Myne

twelve

Rain wasn’t sure what she was expecting. The book both frightened and enticed her at home. It had taken all she had to close her eyes, grab the book from the bed, stuff it into her backpack and only then open her eyes again, and rush over to the library. All along the walk, the same questions bounced around inside her head. What was she doing? What was she expecting? What the heck was going on with her? But most of all, why this book and why her?

She felt relieved, as she left the book in the returns’ basket. She walked away without looking back, disappearing behind the shelves, between the many, many books. And there, she was swept away into the strangest feeling. Where she should be feeling happy, serene, she was now feeling empty, like something was lost. The longer she was inside, in the library, the more discordant she felt. She had to get away. She grabbed a book, the first one that caught her interest. Though she wanted to leave the fastest she could, she was slow and hesitant, reluctant even, walking over to Gamble’s desk, walking over to the green book. She forced her eyes on straight, keeping as far from the returns’ basket as was possible. Got the book issued. And rushed out like she was being chased away.

Once outside, she felt an overwhelming sense of melancholy. It was sorrow in the truest, basest form. Felt like she had left behind something dear, something very near to her heart, something that should be on her person. She thought she’d feel better, with the book gone. Instead, she felt worse.

And then, there was the voices.

The first was female. Thin. Sharp. High. A needle stabbing through the ear, into the brain. “Good job darling. Very good. Leave. Run. Don’t look back. Don’t stop. Keep your legs warm. And stay on them. Keep going, darling.” It was egging her on. She didn’t know where to. She couldn’t know why. She wasn’t supposed to know just what was going on.

The other, was colder. Deeper. Impossible to distinguish, whether male or female, whether human on something else entirely. All that was clear, was that it was terrifying. Sent chills down her spine. Her throat was dry. And her head hurt, like it would if it was stuffed into a freezer. And then, the words were difficult to comprehend. It spoke many. She understood just one. “Found.”

There was only one place she could go. Home. A place that was supposed to feel safe. A place that was supposed to keep her safe. A place that was just hers, until her parents, until Emi, returned. She paused in front of the door. It was the same. Dark brown. The tall rings of the wood itself rather than the paint. Little else on the door than the peephole with the golden outer ring, and the numbers. 504. She grabbed the keys from her pocket. Held the right one to the door. Pushed it into the keyhole. And just as she was turning the key, clockwise, she froze. She could swear it was real. The cold breeze from inside, passing through the door, hitting her. How was that possible though? Air couldn’t pass through wood. Breeze couldn’t pass through the door. But even more importantly, breeze couldn’t be born inside the closed apartment.

No, she thought. She would have turned the kay the other way. Pulled out the keys. Ran down the hallway, to the lift, and out the building. Wouldn’t have mattered where to. Anywhere, but here. If only, it wasn’t for the voices.

“You’re here,” the first said. Sounding happy. Delighted. “You’re home.” She wasn’t even surprised when she suddenly say the girl’s face in her head, to go with the voice.

The other was no different. Just the one word that made sense. “Found.” Rest, an illegible garble. It was louder, though. Colder. Closer.

She felt cold claws digging into her chest, grabbing at all the stuff inside. And the voices, grabbed her. She had no control over herself. She did as the voices had her do. She turned the key fully. Felt the lock give way. Pushed the door open. Pulled the keys out. Walked in. Closed the door after her. Locked it. And walked to the middle of the hall. There was nothing there now. And there was nothing there, before. But the breeze was born here. There wasn’t a sliver of doubt.

What now? She was on her feet. In the hall. Facing the wall, the direction of her room.

“Come,” the first voice called. “You’re home. Come. It’s been so long.”

The other voice grew louder. Colder. A continuous crescendo. By the time she took the first step, the voices were both so loud, she felt like she was going deaf. Worsened still by the fact that she could do nothing. She took the first step toward the first voice, toward the girl calling out to her. She could almost see through the walls. The girl was on the bed. Under the gold net. In the golden glow. Smiling. Turned away from the window. Looking toward her. Waiting for her. So very happy to be finally meeting her. After having waiting for so long. And then, a few steps into the hallway, there was the second word in the other voice.

“Stop.”

Stop she did. Just froze where she was. The other voice fell quiet.

The girl’s smile was gone. The eyes went still, as if dead. The head slowly turned, like a screw screwing into a wall. Away from her. Back to the window. She followed the girl’s gaze, out the window, across the garden, across the lake, to the other side. Right to the darkness on the other side. She was dazzled. The darkness overtook her eyes, overwhelmed her sight, so all she could see was the darkness and nothing else. Right then, at that very moment, she wasn’t in the hallway of the apartment she called home with her parents. She was on the other side of the lake. She was alongside the darkness. She was where she belonged.

As if compelled by the silence from the darkness, she turned around. Her eyes flowed backward. Across the lake. Across the garden. Through the window. To the girl on the bed. She met the girl’s wide eyes. Returned the disbelief, with expressionlessness. And then, remained blind to the growing fury on the girl’s face.

“Come back,” the female voice said. Even though the girl’s lips were unmoved. “Come back,” the voice repeated. A loop, growing louder every time. The scream grew so loud, it destroyed the dream. Dragged her back to the hallway. Crushed her skull. Threw her off of her feet. Pressed her down to the floor. “Come back.”

It was the last thing she heard, before falling unconscious. She could barely form an answer in her head. Barely make the one word. Barely heard it inside her head, in her voice. In Rain’s voice. “No.”