Myne

twenty one

“Honey, mummy and daddy must go to work. We want to stay here, with you, with the both of you. But it is for you that we must go to work. You won’t blame us, will you?” Clara asked. 

Emi was standing, facing her mother who was kneeling. Their faces were at level. And the distance between them was invisible. Emi shook her head in reply. Of course not. She would never blame her parents. She knew they loved her. They wouldn’t lie. Definitely not about something like that. 

“Good girl,” Clara praised, kissing Emi. “We’ll finish our work quickly, and rush back the fastest we can. Until then, you be with Rain, alright? Don’t go anywhere. Don’t let anything happen. Don’t get into trouble. We need you safe and happy.” 

Emi nodded. That was enough for her mother and father. They left. It was just her and Rain then. 

Anon and Yuki didn’t have to go to office. They had their laptops with them. And their phones. And internet. They could work from here. They were sitting in the cafe downstairs, having a coffee and taking a call. A work call, they called it. They would return after it was over. They didn’t want to disturb Rain. 

Until they returned, it was just the two girls. Emi didn’t mind that. She squeezed onto the bed, by Rain’s side. She rolled onto her side. Facing the sleeping Rain. And lay looking. Admiring. Rain was so pretty. Rain would grow into a beautiful woman. She wanted to see that woman that Rain would grow into. She was smiling imagining it. 

And she must have dozed off. A noise woke her. It was the door opening. The hinges were silent. But that didn’t keep the door from swishing open every time. A small noise. But enough. She turned around. Opened her eyes. She was seeing hazy. And the bright light behind the door didn’t help. A tall shadow was standing in front of the light. She blinked, repeatedly, to clear her eyes. And they did, slowly. And as they did, she saw more. The shadow wasn’t a shadow after all, but a person. It was a woman. A tall woman. A beautiful woman. She knew, even though she couldn’t yet see the woman’s features. 

“Am I beautiful?” The woman asked. 

It was a voice that was familiar and also unfamiliar. A voice she knew well, but had changed. A lot. And that was why she was having such a hard time remembering it. 

“Yes,” she answered. “Very beautiful.” 

“As beautiful as you thought I would be?” 

“Yes,” she answered again, not understanding fully the question and the answer. “More. So much more.” Her hands were stretched out wide to show how much more. 

“Thank you,” the woman said. And stepped into the room, toward the bed. “I have something for you,” the woman whispered. And when the woman did so, the voice was so much more familiar. “A secret. You won’t tell anybody. Alright?” 

She nodded. “Yes. I won’t tell anybody. Promise.” 

That was what the woman wanted. “I know you won’t. I am who you know I am. But I am not who you think I am. Can you remember that?” 

She didn’t understand. But she could remember that. She nodded. “Yes. I can remember.” 

“Good. It is important. You must not forget. Not ever.” 

“I won’t.” 

*

Day four. 

Emi woke up, frantic. Disturbed. It was just a dream. She told herself as much. And she believed it. Yet, there was the ‘but’. And therein lay the problem. 

“What’s wrong?” Anon asked. He had always been a light sleeper. A habit he developed from growing up in residential schools, he said. Not all the schools he was at had been very good. His parents did the best they could. And more often than not, their best wasn’t nearly the best as far as everyone else was concerned. Anon learned to cope. He didn’t want to trouble his parents. He never complained. Even when he was targeted by bullies. He learned to figure things out by himself. He learned to look after himself. He learned to stand up to the bullies. Even make friends with the bullies. And, contrary to what most believed, there was a lot to be learned form the bullies too. Street smarts, the bullies called it. Anon was more than happy to pick up those skills that he couldn’t learn from formal education. Sleeping light was a necessity at first, then a habit, and then an advantageous skill. 

“Huh?” Emi said. Looked at Anon who was awake in his futon, lifting himself on his elbows and looking at her worriedly. “Sorry,” she apologised. She shouldn’t have disturbed him. Everyone needed all the rest they could get. “Just a dream. Nightmare, I guess. Not a very nice dream. Woke me. I must have been in too deep. Took me a minute to gather myself.” 

“Must have been some dream,” he said, with a smile. “Think you can get back to sleep? It is still early.” 

“I don’t think so. I’m quite awake now.” 

“Okay. Want to take a walk?” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. And I certainly don’t want to cut your sleep short.” 

“Don’t be. I’m a light sleeper. And I don’t need many hours of sleep either. I’m quite well, satisfied. I could surely use a walk. Helps clear my head. Got a lot bursting about inside.” 

“Okay.” 

They both got up, quietly. Ensuring they disturbed neither of the two still sleeping. Emi was the first to the door. And she paused. The door was the exact same, from the dream. Of course, it was the same hospital the had brought Rain to last time. And all the doors in the hospital were the exact same. Her father had joked about how the entire hospital was built by one person who was more a robot, because everything was symmetrical, everything was alike, mirror images. Still, she couldn’t shake off the idea, that this was the door in the dream. 

“What’s wrong?” Anon asked from behind her. 

“Nothing,” she said. Pushed the door open. Walked out. Held it open for Anon. And after he walked out too, thanking her along the way for being so chivalrous. She closed the door shut, before giving a smile. 

“So,” he said as they walked down the quiet hallway. “How are you? Really?” 

She didn’t answer until they were outside, in the courtyard, that was deserted at this time. The sun wasn’t up yet. The sky was more night than day. And the courtyard was alit in the warm light from the bulbs standing on short poles strategically placed across the courtyard so the smallest number lit up the entire courtyard. 

“I’m okay,” she said, smiling at him. “Really. How are you?” 

“Honestly, not very good. The last time we spoke, Johann said that we should be prepared. Dr Abrams. And that wasn’t very long ago. Two months ago, I think. Anyway, the point was that we hadn’t cracked the mystery. We couldn’t be sure we solved whatever was the cause. And that meant, it could happen again. We didn’t want to think about it. It still happened. Despite all the preparation, I guess I’m still not really okay.” 

“No amount of preparation will ever be enough, will it?” 

“I guess not. I didn’t think much of it, you know, when these lines came up in movies. Sure, they sounded cool. But that was it. And then, it happened to me. To us. And everything’s different. Isn’t it?” 

“What are you getting at?” 

They sat down on one of the stone benches in the courtyard. Facing the building they had just exited. The horizon, where the sun would rise above from, on their backs. 

He looked down at her. She was still growing. She was only sixteen. She would grow taller. Maybe taller than him. For now, she was shorter, by more than a head. And even sitting down, he looked down at her. 

“Nothing. I just thought I’d shred my thoughts with you. Think of it as me taking advantage of you, using you as a dumpster for my unwanted thoughts. Feel free to return the favour. Of course, be warned. I will use the parent card, if and when it becomes too much. Call it cheating, if that’ll make you feel better.” 

He laughed. He had a nice laugh. Yuki had always said that. It was one of his better traits, she said. And was one of the things that attracted her in the first place. Emi was no different. The four year old her said one day, out of nowhere, that he had a nice laugh. “The best kind of laugh,” she said. “I love it.” He was delighted. So much so, that he boasted a whole week. He was insufferable that whole week, and the two weeks after, when he was bathing in the glow from that first week. 

Emi heard his laugh. Turned, to look at it. Admired it still. After all these years, after seeing and hearing and experiencing many, many laughs, she still found his the best. Lifted her mood in a second. Even now. 

“Why were you talking with Dr Abrams?” She asked. 

“Why wouldn’t we?” He asked in reply. 

“I don’t know. She was fine, wasn’t she? Was there something, that prompted you to call Dr Abrams? Something I missed?” 

He didn’t answer immediately. “Do you think there could be something you missed?” 

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “We’re here, aren’t we? At the hospital. We’re sitting down here. She’s asleep up there. I didn’t see it coming. Didn’t even occur to me, as even a random thought. Must have missed something.” 

He put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her close. He was pretty much hugging her from the side. He kissed her head. And then spoke. “No, Emi, you didn’t miss anything. If you did, then so did we all. There’s absolutely no need for you to blame yourself. Even the smallest bit. It was Johann who called. He was studying, as always. Isn’t that what he keeps saying? A doctor is a student of medicine. And the student’s education never ends, not in medicine. He was studying something that reminded him of Rain. He’s not given up, even after so many years. He’s determined to find the answer. That’s why we spoke. He called. I answered. And we spoke about the only thing connecting us. Rain.” 

Emi nodded. She understood now. But that didn’t mean she was convinced. There was still something she was missing. Something important. 

And what was that dream about?