Scene of Eve

[ chapter 4 ]

I was back inside the van with Tiana while the rest of my team was packing up and receiving additional instructions from the director regarding the next styling that I would need. My thoughts were still all over the place. Tiana’s smirking didn’t even help to get my heart back to its normal pace. The van was crushing me, my bones wanting to curl in on themselves until I was nothing but a speck of dust. I felt suffocated because everything was just too much. The freedom - is that what it is, though? - was so overwhelming that my system rejected the warmth and left me in the cold. It rejected it knowing all too well that after that warmth, I would be back in the cold. My system would rather be in the cold rather than get a taste of it and end up missing it once it's gone.

“Hey, Ti?” I called my agent as she was getting in the van after settling things with the rest of my team. “A while ago, you said Ian was different. How different did you mean?” I was suddenly worried that the rumors were true. And if they were true? 

“Well. For one he’s more relaxed. And he smiles more. Or, actually no. He’s real. He’s genuine. The smiles are not fake,” Tiana clarified. 

I nodded slowly, letting her answer sink in. “So. The rumors?” I added in a whisper, scared that anybody else - Ian - would hear.

Tiana looked curiously at me first genuinely not understanding what I was asking. Then I saw how her composure changed. She understood. She knew of the rumors too, then. She started taking a deep breath and looked at me with a serene smile.

“Ian is not what the rumors say he is, Apple. He’s been through a lot even before starting a career.” I was appalled. I didn’t know how someone like her could hold so much emotion. 

“People misunderstood him. They found him too intense for their liking. They were intimidated by what he comes up with because he’s too genuine.” Just when I thought her mini outburst was done, Tiana grabbed my hand as if I would run away from her.

“And people in this industry can’t take that much genuinity.” She is right though. I can see Ian’s genuinity. And I am scared of that. So I do get what Tiana says that people misunderstand. Ian is not your typical celebrity in the field. 

“They can only take in a certain amount of it before they see how cruel they are in comparison to those who are genuine. They end up killing that because they’d rather not have it around if it’s not theirs. And Ian? He treats you differently because he sees you are genuine as well. I see you, Apple.” I suddenly feel a lump in my throat. In a span of a few days, Tiana has made her own little cot in my heart.

“I see how you love what you’re doing. You have a certain intensity as well and Ian sees that.” And I’m loving it even more because of the people around me. 

“Even just a day into the shoot, because you exude genuinity that Ian wishes to see from others, he treats you differently. He understands you. You understand him. And I’m happy that he’s supporting you because I, as your agent, wishes so much more for you. You deserve this.” Tiana reached for my hand and closed hers around mine. Her cheeks were flushed from her talk and her eyes were teary.

Genuine? Me? 

“You’re genuine too, Ti. I never expected this much support from you. I may not have had an agent before. But I know this level of care isn’t what agents do. Thank you, Tiana. You don’t know how you all help me with the nerves.” I couldn’t help it. Tears streamed down my face. Tiana’s giggles and her warm fingers cupping my cheeks and wiping the tears away kept me from breaking further. 

Someone cleared his throat causing Tiana to jump with a scare only to be met with Ian’s gentle smile and his whispered apology.

“Am I interrupting some girl talk? Should I come back in a few minutes?” Ian pointed at his van with his thumb as he asked, eyes on Tiana, giving me the privacy that I needed to calm my emotions down.

“No. No. I was just- I was just about to call Nessa and Hazel. Yeah. Let me do that now.” Tiana excused herself and ran towards the other girls. A wink my way as she patted her seat to let Ian in the van.

“You girls okay?” Ian asked as he sat where Tiana was seconds ago. A different warmth enveloped me after Tiana’s warmth left my hand. 

“Yeah. Just got emotional. I didn’t know how it was like to have a team.” My eyes were on Tiana and the other two pulled on her arms as they giggled when their eyes met mine. Those girls, really. If only I can whack some sense into their brains.

“Tiana is a total mom. The perfect agent, really. But companies don’t take her seriously. Says she’s too emotionally attached.” Ian’s eyes traveled to Tiana for a second before looking back at me , or rather look back at my temple because I refused to look at him.

“No wonder the girls all call her ‘Momma Tats ’.” I giggled as I remembered how Nessa called out for Tiana when we were about to pack up after our scene under the bridge.

There was a moment of comfortable silence. Ian staring out at the road ahead, admiring the abandoned road lit barely but still beautiful. My eyes trace his dim silhouette. Without realizing it was his lips I was already staring at, he smiled lightly. 

“Anything on my lip?” Ian asked as he licked at his lips. I shook my head as I stared up at him in surprise. 

“No. Sorry. I was just-” I was cut mid-sentence as Ian called out to Mike. “Mike! Could I ride with Apple? We need to talk about the next scenes.” 

Mike nodded and signaled for Tiana’s approval as well. She raised an ‘okay’ sign as the girls beside her started laughing and hitting each other.

“Cool,”  Ian said in a hushed voice as he moved to sit beside me at the back. I move towards the window to give him, and me, enough space at the back. He sat and moved closer to me, my face turned towards the window in embarrassment. 

Tiana and the girls all did a good job at keeping themselves busy. Not a turn of the head my way. The only attention I got from one of them was when Nessa reached back to offer some refresher they bought at our first stop.  Ian noticed how the girls behaved and laughed, the girls feigning sleep. I was not exactly uncomfortable. I just did not know what to say. Ian had so many ideas and stories to share. I couldn’t imagine myself cutting him off because of the look in his eyes as he talks. I can’t pinpoint the right emotion he has. All I knew was that his story was too perfect for my intervention. 

My head down as I fiddled with my sweater, I lull to Ian’s voice talking about the ocean. I drifted into a peaceful nap with the seagulls in the background flying higher with Ian in my dreams. 

___

“I am sorry for falling asleep on you. Your arm must be numb,” I said as Ian and I walked towards the tent prepped for lunch. He was chuckling and flexing his arms, pretending to try and see if he felt anything. 

“You’re gonna have to feed me, Apple. I can’t even raise a finger.” He looked at me with a pout, , his shoulders brushing mine as he continued to whine. 

“You can’t raise a finger but you’re flexing your muscles just fine, mister.” I laughed at his antics. That side of Ian was such an easy company. It was so different from the Ian that I was working with. So different from the Ian who would ask for my opinion and inputs regularly. It was such a chill and relaxed vibe. Like he had no worries. His eyes were clear of anything. A clear window to that kid inside of him that I see he had been trapping for too long. Just like I did - still do.

“It’s good seeing you two getting along better. So the beach would be more of a fun shoot, ey?” Joey patted us both in the back before walking ahead of us and calling for Mike and Tiana to sit with him. 

Entering the tent, I see Nessa and Hazel already at a table and waving for me. But they stopped hailing for me wildly after seeing Ian beside me.

“Seems like your girls don’t want you sitting with them? Told you you’re going to have to feed me.” Ian bumped his shoulder against mine again and gently pulled on my wrist as he led me to the line. 

We sat at a four-seater table in a corner but no one sat with us. No one even shot us a look. It was like we were invisible to everyone. Funny though, especially in Ian’s case because he was the main star there. 

___

After lunch, I headed out alone towards the beach while Ian talked to the director and his team. Sitting by the shore, my thoughts all came back and nagged at her. 

What was Xander’s deal? Friendly as he was, I felt uncomfortable around him. Among the other guys back at the bridge, he was the one who mostly had the guts to really get close to me. The others remained a respectable distance but still made small talk. Xander, on the other hand? His questions made me uncomfortable. Like he was insinuating something about Ian. 

Tiana was also one I didn’t understand when it came to Xander. It was like everyone knew what was happening behind the camera while I was stuck seeing what was on screen. Was it some industry inside joke that I should already know? Was it my fault that even if I had been in the industry, I was still as clueless as to how it really worked?  I couldn’t even ask Tiana. She was being vague as well. All I was told was that I should keep a distance from Xander. 

But out of everyone I had met, it seemed like Xander would be the only one who could give me real answers. At that point, I didn’t care much about the warning signs that everyone seemed to shove up my face when Xander was around. I just wanted answers. And if getting answers were the last thing I see before my life ends, I would risk it. Because only Xander seemed to know Ian more than anyone else. Ian’s crew seemed to be keeping a professional set-up around him. Around me. It was like they were walking on eggshells, unlike Xander. Xander who, I assume, was the one who cracked the eggshells in the first place and now everyone is on edge. 

I may be uncomfortable around Xander, but  I would give anything to have a minute with him. I wanted to understand why everyone seems to brush him off. If he did something wrong, why then did Ian have him tag along? 

Still stuck on Xander, I jumped in surprise as Ian sat beside me.

“Hey. Sorry, the meeting took too long. I thought Tiana or the other girls would be here with you.” His feet dug in the sand and slowly closed the distance with my own foot. He teasingly buried my foot under the warm sand.

“Hey!,” I chuckled before pushing him gently as my foot wiggled under the sand. “The girls seemed tired so I didn’t bother them.” My eyes were focused on the sun, nearly setting. I wanted to ask at least what was the deal with Xander. Why was everyone careful when he’s around? But I just bit my tongue. It was not my place to meddle with Ian’s personal matters. I had already done enough meddling with his project. I should have kept it at that. If Tiana warned me to keep a distance, then I would Either way, I didn’t have to worry about that anymore. Even if Ian thought of other scenes to include his team, I was pretty sure Xander would not be around anymore. And why should I even care?

“Are you two lovebirds ready?” We heard the director behind us on his megaphone as he gave one last call to the staff to clear the area up. Ian looked back and raised a thumb up before offering to help me stand.

“We’ll just have to walk hand-in-hand. I loved your idea of sunsets, and since we couldn't use that for the bridge scene, I decided to have it here instead. That's ok with you?” Ian asked as we dusted our bottoms with the sand. I nodded and smiled up at him as he held my hand once again.

“...and we’re shooting in 3, 2, 1, ACTION!”

It was a comfortable silence as both Ian and I appreciated the sunset. No words were exchanged. Just stares and smiles. My previous thoughts were all forgotten and the only thing occupying my thoughts was the warmth in Ian’s touch. His eyes seemed to tell stories too as he looked across the horizon. Stories that he had trapped inside for whatever reason. And even if I wanted to break that window open, I’d rather keep the silence. The good kind of peace. Though I didn’t know what exactly I was feeling, I want to keep it that way. Maybe I was a coward for not wanting the answers. But if Ian preferred looking forward than back, then who was I to tell him not to? I should just look forward to it as well. Looking back would just drag me back down to that life of not knowing who I really am. 

Suddenly I felt my feet off the ground and I was met with a reverse view of the ocean and the horizon. 

“You do know what the beach is for, right?” Ian said as he kept me up on his shoulders. I was momentarily distracted by how his arm and shoulder could hold my weight so steadily. But panic started settling in me as the tips of my hair started getting wet and my flailing arms touched cold water. 

“Ian put me down. Oh my God!” My feet were kicking the air as he walked deeper. “I don’t know how to swim!” I flushed in embarrassment at my sudden confession. But at least that got him to stop walking further and bring me back down. 

“You’re okay.” Ian’s voice was gentle as he cupped my face, my eyes opening to see his apologetic eyes. I wanted to lash out at him but I couldn’t bring myself to. One, we were still shooting. Two, I just couldn’t. Not with how he was looking at me. Instead, I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck as I booped his nose with mine.

“I just have this trauma with water so I couldn’t even learn. I’m sorry if I’m ruining this scene.” He chuckled as he pulled me closer, his hands rubbing my back, soothing my worries. 

“Hey, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t ask if you were okay with this. I’m sorry.” I nodded to accept his apology and was about to tell him that I’m fine but instead I get a different urge.

Without asking for permission, I tiptoed with my hands on his shoulders, I placed a soft kiss on his lips instead. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-” Ian’s lips were back on mine in an instant, my breath knocked off my lungs. My fingers found purchase on his long black locks that were mildly wet and he deepened the kiss. 

We both pulled away to catch our breaths only to have our lips crashed against each other with more want than before. I vaguely heard Nessa and Hazel somewhere far on the shore and their giggles. Seeing my distraction, Ian’s lips were kissing more fervently now. Gasping into the kiss, Ian lifted me in his arms.

“Hold me tight?” His arms around me were secure, not giving me any space to doubt my safety. I wrapped my hands back on his neck as his lips were back on mine. Gently, he lowered us into the ocean. Feeling the water rise up along with my panic, I gently pulled on Ian’s locks. His lips did not leave mine as our heads went fully under, but his kisses were enough to keep me breathing the breath he had. Slowly, my panic is replaced with the thought of Ian kissing me away from everyone else. Away from the camera. Away from the scene.

We got back by the shore and shot some walking scenes. We didn’t have time to really talk about what happened. My thoughts were muddled but I couldn’t get distracted. The day is not yet over. I still had a role to play. 

The director decided to shoot one last scene for the day. 

“It’s getting dark already to shoot anything else. Besides we got enough shots. Anything in mind Ian? Apple?” The director looked to Ian and me, his eyes expectant.

“Me?” My eyes opened widely and my mouth refused to close, not knowing what to answer back. 

“Actually, Apple gave me an idea how to end today.” Ian smiled as he looked at me. “Since we’re both tired from all the walking, we could just sit by the shore. Let’s end with the two of us watching the sunset on the horizon.”

Ian looked to me for approval and I nodded without a second thought. I would probably say the same if I wasn’t so dumbfounded every time I was asked for my opinions. 

Now that we were sitting, our feet buried in the sand like before, I could feel the tiredness on my legs. Ian noticed how I gently massaged my calf for a minute. He turned his body to face me as he motioned for me to stretch my legs on his lap. The cameras were still rolling so I had to keep playing the part as if what Ian suggested was a natural occurrence. Although a little awkward, I stretched my legs on his lap and his fingers started massaging gently. I wanted to look away but the director shouting at how we should keep eye contact made me keep my eyes on Ian’s. His fingers were really soothing the little ache I felt on my muscles.

“Don’t even dare,” I whispered as Ian’s eyes turned mischievous. His fingers slid to my toes and started pulling on them gently. Holding my ankles in place, he started his tickling, hidden in an attempt at massaging. 

We both end up lying down as our laughs die down. Ian’s arm on my head as a pillow. Following my instinct, I wound my arms around him as I moved my head on his chest. His arms hugged me tight and close as his lips murmured sweet nothings on my head.

“Thank you for today, Apple,” Ian whispered.

“Thank you for giving me a chance.” I stared up at him and smiled before returning to my original position. My head tucked under his jaw and my arms around him.

I knew we were still playing a part but I could not stop the exhaustion as it caught up to me. Lying with Ian was just so comfortable, his calm breathing matching with mine. My eyes fluttered shut and before I knew it, I was asleep under the stars, safe in Ian’s arms.

“Goodnight, Apple.”