My stalker

Chapter 17

“As a friend”, I answered truthfully and she nodded in understanding. Well f**k, this has been bugging me for weeks now. In the beginning I just thought it was normal. I was still learning to trust him and we were still getting to know each other but it’s been almost 4 months…

I care for him, really do but I can’t change how I feel. I feel more like friends than lovers when I’m with him, I don’t feel the tingles in my stomach whenever he would pick me up for a date, I don’t feel the passion whenever we would make out and most importantly he doesn’t have me addicted to him and his games. Not like he does.

Goddammit

“Let’s just get you drunk for the evening and we’ll figure something out tomorrow”, Sophia said handing me my jacket and my bag. Right, maybe I need that.

“Thanks”, I told her and she gave me a sweet smile. “What are friends for”

“We better leave, Sarah wanted us to come early and we’re already late”, Sophia added and we made our way out the house, locking the door behind us. Sarah and her brother were giving a bonfire tonight, most of our friends coming.

When we arrived, we already saw cars parked in the driveway. Ringing the doorbell, we both waited until the door opened, showing Sarah already with a beer in her hand.

“You already started?” Sophia pouted, motioning to the beer.

“Yeah, so you better catch up”, she told Sophia before turning to me with a stern expression “Not you tho, you suck at drinking”.

“Gee, thanks”, I shook my head at her and the three of us made our way inside. I’ve been at Sarah’s place before and it’s nothing to big but it’s very cosy, very homey. We walked up to the kitchen, stopping when we heard talking.

 “You know you can’t keep playing her like that right?” I heard Matthew say, his voice pretty serious. We stood at the doorway as the guys stood with their backs to us.

“She doesn’t know so what’s the problem?” Oliver answered back, his shoulder looking pretty tense.

“That is exactly the problem”, Matthew said, a bit louder this time.

“Guys”, Sarah said, the guys attention turning to us. The immediately started smiling, acting like we didn’t just hear what they said. I’d hoped Sarah had waited a little longer though...

“What’s up girls, you want some beer?” Matthew asked and held two out for us.

“Thanks”, Sophia and I said as the room went into an awkward silence.

“Allright, we’ll be outside”, Sarah said, Sophia and I following her out.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Sophia said looking back at me.

“Not sure”, I answered before Sarah spoke up “If he is your little stalker, then he just got majorly caught”

I nodded and couldn’t help but notice the hurt on Sophia’s face. It was barely there and even though she was good at hiding it, I could see it.

I’m really gonna kick his ass if it turn out to be him. I like him, sure but I wouldn’t do that to Sophia.

“Finally”, Ethan said coming our way. I looked behind him to see already around 15 people sitting there, mostly guys though.

“What’s up Ethan?” I smiled at him as he threw his arms around me and Sophia.

“I’ve been waiting for some better company”, he said dramatically, pushing his feet of the ground and hanging all his weight on me and Sophia. He drank already enough I see.

“Ethan”, Sophia whined, barely holding him up.

“And I’ve been waiting to be able to say this for quite a while now”, he ignored her comment and calmly put his feet back on the ground.

“Waiting to say what?” Sarah asked.

“That Jason’s looking like an absolute snack tonight” Yeah, no more wine for Ethan.

“Let’s just go and sit down before you decide to go all monkey on us again”, Sophia said making Sarah and I chuckle.

We walked up to the fire and sat a few feet away from it, enjoying the warmth.

“Damn, I really needed this”, Sarah threw out, her eyes calmly closing. She was right about that.

“Same”, I said and took a few sips from the beer.

“She finally admitted it”, Sophia spoke, looking from Sarah to Ethan.

“Huh, what?” I asked. What don’t I know?

“Really?” Ethan eyes went big as he looked at me.

“Was about damn time”, Sarah agreed. What the f**k.

I looked at them confused and Ethan spoke up “You and Liam”.

“Oh, that”, I said looking down. I came her to forget, not to be reminded…

“I’m gonna get something stronger”, I said standing up and making my way back inside.

This really sucks major balls. I pushed the door open, accidentally almost slamming it in someone’s face.

“Wow there missy, I know you’re a big fan of me but you have a boyfriend, remember?” Adam looked at me with an amused expression. Yeah, don’t remind me…

“And you a girlfriend, remember?” I said back watching him grow uneasy. He really needs to fix whatever is going on with Michelle.

“What are you doing here anyway? Were you invited?” I asked when he’d stayed quiet.

“Oh no, I had to speak to Matthew about something”, he said and I nodded.

“I guess I’ll see you later then?” I asked.

“You bet”, he said ruffling my hair and walking away with a big smile on his face.

Now, as I had initially planned. Where are the drinks?

“Looking for these”, I turned and saw Jason sitting on the kitchen table holding up a bottle of liquor while staring out the window.

“You mind sharing?” I sat beside him and he handed me the bottle. I put the bottle to my lips and felt the drink immediately burn my throat. Yeah, this’ll do.

“So what’s your excuse?” he asked, keeping his gaze still outside.

“For hiding inside?” he nodded and I handed him the bottle before answering “It’s just s**t with Liam but I don’t wanna bore you”.

“Try me, if it gets too boring I’ll let you know” Brutally honest as always…

“It’s just that I’m not sure about how I feel”, I explained, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap.

“You’re not in love with him”, he stated and I sighed “Is it that obvious?”.

“To be honest, he doesn’t really seem like your type”

“How’s that?”

“He’s too safe for you. You’re one of those girls who needs a challenge”, he said, making me chuckle with the last part. Think Jason just indirectly called me basic.

“So what do I do?” I asked, hoping he’d share some more of his wisdom.

“You do what’s right and talk to him about it”, he turned to me and I knew he was right. I have to talk to him.

“You’re full of surprises”, I stated, drinking the last of the bottle.

“I’m just a good observer”, he explained while shrugging.

“Thanks Jason”, I said sincerely. He might act like he doesn’t care but he just helped me out a lot.

“I’m just doing myself a favor. I’ve had enough of seeing him putting his tongue down your throat”, he casually said. I slapped his arm softly and he let out a chuckle, looking at me with a smile that made his eyes sparkle. Holy f**k. I normally hate it when people say cheesy s**t like ‘you look better when you smile’ but damn he does… It makes the brown in his eyes really shine.

“How about you though?” I asked, redirecting my focus and he raised a confused eyebrow at me.

“Why are you still inside?” I clarified.

“Well Matthew is playing host, Sarah’s already pretty drunk, Blake and Eric are discussing the importance of veganism and Daniel is out with Tilly. That leaves not too many people I find tolerable”, he said.

“So that means you find me tolerable?” I looked at him, flashing my teeth with a big hopeful smile.

He shook his head lightly and put his hand on my shoulder. “Tolerable enough”, he admitted and I was happy enough with that.

“You wanna have a few more drinks with me before I go to Liam?” I asked, praying he would.

“Sure”, he shrugged and opened two beers, handing one to me.

After a few more beers I had finally mustered the courage to confront Liam. I had asked Jason to tell the rest I left and he nodded, giving me a small ‘good luck’ before going outside. Sitting in the cap, I felt my heart booming out of my chest as we drove up to his house. I’m not necessarily scared of the breakup itself but of his reaction. I really don’t want to hurt him.

“Thank you”, I told the taxi driver after I had payed him and I slowly made my way to the front door. Come on, don’t be a p***y. Just be honest with him, he deserves that.

I hesitantly pushed the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door. A minute passed and I was greeted with Liam himself.

“Ella? What are you doing here, is everything alright?” he asked worried and I felt bad again. He’s such a good person, I really don’t want to lose him.

“I just need you to listen to me for a second” I let out a big breath, bracing myself for what came next.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I really don’t want to hurt you and I really hate to this. I’m not even sure how I-“ I stopped myself. This really isn’t getting me somewhere.

“f**k”, I muttered. Why can’t I say it?

“Let’s break up”, I looked up at him confused as he said it.

“That’s what you wanted to say right?” he spoke, still a normal expression on his face. He didn’t look angry, sad or anything like that.

“How did you know?”

“Because I know how I feel and I was pretty sure you felt it too” So he’s not feeling this either.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was waiting for you to”, he said and I let out another big sigh. He wanted me to break up with him…

“Neither of us can force something that isn’t there”, he said, lightly smiling at me.

“I do really care about you”, I admitted, feeling sad. We were still together for 4 months…

“So do I but we both know we work better as friends”, he said and I felt slightly relieved.

“You’re really an amazing person”

“I hope amazing enough to still be your friend?” he asked, both of us smiling wildly at each other.

“Are you kidding me? Of course”, I answered and we both laughed. I knew we worked better this way.

“So friend, since you’re here. You wanna come in and watch a movie?” he smiled at me and stepped aside, gesturing for me to get in.

“Gladly friend”