Sebastian's Obsession

Chapter 12

I woke up at four in the morning. Not because I was excited for the day, but because of the noise. Cana's siblings woke up too early to prepare for their internship. So even though I was still drowsy, I forcefully woke up.

I yawned, unable to pull myself away from the bed. I waited until 5 a.m. before getting out of it and then arranging the bed. Obviously, I am more of a night owl than a morning person. Even before, when I was still the CEO of my company, never have I woken up so early.

"Cana, what time do you leave for work?" I inquired after her siblings had left the house.

"Later at 9 a.m.," she responded, "and at 7 a.m., I'll accompany you to Basyang to see if they still have a room to rent, which I hope they do, just so we can be neighbors."

That appeals to me as well. This means that I don't have to be on my own if I ever have a problem.

I only hope Isabelle is able to return home as well. She's been in France for three months, which is already a long time. And who knows, maybe one day I'll just wake up and find out she has a boyfriend there. Not that I'll object to whatever her life choices are, but because I have missed her already. She has been my best friend since elementary and we've stuck with each other through thick and thin. This was the first time that she wasn't here to comfort me with my problem. Not just a mere problem, but my total downfall. Living is so expensive and I unluckily have lost all my privileges.

I heaved a deep breath, trying to ease the emotion that began to pile up in my chest again. Not now. My eyes are already tired of crying.

I think of happy moments— good memories with the people close to me, yet it wasn't able to overpower the negative emotions within. My grief is more powerful than my recollections. Perhaps it's because my existence is a reflection of grief. The pain has become invincible and immune, making it difficult to eliminate it.

Healing takes time, such as forgiveness. If only I could just go numb and not feel anything. That would be better. The past bound me and so my present was messed up.

Life would surely be easier if my parents were still alive. I would not have forced myself to grow into an adult just to manage the business and have enjoyed my teenage years.

Wasted years.

Destroyed dreams.

And life filled with regrets.

A promising future—blown by the wind.

To live is to fight. But what will happen to those who get tired of fighting? To perish along time? Life is a struggle itself and only those who are strong enough can win this race. What's worse is that there is no shortcut towards the finish line, but just mere direction. Sometimes, it is so enticing to end my life, but thinking about those people who are fighting to live...to breathe made me feel guilty. Despite all I've lost, I'm fortunate because it wasn't my life that had been taken from me. I can still build a house or create a company in the future, but living happens only once.

And I hope I'll survive.

It was six o'clock when I decided to take a bath. The bathroom is tiny, with no bathtub or even a shower. The toilet bowl and the bathing area are both situated in the same place. I'm curious if someone needs to defecate but someone is still bathing inside. Will they wait till the bath is finished? Or go inside? I can't fathom it, nevertheless, it looks to be tough. Nonetheless, if Cana and her sister can live a life like this, I know I can too. It will not be easy. But I will.

Usually, it would take me hours to shower but miraculously it only took 30 minutes and I am done. Perhaps it is because I can’t waste water here, as every drop costs dollars. Somehow, with this situation, I learned to appreciate little things. One of which I often disregarded before. I realize that when you're poor, you will learn to appreciate everything. And when you're rich— even with a life filled with privilege, you will always look for more despite having full abundant blessings. With money, we forget to be grateful and contented, and perhaps that's the disadvantage of being wealthy. Now, I have learned...but in the most difficult way.

Today, I tend to dress in comfy clothing that isn't overly flashy. My plan is to look simple and perhaps poor. If that's what it takes to get less rent. So be it.

After blow-drying my long and wavy hair, I put it on my back. Enabling it to flow freely on its own accord. My gaze was drawn subconsciously to the mirror and eventually found myself admiring my face. My white dress made me appear young and innocent, and my complexion complimented my outfit beautifully. Life is filled with stress. But amidst problems, my beauty blooms. Kidding aside, I wish life could be as simple as just choosing what clothes to wear and what shade of lipstick to put on. Why must we have to make everything complicated? But because it is our human nature to complicate things, here I am worrying about the future. If not for my ego, I would have made Sebastian my sugar daddy now. I shook my head in amusement. What a strange mind I had. Yesterday, I was angry. Earlier I was emotional. And now, I am acting as if everything had turned out well. I must have gone insane.

My thoughts were only interrupted by a call. "Winter, come here, let's eat," Cana shouted in the kitchen. I stood up on the couch and walked onto her.

Cana and I ate. Brushed our teeth. Washed the dishes. And after organizing everything, and putting the plates back on the rack, we headed straight toward our destination.

And since I didn’t know where we were going, I was just behind Cana, following her every step. A few steps more until we arrived at a blue-themed house with a large gate in it and signage written in front.

'Basyang Room for Rent,' I read the words in my head. I guess this is the place.

The house's exterior is adorned with a variety of flora. Plus, the yard is pristine. Which attracted me as I like a place that is neat and orderly.

Cana rang the doorbell twice before a woman in her 60s came to the gate. Her greyish hair was pulled back into a bun, and her spectacles complimented her appearance. Even though she appears to be fairly old and has a wrinkled face, the woman must have been pretty attractive during her youth. The only thing that concerns me is her strict demeanor. Her brows are furrowed, her eyes are chilly, and her face is expressionless. I'm wondering if she's an old maid or if she had a family of her own.

"Oh, Cana. What are you doing here?" the woman whom I assumed was named Basyang inquired.

Her gaze was drawn to me, and she seemed to be scrutinizing every aspect of my existence. I've become conscious of the way she looks at me. As though she's passing judgment on me.

Cana immediately responded with a courteous smile, "I'd like to inquire whether you still have a spare room to rent? My friend needed a place to stay."

"This friend of yours looks rich, Cana."

I put on a fake smile and promptly shook my head, indicating that I disagreed with her opinion. I'm not wealthy; in fact, I don't have much money. The woman didn't even budge to smile at me as she turned her attention back to Cana. What a snob, old lady.

"Yes, I still have a vacant room to rent," the woman continued, "come with me and I'll show you the room first as she might not like it."

We quietly followed the old woman. My actions are subtle fear of making a mess. Especially because the lady still doesn't seem to like me. It's perplexing because I didn't do anything wrong to her, or is she just like that? I don't know her well enough to pass judgment just yet. So, this is just my first impression, which is subject to change.

The house has two floors. The second one is for rent and the lower one is where the owner resides. I guess 6 people can rent here, as we have passed 5 occupied doors in the hallway already and this is the sixth room we are in now, which is the sole vacant.

I looked at the rest of the room, it was neither big nor small, just right. There is little space for the kitchen, little space for the living room, and the bed is also small. The crucial part has been divided and even though the space is small, it fits me.

"Could you tell me where the bathroom is?" I inquired after failing to notice a restroom inside. This is one of the disadvantages of boarding houses.

The lady came out and pointed to the opposite side of my room with comfort room written on it. I see. I guess it's okay even if it's not inside because it's also close to my room, just a step farther.

"All right, Ma'am, how much is the rent, and is it paid monthly?"

"Would you take $2,000 a month in exchange for free commodities, energy, and water?"

I looked at Cana asking for an opinion because I didn't know if it was a good deal. And her nod became my assurance.

"I will take this," I responded.

Later I found out that Basyang was actually the woman's name. She also explained the dos and don'ts as well as her household regulations. Her rules aren't too complicated, so it's not too hard to follow. I merely said yes and no to her every question until everything was settled. While Cana went to work, I took my bags inside the room and decided to begin arranging them. Finally, a shelter.