Dating My Brother's Best Friend .

Chapter 15 : The Silence.

Wednesday morning I arrived at 8:51 expecting coffee.

There was coffee.

But there was also a small paper bag beside it.

I sat down and looked at the bag. Then at Roman's office. His door was open. He was at his desk, already working, and he did not look up when I arrived.

I opened the bag.

Almond croissant. Still warm.

I picked up my phone.

Me: You went to the bakery.

Three dots appeared immediately.

Roman: I was walking past.

Me: At 8am on a Wednesday you were walking past a bakery that's fifteen minutes in the opposite direction from your apartment.

Roman: I take different routes sometimes.

Me: Roman.

Roman: Fine. I went specifically to the bakery. Are you happy?

Me: Why?

The dots appeared and stayed for a long time.

Roman: Because yesterday I was jealous and I handled it badly and I don't know how to apologize properly so I went to the bakery instead.

I looked at the croissant.

Then at his office.

He was looking at me now. Across the floor. Through the glass wall.

I picked up the croissant and took a bite and watched his expression shift into something that might have been relief.

Me: Apology accepted.

Roman: Good.

Me: But we're still talking about the jealousy thing.

Roman: I was afraid you'd say that.

At lunch I told him we needed to talk properly.

Not in the office. Not surrounded by people who might overhear. Somewhere neutral.

"The park across the street," I said. "Twenty minutes."

"Lina—"

Twenty minutes," I said. "I'll be there. You should be too."

I left before he could argue.

The park was small — more of a square with benches and trees and the particular mid-week quiet of a place that existed between buildings. I sat on a bench near the fountain and waited.

Roman appeared at 12:37.

He sat down beside me. Not too close. Careful distance. The way he always was when we were in public and he was thinking about who might see.

"Talk," he said.

"You were jealous," I said.

"Yes," he said. "We established that yesterday."

"I need you to tell me why," I said.

He looked at the fountain. "Because Daniel Chen is a good colleague. He's professional. He's friendly. He has no reason not to talk to you and every reason to keep talking to you because you're talented and interesting and—" he stopped. "And I hated watching it."

"Why?"

"Because he can do it without complication," Roman said quietly. "He can talk to you at lunch. He can compliment your work. He can ask you to look at materials on a Friday afternoon and it's just colleagues being colleagues. I can't do any of that without it meaning something else."

I looked at him. "You bring me coffee every morning."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because it's private," he said. "It's early. Most people don't notice. And if they do notice they think I'm being a good supervisor. Daniel Chen smiling at you across the canteen at lunch — that's public. That's visible. That's what colleagues do when they're interested."

"He's not interested," I said.

"You don't know that."

"I do know that," I said. "Because even if he was, it wouldn't matter. I already told you. I'm yours."

Roman was very still.

"You can't keep saying that," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because every time you say it I want to—" he stopped. Looked at the fountain. "I want to do something about it. And I can't. Not yet."

"Why not yet?"

He turned to look at me. "Because Kai doesn't know the whole truth. Because the company doesn't know what this is. Because we agreed to twelve weeks and we're only at six and I don't know what happens at the end of it."

"So you're waiting," I said.

"I'm trying to be responsible," he said.

"You're being scared," I said.

He looked at me for a long moment. "Yes," he said. "I'm being scared. Is that what you want to hear? That I don't know how to do this without risking everything I've built? That I don't know how to tell your brother that the arrangement we started for professional reasons has become something I can't name yet? That I'm terrified of what happens if I say it out loud and it changes things in ways I can't control?"

The park was quiet around us. The fountain. The trees. The distant sound of traffic.

"Roman," I said quietly.

"I know," he said. "I know this isn't fair to you. I know I'm the one who said we should stop pretending and then I'm still—" he paused. "I'm still afraid of what being honest actually costs."

I looked at him sitting on the bench beside me being more truthful than I had ever heard him be and I felt something in my chest compress and expand at the same time.

"Okay," I said.

He looked at me. "Okay what?"

"Okay, you're scared," I said. "I'm scared too. We can be scared together. But you don't get to be jealous of Daniel Chen while also refusing to do anything about the fact that you want to be the only person I'm paying attention to."

"That's not—"

"That's exactly what you're doing," I said. "You want me to be yours but you don't want to claim it publicly. You want exclusivity without commitment. And I'm telling you right now — that doesn't work for me."

He was quiet.

"So what do you want me to do?" he said finally.

"I want you to decide," I said. "Either this is real and we figure out how to make it work with Kai and the company and all the complications. Or it's still just an arrangement and we stop having conversations like this one."

"It's not just an arrangement," he said immediately.

"Then what is it?"

He looked at me for a long moment.

"I don't know yet," he said. "But it's not nothing. And it's not just professional. And it's definitely not something I'm willing to watch someone else try to have with you."

I looked at the fountain.

"Okay," I said again.

"Okay?" he said.

"That's enough for now," I said. "Not forever. But for now. As long as you know that I'm not going to wait forever for you to figure it out."

"I know," he said.

We sat in silence for a moment.

Then he said: "Thursday dinner. At Kai's."

"I remember," I said.

"It's going to be complicated," he said.

"Everything with us is complicated," I said.

"Yes," he said. "It is."

He stood up. "I need to get back."

I stayed sitting. "I'll be there in a minute."

He looked down at me. "Lina."

"Yes?"

"Thank you," he said. "For the park. For saying what needed to be said."

"You're welcome," I said.

He walked away.

I sat on the bench and watched the fountain and thought about a man who was scared and jealous and honest and still trying to figure out how to be all of those things at once.

My phone buzzed.

Roman: The croissant was a good apology but insufficient.

Me: What would be sufficient?

Roman: I'm working on it.

Me: Let me know when you figure it out.

Roman: You'll be the first to know.

The rest of Wednesday passed in the specific tension of two people who have just had a real conversation and are now trying to exist normally in the same building.

I worked on the Harmon refinements. Roman worked on whatever Roman worked on in his office with the door half-open and his focus absolute. We did not talk for the rest of the afternoon except for one brief exchange about a client timeline that was entirely professional and entirely loaded with everything we had said in the park.

At 5:30 I packed up my desk.

At 5:32 Daniel Chen stopped by.

"Hey," he said. "Still good for Friday? The Singapore materials?"

I had completely forgotten.

"Yes," I said. "Friday works."

"Great," he said. He smiled. "Looking forward to it."

He walked away.

I looked at Roman's office.

He was watching. Of course he was watching.

I picked up my phone.

Me: Before you get jealous again — it's a professional meeting. About work. Nothing else.

Roman: I know.

Me: Do you?

Roman: I'm trying to.

Me: Try harder.

Roman: I will.

Roman: Lina?

Me: Yes?

Roman: I meant what I said in the park. About this not being nothing.

Me: I know you did.

Roman: Good.

I put my phone in my bag and took the lift down and walked out into the Wednesday evening and thought about the fact that we were both trying to figure out the same thing and neither of us knew the answer yet.

Thursday arrived faster than I wanted it to.

Kai's dinner. Seven o'clock. His apartment in the part of the city where rent was reasonable if you were willing to walk twenty minutes to the nearest train.

I bought wine on the way there because Kai had told me to and because showing up empty-handed to your brother's dinner when your brother is trying to figure out if you're lying to him felt like a bad strategic choice.

I knocked on his door at 7:03.

He opened it. Smiled. The genuine version. "Hey."

"Hey," I said. I handed him the wine.

He looked at the label. "This is good wine."

"I know," I said.

You're either trying to impress me or apologize for something I don't know about yet."

"Can't it just be good wine?" I said.

"With you? No." But he stepped aside and let me in.

The apartment smelled like something cooking that actually smelled good, which meant Kai had been working on it for a while. He was good at cooking when he had time. Tonight he had clearly made time.

"Where's Roman?" I said.

"Not here yet," Kai said. "He texted fifteen minutes ago. Said he's running late."

"That's unusual," I said.

"I thought so too," Kai said. He looked at me with that expression again. The reading one.

I looked at the kitchen. "Can I help with anything?"

"You can sit down and stop looking nervous," he said. "It's just dinner, Lina."

"I know," I said.

"Liar," he said. But he said it gently.

Roman arrived at 7:21 with a box from the bakery that was definitely not the almond croissant place.

Kai took it. Opened it. Looked at the contents. "You bought the entire dessert menu."

"I wasn't sure what you'd want," Roman said.

"So you bought everything?"

"It seemed efficient," Roman said.

Kai laughed. Actually laughed. "Come in. Dinner's almost ready."

Roman came in. He saw me sitting on the couch. Our eyes met for exactly one second.

Then Kai appeared between us with wine glasses and the moment broke.

"We're starting with this," Kai said, holding up the bottle I'd brought. "Because apparently my sister thinks I need impressive wine tonight."

"It's just wine," I said.

"It's sixty-dollar wine," Kai said. "I checked."

Roman looked at me. I looked at my hands.

"Let's eat," Kai said.

Dinner was good.

Actually good. Kai had made something with chicken and vegetables and a sauce I could not identify but wanted to. We sat at his small table — the three of us, like we had sat at tables before, except this time everything was different and we were all pretending it wasn't.

We talked about work. About clients. About a project Kai was chasing that had complications. About the Singapore office and whether Daniel Chen was settling in.

"He seems competent," Roman said.

Kai looked at him. "That's a very Roman way of saying you don't like him."

"I didn't say I don't like him," Roman said.

"You said he seems competent," Kai said. "That's what you say about people when you're being diplomatic."

I focused very hard on my food.

"He's fine," Roman said. "He's doing good work."

"But?" Kai said.

"But nothing," Roman said.

Kai looked between us. Then he smiled. Just slightly. "Okay."

We kept eating.

After dinner we moved to the living room with the wine and the excessive desserts and the particular comfort of people who had known each other long enough that silence didn't need to be filled.

Except tonight the silence felt full of things nobody was saying.

Kai finally broke it.

"I need to ask you both something," he said.

I looked at him.

Roman looked at him.

"This thing between you," Kai said. "Is it real?"

Silence.

I looked at Roman.

He looked at me.

Then he looked at Kai and said: "Yes."

Kai nodded slowly. "How real?"

"I don't know yet," Roman said. "We're still figuring it out."

"But it's not just the arrangement anymore," Kai said.

"No," Roman said. "It's not."

Kai looked at me. "Lina?"

"It's real," I said quietly. "I don't know what it is yet. But it's real."

Kai was quiet for a long moment.

Then he said: "Okay."

"Okay?" I said.

"Okay," he said again. "I don't love it. I don't know how to hold it yet. But I trust both of you. And if you're both telling me it's real then—" he paused. "Then I'm going to try to be okay with it."

I felt something in my chest loosen.

"Thank you," I said.

Kai looked at Roman. "Don't hurt her."

"I won't," Roman said.

"I'm serious," Kai said. "You're my best friend. She's my sister. If this goes wrong I lose something either way. So don't hurt her."

"I won't," Roman said again. Quieter this time. Like a promise.

Kai looked between us one more time.

Then he picked up his wine. "More dessert?"

I left at ten.

Roman walked me to my bus stop even though Kai's apartment was nowhere near my bus route and it made no logistical sense.

We stood at the stop in the cool night air.

"That went better than I expected," I said.

"Yes," he said. "It did."

He's trying," I said.

"I know," Roman said. "That's more than I deserve."

"It's exactly what you deserve," I said.

He looked at me. "Lina."

"Yes?"

"I meant what I told him," he said. "I won't hurt you."

"I know," I said.

"Do you?"

"Yes," I said. "Because you're scared of hurting me. People who are scared of it usually don't do it."

The bus appeared in the distance.

"Goodnight, Roman," I said.

"Goodnight," he said.

I got on the bus.

He stood at the stop and watched until the bus turned the corner.