LOVER

Chapter 4

My finger hovered over the block button for close to ten minutes. Sanity and common sense had prevailed. Somehow. It was time for my brain to take charge. I had more to lose than him. Getting caught for him meant going to jail. Getting caught colluding with a known criminal meant I lose myl license and go to jail. I wasn't ready to risk that.

I pressed the block button and took a deep breath. Common sense also told me he would most likely find a different number and use it to call me. I got off my desk, grabbed my bag and made a beeline for small convenience shop. I bought myself a new sim card. I got back to the office and quickly changed the sim card. Lucky for me most of my numbers were saved on my phone so I wouldn't lose much. But I did have to delink that number from any apps on my phone. Once all that was done I let out a sigh of relief. I needed to focus on my career and stop chasing after criminals.

I did my rounds, checking on patients and mingling with my colleagues. Although Zhou was still at the back of my mind, intentionally avoiding thinking about him seemed to be working. Days turned into weeks and his name and face were no longer at the forefront of my existence. Yes, a part of me missed the danger, the adrenaline, but nothing would be worse than losing my career.

"SERIAL KILLER STRIKES AGAIN" a headline read on the highway. I chose not to engage or even think about it lest I be sucked in again. I was finally moving to my apartment, getting out from under my parents protection. Although it had allowed me to save a lot over the years, it was time I grew up and started my own phase of adulting.

I got to the complex and it felt like everywhere I went, the universe was conspiring to suck me back into Ghu He Zhou's world. Everyone from the security to the other tenants, everyone had something to say about the latest murder. Felix couldn't help me move because of work so I was left with my mother and the movers. Although I had little furniture to start with, my parents had bought me a fridge and a bed. The rest I'd have to figure out on my own.

Unloading was done in less then an hour. That's how little I had but I was happy to be starting on my own. Mum laid on my new bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I can't believe you're really moving. Who am I supposed to gossip with in the morning?" She asked. I could feel her voice getting emotional. I laid my head on her chest. "You're so grown." She added brushing my hair. "To think you were a baby just a few years ago and now you're a doctor forging your own path in life. I am so proud of you my baby." She planted a kiss on my temple.

"I am 25 mum, I have to be my own person now." I told her and she laughed.

"Of course. And you know what makes me even happier, I've never had to worry about you. You've always been focused on your goals, not allowing anyone or anything to distract you. Now you're going to meet a man who is going to love you, marry you and then you'll give me lots of grand babies to spoil."

I felt a pang of guilt at her words and yet they made me realise my decision to block Ghu He Zhou from my life was right. I couldn't disappoint my parents. God alone knew what they would think if they knew I was dabbling in some dark tendencies. I'm sure my father would disown me. And my mother, I didn't even want to think about it.

She helped me get the place clean and tidy before she went back home. And just like that I was on my own. It felt good, but it also felt lonely. For the first few days anyway. After that I got into a nice rhythm, ordering furniture and getting excited about making it my own. Everything was falling into place, Ghu He Zhou was out of my life, my career was on an upward trajectory, everything was the way it was meant to be. Or so I thought.

I walked into my office and there he was, standing by the window, his hands buried in his pockets, his legs crossed and his head bowed as if he is praying. For the first time ever my heart started racing. No, it wasn't the happy to see him kind of heart racing, it was the nervous, fearful kind. I quickly closed the dooe and locked it. Right there and then it felt like my choices had come back to haunt me.

He brought his head up and our eyes met. It took every ounce of strength in me to not jump on him.

"Hi." He said. I stood by the door, my hands holding on to the key and handle, just in case.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice was squeaky somehow, it felt like there was someone else speaking and not me.

"You've been scarce." He told me. "I've been trying to call you but I keep getting a 'this number doesn't exist' message." He added. I thought that would have been a clear message. But who was I kidding. This was the same man who had come into my house while I was sleeping, with my parents right down the passage.

"I still don't understand what you're doing here. And how did you even get in here?" I asked. Keeping the distance between us was hard, but I had to. If not for anything else then for my own sanity.

"You know if you didn't want to see me you could have just said that. I know how to listen. And I know which boundaries never to cross." He said. He sounded hurt and guilt filled me up pretty quickly. But again I had to remind myself what was at stake for me. I took a deep breath, if he is good at listening then this should be easy.

"I can't see you anymore."

"Why?" He knew exactly why. But I guess he wanted to hear me say it out loud.

"You know why. With all that's happening around you and your siblings, being associated with you means I'm putting everything I've worked hard for on the line. I have more to lose than you do. I'm not trying to judge you or anything. I dont know if you are the serial killer and if you are I don't know why you do it, kill people that is, and even if I knew it wouldn't matter to the general public. Instead I'll be seen as an accessory to whatever it is you do. And with that I will lose my license, my father will most likely disown me, my brother's job may be on the line as well. I cant afford for my family to suffer because I got lost in my attraction for you." I said as fast as I could before I lost my nerve.

He nodded his head and pulled himself up from the window sill. He took calculated steps towards me. The closer he got I could see how hurt he was. I quickly turned away from his eyes, I couldn't stomach seeing how my words hurt him. I couldn't allow myself to retract my words. He snaked his one hand around my neck, planted a kiss on my forehead.

"I understand." He whispered. "And don't worry, no one saw me come in and the cameras are off." He added. I stepped aside and he opened the door and walked out. And just like that he was gone. Out of my life. It seemed easier than I had expected. A small part of me was hurt that he wasnt willing to fight for us and yet a bigger part of me was hoping and praying that the day they get caught, none of this comes back to haunt me.

Although I missed him, his absence made me realise the magnitude of what I had done. I was in close proximity to a serial killer. Multiple times. I even laid in his bed and allowed him to give me a mind blowing o****m. And through all of that, fear had not invaded a single bone in my body. It was like I belonged there. With him. Crazy, I know. Letting go of him was scarier than actually being around him. But like everything else in my life, it was a fear I had to face.

Day after day I got used to his absence. Week after week I buried myself in turning my apartment into a cozy little home for me. I started cooking more and actually enjoying it, for the first time ever it didn't feel like a chore. I brought my brother lunch almost every day, making sure to call him outside so I don't have to see his flirtatious detective. My life was back to normal and I didn't have to look over my shoulder all the time.

On one of my off days I had decided to make lunch and invite my family over. I got up in the morning and cooked. I set the table and waited for them to arrive. My parents arrived first.

"This place looks better than the last time I was here." Mum commented, looking around.

"Well, thank you. I am trying."

"You should consider interior design as a side hustle." My dad suggested. That was definitely not happening.

"No thank you. I have my hands full already. Juice?" I asked.

"Yes please." Mum answered. I filled two glasses with orange juice and served them. We sat on the couch while waiting for my brother to arrive. We chatted about everything under the sun, but mostly my mum wanted to know if I was dating anyone.

"You're getting old." She reminded me. I saw my dad rolling his eyes and i chuckled.

"She is not getting old. In fact she is way too young to be thinking about marriage. Let alone dating." My dad told her. I always loved it when they started arguing about me when I was right there. It wasnt the first time the topic of marriage had come up. As far as my mother was concerned by the time I reach thirty my eggs would be scrambled and chances of me giving her grandkids would be diminished. She would always remind me that she married my dad when she was just twenty two. That's way too young for me but I let her be. I was her only daughter, so her fussing over me was expected.

"All I am saying is that you shouldnt wait too long to have kids. You don't want to be fifty and chasing a toddler around. Its tiring, trust me." I zoned her out as soon as she started listing all the negatives of having children when one is older. My dad was right there countering every one of her points with positive ones. At that moment I was grateful sense had prevailed before I had lost all that was meaningful to me.

My brother arrived an hour later, still dressed in his uniform. He seemed to be in a rather happy mood.

"I can't stay for long, I have to head back to the station." He said. We gathered around the table and said Grace before mum dished up for her husband.

"So, what's with the good mood." I asked. Felix's smile was as wide as an ocean.

"Well, I have good news." He started.

"Tell us then or do we have to dig it out of you?" My dad probed. His patience was running thin.

"Okay, patience daddy." He said. I chuckled, I knew this stunt very well, whatever he wanted to say was probably big in his head and very minute to the rest of us.

"So, remember the serial killer story?" He asked. Immediately I stopped chewing and looked at him.

"Yes, what about it." Mum asked.

"Well, we caught him. Well I did." He said. I dropped the fork onto the plate causing everyone to turn to me. I tried to swallow the rice in my mouth and it felt like it went down the wrong pipe. I went into a coughing fit, drinking water and coughing some more.

It took a few minutes for everything to calm down. I could feel tears running down my face. I took my glass of water and gulped it down.

"Are you Okay?" Dad asked. I nodded my head and poured myself some juice. I took a sip and allowed myself to calm down.

"Sorry, I think my food went down the wrong pipe." I admitted.

"Drink more juice." Felix urged.

"No, I'm fine now. You were saying?" His smile came right back and his excitement took over.

"Oh yeah, the serial killer. Guess where I found him?" He asked us. All we could do was shrug our shoulders, the guessing game was not something we needed at that moment.

"Fine. Okay, I went to the garage to buy some snacks last night right after my shift. When I came out he was standing by the car, relaxed as ever. He said since we've been looking for him, he was here to find out why? I took him into custody and he has been in interrogation since." He said.

"So he gave himself up." I thought. I couldn't figure out a good enough reason for him to do it. But now I was wondering who exactly was in police custody.