Im a fan

One

*WARNING*

"How i live"

"Kate!!!" A girl put her hand on my shoulder and i only ignore her.

"Heyy.. are you really gonna ignore me?" Suddenly i feel their hands tighten at my neck.

"Give us money." I coldly stare at them.

"Why?? Are you really trowing us death glare? Huh?" The girl with a gum said.

The leader slap me and the other girls laugh at me.

"Why? Are you brave!!??? Come on!" They laugh at me while bullying me.

I remove her hand on me and get my wallet

"Ohh.. you should give it to us kindly so you won't taste your own blood huh!" She said laughing.

I get 5 thousand in my wallet.

"Here!" I throw it to them that makes them more angry.

But money is money. They will prioritize collecting the money from the ground than waste their time at me. I stepped on the money while passing. I stop from walking and turn to them.

"Pathetic creatures. Just for money..." I coldly say before i continue to walk away.

I pass the corridor full of peoples. But why do i feel so empty. Like i am walking, living in a darkness. I can only see gray. No color. Why are they smiling? Why can't i feel happiness too?

I have everything but why do i feel like i have nothing?

After my class i went to my mansion.

After opening the door. A wind greeted me. No ones home as usual.

I headed to my room. Even my room is too big but too empty. I reach for a small drawer and get pills.

Sleeping pills.

Yeah.. i wanted to end my f*****g life.

I attempted to commit suicide many times. I have many wounds on my wrist. Countless time i open my eyes and im in a Hospital.

Why can't i just die? That's my only wish but why can't that wish happen. Only one wish but i can't even get.

I take the pills and lie down to sleep.

~~~~~

What's the difference of sleeping and death? Sleeping is a temporary death while death is forever death.

And i wish that i did not wake up from that temporary death.

Being dead are way better than living here. Death is not different from the way i live.

"Miss.. are you already awake?" I open my eyes and saw one of the maid. Are you worried?

No, she's not worried about me. She's worried that she might lose her job because of me.

"Obviously." I answer.

"Thank God! I thought your not going to wake up! Its already 2:00 PM" she answer.

I only stare at her. See? She's not worried at me but her job.

She leave my room after confirming that i am still breathing.

I almost sleep for 24 hours.

I even skip my class. But who cares.

I do my morning routine ahh.. its already noon.

I came down at the kitchen and saw nothing.

"No food?" I ask.

"Uhh.. sorry miss. Its already pass 12 so i thou----" i cut the maid off.

"Nevermind" i said.

She vanish real quick.

I cook my own food.

If i only have poison here, maybe i can end my life now.

I leave the house after eating and go to a therapist that im going almost of my life.

Even i wanted to end my life, my mom introduce me to this Doctor to help me ever since i started to talk less and try to kill my self. The doctor help me but not enough. Ugh.. maybe i don't really deserve to live.

I hate everyone.

I hate my self...... For being born.