Claire de Lune

CHAPTER 4

Another day of school awaited me, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement in my chest. Yesterday, I had spent the entire day thinking about Zephyra. I wondered if I would see her again today. Of course I would see her, she's my professor.

As I made my way to the kitchen, my mom greeted me with a smile and asked me how's my day at school was yesterday. Before I could even answer, my older sister Selene cut in, a sly smile on her face.

"She's doing great, Mom. Someone important is there to brighten up her day." Selene said with a grin.

I felt my face flush red as I tried to playfully slap her arm. "Tigilan mo nga ako, Selene!" I exclaimed, but she easily dodged me and ran off, giggling. My mom shook her head, trying to suppress a smile.

Mom raised an eyebrow and looked at me curiously. "Sino ba yang sinasabi ni Selene?" she asked.

"It's nothing, Mom. Biro lang ni Selene yun," I replied, trying to brush it off.

"Now, you haven't answered my question Luna, how was your day at school yesterday?" My mom asked, redirecting the conversation.

I took a deep breath and replied honestly at least, "It was good, Mom. I had a lot of fun with my friends and learned a lot in class."

My mom nodded, pleased with my answer, and I quickly finished getting ready for school. As I walked out the door, I couldn't shake the feeling of embarrassment that Selene had exposed my secret to my mom.

But at the same time, a part of me was glad that I had someone to confide in, even if it was unintentional. I quickly pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the day ahead. I had a full day of classes ahead of me, and I wanted to make the most of it.

I arrived at school, feeling nervous and anxious. My heart was pounding as I walked through the gates and made my way to the library. I knew I had to talk to Raine about what was going on in my head, but I didn't know how to start.

As soon as I got to the library, I messaged Raine.

"Hey, can you meet me in the library? I have something important to tell you."

Raine replied almost instantly.

"Sure, I'll be there in a few minutes. Is everything okay?"

I didn't reply immediately. I wasn't sure if everything was okay, but I didn't want to worry Raine. Instead, I waited for her to arrive.

When she finally showed up, I saw her sitting in a vacant chair, and grab a book. I walked over to her and sat beside her.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked, looking up from her book.

I took a deep breath before answering. "I need to talk to you about something. It's been on my mind for a while, and I don't know how to deal with it."

Raine looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Okay, you can tell me anything. What's going on?"

I hesitated for a moment before asking, "Do you have a crush on someone?"

Raine looked confused by my question, but she answered anyway. "Uh, yeah, I do. Why do you ask?"

I fidgeted with my hands, trying to find the right words to say. "I don't know. I'm just confused. I think I might have a crush on someone too, but I'm not sure. It's weird because I've never had feelings for anyone before."

Raine's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Who is it?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to say just yet. I need to figure out my own feelings first."

Raine nodded in understanding. "Okay, take your time. I'm here for you whenever you need me."

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Ulan. I appreciate it."

We sat in silence for a few moments before Raine spoke up again. "Do you want to talk about it more? Maybe it'll help you figure things out."

I thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, that might be a good idea."

And so, Raine and I talked for minutes about my feelings and what they meant. By the end of it, I still didn't have all the answers, but I felt a lot better having someone to talk to about it.

As we walked out of the library together, Raine turned to me and said, "You know, Luna, having a crush can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Just remember to take things one step at a time and listen to your heart."

I smiled at her, feeling grateful for her support. "Thanks, Raine. I'll try to do that."

Raine and I walked together towards our economics class, but my mind was elsewhere. Even though Raine had been so supportive, the thought of Zephyra still weighed heavily on my mind. I couldn't help but feel my heart race as I caught a glimpse of her in the hallway.

As we toward her, Zephyra greeted us with a smile and a cheerful "Good morning!" I felt my cheeks flush as I returned the greeting, my heart beating faster than ever before. Raine noticed the change in my demeanor and asked me what was wrong, but I kept my thoughts to myself.

We entered the classroom and took our seats, but I found myself unable to focus on the lesson. Instead, I doodled absentmindedly in my notebook, lost in my own thoughts. Raine nudged me gently and whispered, "Hey, Luna, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Raine," I said, trying to brush off her concern. "I'm just a little distracted today."

Raine gave me a knowing look, but didn't press the issue. Instead, she turned her attention back to the lesson. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Zephyra, and how I wished that I had the courage to talk to her.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I gathered my things and headed towards the door. Raine caught up with me, and I could tell that she was still concerned.

"You can talk to me about anything, you know," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm here for you."

I smiled at her, feeling grateful for her friendship. "Thanks, Raine," I said. "I'll keep that in mind."

As I was about to leave the classroom, Zephyra called out to me, "Ms. Chandler. Can you stay for a minute? I want to talk to you about something."

My heart skipped a beat as I heard her voice. Was this it? I tried to remain calm as I replied with a silent "Sure" and told Raine to wait for me at the cafeteria.

Zephyra closed the door behind us as we stood facing each other. She looked nervous, which was a surprise to me since she always seemed so confident.

"Ms. Chandler. Hi, how have you been doing in the past few days?" Zephyra asked in a soothing voice.

I felt a flutter in my heart hearing Zephyra call me by my name. "I've been doing okay Zephyra, thanks for asking," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

Zephyra cleared her throat. "It's Professor Pavlichenko, Ms. Chandler," she said firmly.

I felt a little disappointed at the sudden formality, but quickly got over it. "Sorry, Professor Pavlichenko. I'll make sure to remember that."

Zephyra nodded, but I could sense a distance in her tone that made me feel uneasy. I tried to keep the conversation going, hoping to break through the formal barrier between us.

"How about you, Professor Pavlichenko? How have you been doing?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Zephyra's response was polite, but there was a hint of reservation in her voice. I could tell that she was trying to maintain a professional distance between us.

I couldn't resist asking her about our time at the seashore. "Uhm, Professor Pavlichenko, I was wondering if you could come back to the seashore again sometime. I really missed being there with you."

Zephyra's face turned serious, and my heart sank. "I don't know, Ms. Chandler. I'm pretty busy these days."

I tried to stay positive, hoping that she would at least consider my invitation. "How about we go together as friends? We could spend an afternoon there and just hang out."

But Zephyra's rejection was swift and final. "Sorry, Ms. Chandler. I don't think that's a good idea."

I tried to hide my disappointment, but it was written all over my face. With a silent 'ok', I gathered my things and left the classroom without looking back at her.

As I left the classroom and met up with Raine, I felt like a fool for even thinking that Zephyra could have feelings for me. I had let my emotions get the best of me, and now I was left with nothing but heartache.

Raine could tell that something was wrong, and she tried to console me. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of rejection and the fact that I had let myself become so vulnerable.

It was a tough lesson to learn, but I knew that I had to move on from my feelings for Zephyra. It was time to focus on my studies and my future, and to leave my feelings behind.