Before I Sleep

Chapter 9 Dealing With It

After feeling so horrible for so long, today was actually a good day. I had two appointments. One was my prenatal and the other for my HIV. I kept having this dry cough and it would even hurt worse when I did cough. Yesterday I spent the whole day having problems with diarrhea. And taking pedialyte so I wouldn't get dehydrated, was all I could do. I wanted to feel better and enjoy my pregnancy. But how can I, there was still a chance my baby would have the virus. I am hoping it doesn't. After my prenatal appointment it was time for my other appointment. As I walked into Dr Rodriguez's office, I had a sudden urged to vomit. I ran to the bathroom in the hall. Barely making it there, after spilling everything from my stomach I splashed water on my face. I pressed the button for a nurse to come to the restroom. Once she arrived I told her I needed to clean the restroom since I have HIV. She nodded her head and called a maintainence person. They looked like they were about to go to space. She had on double gloves on and even a face shield feeling embarrassed I apologized to both of them and walked out. Once I was called back my pressure was taken and weight and well as blood samples. The doctor walked in and he seemed to be worried. I asked to just tell me what's wrong. He started to say how sorry he was, but it seemed as if I didn't just have HIV but I had full blown Aids. I asked him about the risk my baby was in. He said we would keep monitoring me closely. I didn't know what to feel. All I kept thinking was how unfair was it that my unborn child can possibly be born with the virus and how his or her life would be. I have regretted ever going to that concert, since it happened. I wish I can push a button and restart that day. I would've told Teresa no. But what if he would've done this to her instead. Was this his plan all along? Did he know he had it? I couldn't stop with all the questions. I needed to talk to Bobby and Teresa. So I decided to head over to their house. Once I arrived I couldn't help not feel all the knots in my stomach. Bobby was outside washing his truck. I swear this guy washes his truck everyday. Hahahaha. He never can go a day with out washing it. As I started walking up their driveway, he notices me and stops washing his truck and walks up to me. Asking how I been I told him I needed to have a serious talk with him and Teresa. He just nodded his head and we walked inside. Once Teresa came into the living room, I decided to just tell them what happened. I told them from the moment he grabbed me into the tent and skipped over some of the horrific parts. To finding out I was pregnant to having Aids. And how my baby can have it but I'm on a set of medications to reduce that risk. They were speechless. I can see the crocodile tears rolling down Teresa's face and Bobby looked like he wanted to kill Jason. But he himself didn't even know where he was at. He had disappeared into thin air after that night. He apologized to me over and over again. What I didn't expect from them was to hug me. I guess some would react like my mom. She hasn't once called me or came by. Its sad to say my dad Charlie has dropped off goodies bags of my favorite foods and even books from authors I love. He told my dad Eric that he didn't want to bother me, so he would just leave it to him and go home. I texted him and thanked him. We planned for a lunch date tomorrow. He wants to see how im doing. I'll ask him how my mom is so far she hasn't called or returned any of texts from me.