My Tortured Soul

Chapter 12 - Me

I was abandoned as a baby. I was born to a drug addicted mother who left me in the bathroom of a hospital emergency room.

Then came a slew of foster houses because no one couldn't stand the incessant screaming and crying.

As I grew up I would often get lousy houses that just wanted me for the money.

Most of the time I was either neglected or beaten or r***d.

Occasionally I would get placed with a really lovely couple that treated me well but their own children would be jealous and I'd have to leave again.

I had no idea who my family was.

I had no relatives.

I had no one.

I've had a soul sucking pit in my stomach for as long as I can remember.

Throughout school I was bullied. Made fun of because of the bruises I tried so hard to hide. I was a good student. I studied hard and got all A's. I was the valedictorian of my graduating class.

I was so proud of that.

Because I had already turned 18, I was out of foster care and didn't have anyone there to see me walk across the stage or hear my speech.

It's been just me for as long as I can remember.

I never had a boyfriend.

I moved foster houses so much it was hard to stay in the same school. I was able to finish my senior year at the same school because I turned 18 in December. So I found a place near the school so I could at least graduate.

I got a job at a tiny diner and there was an apartment with a loft above the place so I could walk to school and then go to work afterwards.

I decorated my home in thrift store chic.

My home.

The first home.

Everything until now had been houses. Someplace I stayed at until I wasn't wanted anymore.

I was proud of my little apartment.

My little job.

My little life.

It was all going well until that night.

That night ended my little life.

Not that I died, but my will to live was gone.

The nightmares took over my sleep, keeping me from getting any real rest.

I can still feel their hands on me. .

I can still smell their breath.

I can still feel the blood pouring out of my veins.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

I don't want to remember it anymore

I can't live like this anymore.

And now I was going to live forever.