was really going to do something stupid. Because it was worth it, and because for once in his life, he did not want to be lonely anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------next chapter: Chapter Forty-Five