ELEVATOR STORIES (4)Three years into our incarceration of being stuck in the elevator, I hatched a plan to kill Mrs. Hortense's dog, Zooey, whose annoying flatulence continued to envelop everyone here in a dense fog of olfactory foulness. Fortunately for everyone in the elevator, through a process that we do not pretend to understand, the air is briefly purified and we are able to breathe once again in relative peace. But frankly, I have had enough. Three years is way too long to be trapped in an enclosed space with a dog whose every breath from one end seems to coincide with an obnoxious gaseous odor from the other end.
I have decided that action must be swift and decisive, and to this end I have elicited the help of Barton Bader. Unfortunately, he was on the other side of the elevator w
