What Would You Rate My Heart On A Scale 1 to 10

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ashley :

Sometimes making your thoughts wander through the darkest parts of your heart and brain makes things a lot harder for you to get over with.

That's what is going on with me right now. I am all f****d up and miserable, waiting for some miracle to occur and get me out of this shitty condition I'm in.

It's drizzling and my tears and the rain drops create a good team with the silence of my inner thoughts. It's a complete drama. I am dramatic, I've always been.

As I try to take in everything as much as I can, a heavy rain drop trickle down my cheeks. Or tears I don't know since they are all mixed now. It's pouring. And I don't even have a f*****g umbrella.

I actually never liked umbrellas.

And here I am sitting on the ground, my legs are moving around according to the rythm of the waves and I'm wearing absolutely nothing but my little black dress, watching the scenery of the gorgeous city in front of me. People are all running away, in a hurry to protect themselves from being soaked.

But I don't care. I am all wet and soaked, extending my arms, laughing and crying and screaming at the top of my lungs and for the first time in a while enjoying the feeling of feeling free.

"Happier Than Ever" is absolutely the best song to listen to when you are under the heavy rain and crying.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Oh my God. I look like a f*****g monster. My face covered in mascara, my hair is a mess and I literally look terrible.

As I put my phone back into my purse, I see a man and a cameraman walking toward me. I continue walking since it's really not much of a big deal to see thousands of people recording in the middle of the New York City.

What's going on?

Well, I was the one they wanted to record somehow. I don't exactly know why.

There it's happening. The shorts are literally filled with millions of "what would rate this girl/boy on a scale 1 to 10" and now I'm being a part of them.

I am actually reluctant about letting them take my picture since I am literally the definition of misery and pain right now. And my looks are also not so bright at the moment. So I would give myself a solid 3.

First I decide how I would pose and I go with the one where you put your hands on your waist and lean over a little bit, and add a kiss effect mixed with the sultry tears running down my cheeks.

I look so pathetic.

But I don't care, at the end of the day I'm happy in a unique way.