The vampire and the mistress

Chapter 15

"She's asleep." I heard whispering quietly in my ear as I turned my head towards a body and rested.

"I'll take her up if you want me." The familiar voice of Xander woke me up a little more.

"She is awake now. For saying you two are vampires, that was a little on the loud side." I complained and opened my eyes to find myself in Dorian's arms. "You said you'd wake me before we got back." I looked at Dorian accusingly, which made him laugh a little.

"I did try and wake you, but you were out cold." He shrugged a little and then put me down on my feet. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for tonight, Dorian. That was what I needed."

I felt Dorian wrap his arms around me, and one hand came up to the back of my head. "Anytime Ro. I'm pleased you're smiling again."

"Do you really have to go?" I asked softly.

"I told you the reason earlier. I need to go and just burn off some steam. I'll always be on the other end of the phone for you, Ro. I promised I'd help you anyway I can, and I will. Even if I'm not here in the house."

"Thank you, Dorian, and please be safe."

"You too." I pulled away and looked at him with a small smile.

"Safe travels." Xander told him a little tense.

"Thanks." I noticed the way Dorian had been a little stiff with Xander, and I never pictured these two being like that. They always seemed so uniformed, as if nothing could ever break them. Yet here they were, broken and in need of fixing. I just hoped that their friendship could overcome this, as I wanted to have both of these vampires in my life and not be left with just one.

Dorian nodded and then left back out the door; he must have carried me through, and Xander put his arm around me.

"What did you two do?" He asked as if he were a little suspicious of us both.

"Talked and walked." I shrugged. "I'm going up to bed." I went to leave, but Xander lightly pulled my wrist, pulled me close to him, gave me a hug, and then kissed my head.

"He'll be fine."

"It's not him I'm worried about." I whispered softly to Xander. "It's you." I pulled away and then headed up the stairs to my bedroom. I stepped out onto my balcony in hopes that I'd see Dorian one last time before he left, but I had a feeling I'd already missed him, and it didn't sit right with me, but I knew Dorian had to do what was right by him and had to protect himself, just like we all had to when things got tough.

"You miss him already?" Xander's voice behind me made me jump a little.

"He's my best friend, Xander; what do you think?" I asked him simply.

"He'll be back. I promise. He's like a bad penny that always comes back." I rolled my eyes and turned and looked at Xander.

"I don't doubt that." I told him quietly. "He's already promised me he'd be back, and I know he'll live up to his promises."

"You do seem in better spirits now that you two have sorted things out together." Xander came to me and lightly touched my face. "But you seem a little on edge as well."

"I'm on edge as you seem to have got yourself wrapped up that much in this Lucian and Liam hunt that it feels like your forgetting about me and my bestfriend has now gone..." I broke off and looked down.

"I'm sorry if you feel that way Rosa. I'm trying to keep you safe from them both." I wanted to argue back but I stopped and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes.

"We're just going around in circles with this Xander." I told him softly. "Right now all I want is I want to go out there and find Liam and kill him because I don't stand a chance against Lucian and then take you to him so you can kill him and then we can go back to everything being better than this."

Xander laughed softly as he lent down and kissed me on the lips lightly. "I'm sorry for treating you like this and I'm sorry you feel this way sweetie. I promise, when this is all over and done..."

"I know, I know, we can sort out everything and live the happily ever after until..." I broke off and shook my head.

"Until what princess?"

"Nothing." I mumbled and walked away and looked out over the woodlands as I saw movement in the woods but it was far too fast for me to see what it actually was.

"What's really on your mind."

"Lots of things." I snapped and looked at Xander. "Your pushing everyone away Xander. Your keeping secrets from me and your making your friends keep those secrets from me too. How is this fair? Don't I deserve to know?"

"I could argue that you did the same to me." Xander laughed shaking his head.

"No. No I didn't. My secret wasn't to protect you to begin with. My secret was to keep my backside alive. So this isn't even the same."

"So your plan to end your own life by me."

"I told you why. I told you why I came to that conclusion as I got pushed into a corner with no out."

"But you did have an out and it was come to me."

"So much for forgive and forget." I muttered as I shook my head and looked at him disappointed. "Since Dorian isn't here I may as well throw it out to you that I already know what your keeping a secret from me and no he never told me. Someone else did."

"Cordelia." Xander growled in anger. "Dorian knew..."

"I asked Dorian." I told him. "So you want to get mad at anyone, then get mad at me." I could feel all my anger bubbling under my skin.

"Why? How did you know about her?"

"How did I know about her? She came to me at the market and told me to speak to Dorian and Dorian told me about her. Why? Because clearly you had no plans on telling me the whole truth. What was it you said to me all those months ago about watering down the truth? That's what you've been doing to me. Watering it down and trying to wash it over and distracting me."

Xander ran his hand through his hair as if he wasn't sure what to say to me next.

"Your turn. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I had to protect you Rosa. I had to make sure you didn't go back to before and I certainly don't want you out there looking for Liam because of this. I know what your like and you are like me, your bent on making everything right regardless of what's at stake."

"I do want to make things right, your right, but the difference is, I know when I can't do it alone." I pinched the bridge of my nose a little. "I'm hurt you never trusted me enough to tell me and I'm hurt you made Dorian and Marie keep the secret too."

"I just..."

"I know, you just wanted to protect me. I get that more than anything, but sometimes to protect me keeping me in the dark isn't the best thing for it. Sometimes protecting me is being honest with me."

I looked up at Xander to see his usual stone mask slip and disappointment and upset was fixed on his face. "Where do we go from here Xander?" I whispered. He came close to me and stroked my cheek lightly.

"I know it's too late, but I don't want to fight with you Rosa." I heard the defeat in his voice. "I think we both need a little time away to think things over and figure out what we need to do."

I nodded as I looked up at him and lightly touched his face. "A little time is good." I whispered as I fought to keep my emotions away. He lent down to my forehead and kissed it lightly.

"Don't do anything brash Rosa, please. I won't be able to forgive myself if you decide to leave and go and find Liam and try and put an end to all of this.

"I won't as long as you don't either." I told him quietly as I took another slow deep breath and let it out. I felt the weight of Xander's head leave my forehead and then he'd vanished. I closed my eyes and took another couple of deep breaths. Well done Rosa for handling that like a pro even though we'd agreed we'd stay calm when it came to Xander. I opened my eyes and headed back inside, it was going to be a long lonely few days. Was I too harsh on him for keeping the secret from me? I had no idea if I had been or not as it seemed like my emotions just wrapped me up and took me away with him. It'll be fine.