Grim

Chapter 3

I thought things were hard before, but now it will be really hard. I don’t even know how I would manage this.

I quickly retrieved a pen and paper out of one of the drawers in the kitchen and began doing the math. I had to make three grand a month for the medication, and if I need to make forty grand in the next five years, I’d have to make an additional six hundred a month, give or take. It was possible. I just need to make the monthly payments. Why did it sound so easy? I knew it wouldn’t be. I was lucky to make enough money for rent, with just my waitress job and the meager cash I got from selling my paintings. I didn’t even factor in my rent, utilities and groceries.

My head was aching already. Let’s see, rent and utilities were six hundred and seventy five dollars and I tried to spend no more than fifty bucks a month on groceries. I had my work cut out for me.

I was supposed to be off today, but there was no way I could just sit around. I couldn’t afford to. I had a staggering amount of money to make. Reaching back into the drawer I got out three envelopes and scribbled on them. One labeled Ana’s medication, the other Ana’s surgery and the last, bills and groceries. This was the only way I could keep all the money in order. I didn’t have a bank account, this was just how my mother always kept the money. It was simplistic. Although, if someone were to break into my apartment… that money would be gone. I would need to find a place to keep these envelopes. I’ll save that for later, for now I just put them in the kitchen drawer.

There was no time to waste. Immediately I went back to the phone and dialed the phone number for my work. It rang a few times, before the sound of my manager answered, in his usual annoyed tone. But the mention of me offering to come in to work today made him joyous. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so grateful and I especially never heard him thank any of his employees. So it was a bit of a shock when he did thank me.

Apparently a few girls had called off for their shift this morning, leaving the diner pretty short staffed. It was a common occurrence at the diner. Eddie, my manager, always hired young girls, mostly ones that were just working there part-time, while they attended the Boswell community college. They weren’t reliable and called off often, but Eddie never turned them down. He was usually a pretty sour guy, but he had a good heart. In many ways he reminded me of my father.

It didn’t take long for me to get ready, I quickly dashed out of the kitchen and back to my bedroom, retrieving the usual outfit I would wear to work. It was the nicest pair of clothes I had. The only pair of jeans I owned that weren't stained or had holes in it and a t-shirt with the diner’s logo on the front. I brushed my hair back the best I could manage into a ponytail. My hair was getting really long, and even when it was pulled up like this, it reached to the middle of my back. When I make the trip to visit home, I would ask my mother to cut it.

There was some knocking now at my door. I ignored it while I continued getting ready. I grabbed my purse from the living room, double checked that the keys for my scooter were still in there and my wallet. The knocking got louder and an impatient sigh could be heard from outside the door. I had a feeling, this was Tina, the landlord of this building. Probably here to receive the rent that I failed to give her on time this month. Quickly I divided out the money I owed her from the large stack of bills that Erik gave me. The rest, I just put into my wallet. I would keep this money on me, until I find a hiding place for it in the apartment.

“I know you are in there, Miss Parker,” I heard her call out on the other side of the door. She sounded irritated, although that’s how she usually was with me. I couldn’t blame her, I haven’t exactly been the best tenant with my payments. I was fortunate on many occasions that she didn’t evict me. But I knew her patience was just about up with me.

Taking a deep breath, I moved to open the door. With some force, I smiled widely at her. “Oh, good morning Tina, what brings you here?” I played dumb.

Tina was a middle-aged woman, going through her second divorce at this time. She was really short, almost a full foot shorter than me. Her peach colored hair was always pulled up into a tight bun on the top of her head, but a few strands were always left out around her slightly wrinkled face. Her brown eyes leered at me from behind her bifocals. Her outfits were always expensive-looking, flashy and vibrant. There were rings on every finger, and fine jewelry clung to both wrists and around her neck. She was wealthy and wanted the world to know it.

“I don’t suppose you have rent for me?” She shifted her hips as she folded her arms across her chest. I could see the anger growing in her features. She had a short fuse, quick to jump to conclusions and very honest. If she had something rude to say, she didn’t hold it back.

“Actually I do, I was just on my way to drop it off.” I held a smile on my face as I held the cash out to her.

She ripped the cash from my hands and counted it out a few times, before narrowing her eyes at me. “This is the third month in a row that rent has been late. I understand this is a difficult city to make money in and you have a lot of personal things going on back home, but this isn’t acceptable. You have to learn to prioritize yourself better.”

I knew this was coming. Almost every time I communicated with this woman, she would chew me out. But like I said, I didn’t blame her.

“I understand, I will do better from now on.”

My words didn’t seem to affect her. “I’ve heard that from you before. I’ve been understanding of your situation for a while now, but at the end of the day, you are putting my finances at risk. If you don’t pay me on time, that means I can’t pay my bills on time. So, from now on, if you are going to make late payments, I’m going to start charging an extra fifty dollars, for every day it’s late.”

Ouch. She must be really pissed today. I’m not sure what she was going through, other than the divorce, but it was clear that she wasn’t putting up with anyone’s crap today.

“I hear you loud and clear, you won’t have any more issues from me.” I nodded, letting my fake smile slide from my face. I know longer had the energy to hide my distaste.

“For your sake, I hope so,” She now glanced at my outfit, unimpressed. “Heading to work on your day off?”

Of course the old hag knew my work schedule, she put her nose in everyone’s business. I guess that comes with the job of being the landlord. But that didn’t mean that I appreciated it.

“Yeah, I need the money.”

She rolled her eyes openly. “Clearly, well at least you are putting in some effort.” Turning on her heels she began to walk down the hallway.

As soon as she was out of sight, I let out an annoyed sigh. Now that she wasted up some of my time I would have to rush. I locked my apartment door and went in the opposite direction. It appeared that she was heading to more apartments on my floor, probably to give them the same speech she just gave me.

The hallway had an odd smell, I never could determine what it was and the wooden floors were always sticky. Even now I could hear my sneakers stick with each step. Just like my apartment, the rest of the building was very dated. The wallpaper was dark and old, not in the best condition. There were odd stains and a few distinct holes in the walls, created from tenants of the past, with clear anger issues.

In my opinion this place was a dump, which was why this place was the cheapest option for housing. Which meant, there were a lot of undesirable people living here. It wasn’t the safest place to live, but it was a roof over my head. It would have to do for the time being. I didn’t have any options and I probably never would.

After a sharp turn to the left, I made it to the stairs. I was on the third floor, so I had a bit of a walk to go, before I reached the parking lot. The stairs were a bit of a risk at times as well. There were a few broken steps to watch out for, but after a year of climbing them I knew the best route. It only took me a minute or so to reach the bottom.

I waved to Pete, the elderly man that sat behind the desk in the lobby. He was there every day, bright and early. Tina hired him a few months back, to watch the door and answer the phones. He also was appointed our on site security. He was very kind. I often stopped to chat with him, but I was in a hurry today.

“Have a good morning Valerie.” He responded with a wave as well. His smile was warm and inviting. I instantly felt guilty for not taking time to stop and talk with him. Maybe I’d bring him a little treat from the diner when I got back.

Out into the parking lot I headed for my scooter. It was probably the worst looking vehicle in the lot. But it got the job done… most of the time. It’s as reliable as a junk yard scooter could be.

I called her, old blue - although it was hard to tell if the scooter was blue or green, the paint had faded pretty badly. The mirrors were just taped onto the handles with duct tape. But when I turned it on, it sparked to life in a few delayed seconds. What more could I ask for?

The diner wasn’t too far away, only a few blocks, I could easily walk the distance, but driving was much quicker and safer. Walking the streets of Boswell was a risk. Thieves lined the streets at all hours of the day and night, especially in the part of the city I was traveling in.

The traffic was terrible, as it usually was on an early Monday morning. Cars were blowing past me, honking their horns like wild idiots. The wind was blowing in my face as I tried to focus on the lanes of traffic. Hundreds of people were out today, walking down the streets. Large crowds all collected by the crosswalks, waiting for the light to change, so they could walk across the roads. Most people were in casual clothing or business attire. Men holding briefcases and women in pretty dresses. I stood out from the crowds, but I didn’t let it bother me. I was comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t need to change myself to fit in here. This city would not become my permanent home.

Once I passed Liberty park, I was only seconds from pulling into the diner. I took one fast sweep of the park. A few people jogging and a few people walking their dogs. The park was a bit more empty than usual. Maybe I could take my lunch break there for the day. Dale’s Diner was half a block from the park, which was an easy enough walk.

I pulled into the parking lot of the diner, taking note of all the cars parked here. It was the breakfast rush, and looked to be busier than ever. My stomach tightened in a knot of anxiety as I turned the scooter off. Already, I was regretting that choice to come in. This was going to be hell. It’s not that I hated my job… but I could think of a million better things I could be doing. My stress levels were climbing with each step closer to the doors. People were beginning to form a line nearly out in the parking lot. Now I understood why Eddie was so thankful. They were drowning.

Inside the building was loud, everyone in line was chatting, some in decent moods and others looking impatient. Kids were running around, screaming and messing around. With the sheer number of people the heat was drastically higher here than outside. I could already feel myself start to sweat.

Eddie met me at the doors as I walked inside, he handed me all my gear hastily. His face was drenched in sweat and his hands trembled. “I have to get back in the kitchen, it’s just you and two other girls until noon, so get moving.” He gave me a thumbs up and a weak grin. He was already exhausted and the diner had only been open for about two hours.

“Yes sir,” I nodded.

I wasn’t unfamiliar with hard work. I was raised on a farm. I’ve worked under the blazing sun for hours. I did it all, mowing, planting crops, tending the animals. But working in the city was a whole new experience. It wasn’t the physical work that was strenuous, it was dealing with the public. I could be the best waitress here, fast, dependable and precise, but that didn’t matter if my social skills were lacking. It took me a really long time to get the hang of customer service. I suffered with pretty crappy tips, until I learned the tricks to good waitressing.

Smile. Compliment them. Build up rapport. Make them feel welcome and if they make their requests known, make them feel they are a priority. As long as I did that, I would make decent tips.

So that’s what I did. I kept up the pace and worked my ass off to keep these patrons happy. I was bubbly, charming and even cracked some old cheesy jokes for the old timers that stopped in. I took orders, refilled drinks and when families with kids were seated in my sections, I passed out crayons and things to color on. When everything in my section was running smoothly, I helped out the other girls as best as I could. We had excellent teamwork, at least with one girl it was alright.

She was relatively new here and this had been her first breakfast rush. She continuously ran to me with questions and concerns. But with a bit of guidance, she was beginning to get a handle on things. I couldn’t recall her name, even though she had reminded me of it a few times today so far.

The opposite could be said for the other girl. I didn’t know her name either, but she had been working here since before I started. She fell behind a bit, but refused any help from either of us. In fact, it only seemed to offend her when help was offered. She was probably close to her forties and usually was late coming in to work. She took a lot of smoke breaks. But Eddie never reprimanded her. At times, I’ve heard others whispering about her. Probably just dumb gossip, but the word around the diner was that she was sleeping with Eddie. That’s why she could get away with anything. I didn’t know if it was true and didn’t care.

I didn’t like her. Not many of us did.

Once noon came around, four additional workers showed up to help out, just in time for the lunch rush. Eddie allowed me to take a thirty minute lunch break once they showed up. I was relieved to get some time to myself. My face was achy from all the smiling. As soon as I walked outside of the diner I felt my shoulders slump in exhaustion, just from the metal strain.

I began to walk towards the park, when a voice from behind me got my attention. I turned slightly behind me, to see that girl I had been helping all day came practically skipping over to me. She wore an animated smile as she pushed her huge glasses back from the tip of her nose.

“Hey, I didn’t have a chance to thank you for all the help. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through that mess.” She shyly shifted her oversized top back to cover her exposed bra strap.

“You did great. Have more confidence. I barely helped at all.” I waved her off with a small smile.

Her laugh was light and airy, as if she was out of breath. With a nervous twitch, she ran her hand through her cropped brown curls at the top of her head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch… with me.” Her face instantly began to get red - when my response to my raised brow.

“I was just going to head to the park and relax. I didn’t bring an actual lunch with me today.”

“I could buy you some lunch if you want. I’d really like to thank you for what you did.” She said quickly.

I felt bad for turning down her offer, but I didn’t want or need anyone to buy food for me. It just didn’t feel right. I wanted to be independent. As nice as her comment was, it slightly annoyed me. Did she pity me? Did she think I couldn’t afford to buy my own food? I just didn’t want to spend money on whims. Of course she didn’t know that.

“That’s alright, I’ll pass on that. Thanks anyway.” I said as I turned back around and started off towards the park. I was relieved that she didn’t follow me. I heard her call out goodbye to me. I lifted my hand up, but didn’t turn back around. I just wanted some peace. It’s only been a few hours of work, but I needed time away. It was a strain to hold a fake smile and act so peppy. It wasn’t who I was. Honestly, I had a pretty dark outlook on life in general. I never used to be that way.

If I was the same girl I was when I was living at home, I probably would have had lunch with the girl and probably become her friend. She seemed nice enough and she was around my age. But that wasn’t me. Not anymore. I’ve been burned too many times over this past year. I don’t trust people. I didn’t want to open up and invite anyone into my life. I didn’t have time for it. It would just distract me from my goals. Maybe there will be time for all that trivial stuff, after Ana beats this cancer. For now, that’s all I would focus on. I haven’t even dated anyone since moving here. All it’s been is messy one-night stands, that I usually don’t even remember. That would be fine. For now.

The thought of one-night stands made me think of Erik. My heart clenched in my chest. He was a very kind person to give me all that money. It was thanks to him, Ana wouldn’t have to worry this month. The image of his dark eyes and muscular body entered my mind, sending a chill down my spine. I wonder what he was up to today? I mean other than ending things with his wife. It really wasn’t my business. I doubt I will ever see him again. I should just forget about him.

As I entered the park, I decided to sit down on the fountain. There are a few more people here now. It appeared to mostly be office workers, having their lunches. They all stayed to themselves. None of them even made any attempt at conversation as I sat down. They glanced at me with disgust, but mostly just ignored my presence. I’m sure I looked like a mess. I was coated in sweat, food and in the last hour, I had been cleaning up puke from a child that got sick at the table.

I tried not to feel self-conscious about my appearance and just focus on what was going on around me. There was quiet chattering and the sounds of cars continuously flying past. A hard gust of wind blew through the park, tossing my hair into my face. A sweet aroma was lingering in the air from the food stand that was set up on the other side of the park. My stomach grumbled and bubbled uncomfortably.

Should I get something to eat? No. I could wait. There most likely will be some left over diner food I can take home. There usually was. The diner was my main source of food. Eddie gave all employees discounts on meals and access to any expired produce and meats for free. He was a really generous man. He didn’t have to do that, but he truly did care for his workers, even though his demeanor was a bit rough.

The sun was blinding today. I should have put on sunscreen, but I was in too much of a hurry to get to work. I could feel my skin getting warm on my arms. It probably was a bad idea to sit in the park today. I would probably get sunburn. But I didn’t have the energy to move. Instead, I reached down and let my hand slip into the water of the fountain. It was nice and cold, I had the urge to kick my shoes off and dip my toes in. It was something I’ve done in the past, but apparently that was off-putting to the public. People thought I was weird or repulsive. But I was raised in the countryside. If we were hot, we went to the lake and stuck our toes in the water. I guess they didn’t do that here… at least not at the park fountain. We came from different worlds.

This was my favorite spot in the whole city. There is so much plantlife and greenery here. It had the earthy smell of being out in nature. Nowhere else in the city was like this. Vibrant flowers decorated the area with an array of roses, marigolds and other common summertime flowers. Sometimes you can catch the sight of some butterflies floating around. Or birds landing by the fountain for a drink.

But it wasn’t quite the same as the farmland back home. The grass here is a rich, flawless green, with no signs of any weeds or decay. The trees and bushes were all planted in a deliberate way, all perfectly lined up, neatly trimmed and hedged. Not like back home, where things grew in random places, along with weeds and tall grasses. Let’s not forget the constant swarm of insects that hung around.

But it was still always a comfort to come here. It was my secret spot to escape from this industrial circus.

After a while, of just sitting there, I glanced over to the large clock tower that sat just at the edge of the park. Fifteen more minutes. My break was dwindling away quicker than I wanted. My shift would end in another three hours, but if Eddie permitted, I would stay over. Knowing him, he wouldn’t object. We were always in need of more staff. But even with overtime, I knew it wasn’t going to be enough to keep up with the payments for Ana’s medication, or my rent. I had to look for another job, something that would make a bit more money. Since the only money we make at the diner is what we are given in tips, it was never consistent on how much I would earn on a given day. It would just depend on how busy we would get. Today was considered a busy day, so in the three hours I'd been working I made one hundred dollars in tips. Which wasn’t bad at all, but it rarely gets this busy. Usually I earn about that much in a full eight-hour shift.

I would have to start going around and filling out applications. I suppose I could do that once I finished up at work. It was going to be a long day.