Wolven Rising: Untold Stories

GR-19: Meet My Wolf

Shasta

She was a fox. Literally.

Okay, not literally, but Zusa, Alana's wolf, had markings just as striking as her brother's silver fur, but in a completely different way. Her fur was a rich copper color, that got darker on her legs and tail. She was lithe, beautifully built, and drop-dead gorgeous. She was, in a word, perfect.

You don't have to tell me twice, Hunter said, drooling a little.

The ceremonies were over, and all over the clearing, people were undressing and shifting into their wolves for the Ahio pack run. It was a ritual at every Gathering, symbolic of the original pack on this continent, founded by the youngest of the original seven Wolf brothers. Soon, we would all run together, in a loop around the Harvest Moon grounds.

I want to go meet her, Hunter whined.

The tables have turned, I see, I teased as I continued to admire Alana's wolf. It was nice to not be the only one pining after her for a change. But we shouldn't. We should stay with our pack.

Hunter let out a little huff, and suddenly Zusa's silvery eyes were on us. Hunter puffed out his chest, trying to look impressive. Zusa let out a little chirping snigger and swished her tail.

Pleeeease let's go meet her, Hunter begged.

What happened to, 'I'm wired to only connect with my mate?'

Shut up, Hunter snarled, using my usual catch phrase.

Elder Kara's silver wolf howled at the moon. We all responded with howls of our own, then the Ahio pack run began.

Isn't this great? Harlie linked as her wolf, Mara, raced through the trees.

This is so much easier than relying on sight and sound signals! Harrison, one of the warriors, linked excitedly.

Except we can still use those along with the mindlink to give ourselves an edge, Kendria's voice filled our pack mind.

That's our Alpha, always thinking about business, Tamara laughed.

Hunter had a big wolfy grin on his face as we continued the pack run. It felt good to stretch our legs and feel the ground pounding beneath our paws after a week without shifting. A flash of fiery orange-red drew our eyes to Alana's wolf, running near Harlie and Mason. I wended my way through the trees, still running forward with the pack but making my way closer to her with each bounding leap.

We finally pulled even with her and Hunter nudged her side. Zusa let out a small bark and lengthened her stride, inciting a playful competition as we raced each other.

Ahead, the trees started thinning as we approached the clearing from the south, already almost done with the pack run. Without realizing it, I had slowed down, wanting to draw out our time in wolf form as much as possible. Zusa, once she realized she'd left me behind, did the same.

We let the rest of the wolves go by, opting to stay at the edge of the woods. Hunter sat down and faced Zusa, who kelt down in a playful bow, brownish-red tail swishing. Hunter huffed and bumped noses with her, making her sneeze. She gave us a nip on the shoulder, maybe a little harder than what was strictly playful, then sat and faced us as well.

We sat like that for awhile, just inspecting each other. I had a feeling I was being evaluated, but for what I wasn't quite sure. Finally, Zusa nodded her head and abruptly trotted off, leaving me sitting alone.

Hunter shook out our fur. By now, most of the other wolves had shifted back and were getting dressed, ready to head back to the banquet hall for one final party before catching a few hours of sleep. My clothes stood out in the trampled grass, all my other pack members having already dressed and left. I shifted and quickly put on my pants and button-up shirt, only doing up a few rather than take the time to properly do them all. I hated buttons.

I turned to see Alana finishing tying her wrap dress around her, studiously avoiding looking up. I glanced around, but saw no sign of my pack or her family. "Hello," I said, walking up to her.

"Hello," she said carefully, finally looking up at me. Her stormy eyes were hiding whatever she was thinking.

"Listen, about earlier..." I started, then stopped. I wasn't supposed to say anything about our rescue and retrieval of the Wolf Stone. How could I apologize without giving her the reason why I left without responding to her statements earlier?

"It's okay," she said quietly. "I know you had to go. And why."

"But I wanted to stay," I blurted. "I wanted to stay with you, Alana. And to tell you how sorry I am. About everything."

She sighed. "What do you mean by 'everything?'"

I drank in the sight of her, my shirt flapping in the wind. Her face was inscrutable, and she looked tired. "I mean everything," I said. "I wish we could start all over so I could have told you about the other women and stuff, before you had to find out that way. Hell, I wish I could go back and never do anything with other women. But I can't do either of those things. All I can tell you is that I'm sorry I'm a shitty person, and hope you don't hate me."

Alana was quiet for a moment, rubbing her arms against the chill. I wanted to offer her my shirt or put my arm around her, but I knew I couldn't do that for her. She wasn't mine. "I don't hate you," she said finally.

"You don't?"

She shook her head. "I don't. And let me tell you something, Shasta. You shouldn't refer to yourself as a 'shitty person.' For one, you're not. You made mistakes, but so does everybody. Also, it's a total cop out."

I tilted my head, confused. "A cop out? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you apologized for being a 'shitty person,' which is far from an accurate description," Alana said, exasperation showing through her ambiguous expression. "It also just collectively bundles any potential mistakes or actions you've done in a blanket 'I'm sorry,' without truly owning up to anything you're sorry for. Also, I know you didn't mean to, but it incites pity. And I don't want to pity you."

For the second time that night, I felt her words like a slap to the face. I ducked my head. "Oh."

Alana touched her finger under my chin and lifted my face. "I do know you're sorry. And I know what you're sorry for. You were right, we can't start over."

I felt my heart crack, right down the middle.

"But maybe we can see if we can build something new, starting from right now," she said, leaning in to meet my gaze.

I looked at her, her eyes full of forgiveness, strength, and hope. "I think I'd like that," I said huskily. "Whatever you're willing to give me, Alana, I'll take it and be glad."

---

Alana

Shasta and I walked toward the banquet hall side by side. I was glad that we cleared the air, but I felt a little guilty about what I said. Maybe I was too hard on him? I had to remember that his life had many more hardships than mine. Still, I knew he wanted nothing more than to overcome that and live his life with purpose. Plus, my feelings were important, too. It took this week for me to really realize that, and now that I knew how it felt to say my piece and stand up for myself, I wasn't about to let it go.

I smiled gently, deciding to break the silence. "Hunter is really handsome."

Shasta offered a little half smile. "Zusa is a sight to see, too. I don't think I've ever seen a more unique and beautiful wolf."

I blushed as Zusa purred loudly in my mind. "Thank you." When I first shifted, Mason teased me about my wolf's fox-like appearance, but it suited Zusa's personality exactly, and I had grown to love how we looked in wolf form.

"So, are you going to the appetizer buffet?" Shasta asked. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully, afraid to mess up the tenuous friendship we were rebuilding. I missed how easily we talked in the orchard, and that night beneath the oak tree, but I wasn't ready to open myself back up that way yet, so I couldn't expect him to do it, either.

"Yes, I'm going," I answered. "I helped plan it, and I want to make sure it turned out okay before I go to bed."

"Okay," he said happily. "I'm going too. I want to see your work. And eat food."

"Well, there should be plenty of food, appetizers or not," I said. "I made sure chef Renée included bacon-wrapped water chestnuts."

"Mmmm," Shasta hummed. "I'm sure they won't be as good as yours, though."

"They're probably better. I learned how to make them from her," I replied.

"Nope, not the same."

We arrived at the banquet hall and Shasta immediately made a beeline for the buffet, piling his plate high with a few of everything. While he was busy, I searched the crowd until I found my parents.

"Alana, there you are! I was starting to wonder where you'd run off to," my mom said, hugging me to her side. She stood with my dad and the retired Alpha Rhys and Luna Dianne at a tall cocktail table, a plate with a few veggies on it in front of her.

"Oh, I slowed down before we got back to the clearing, the pack run was just too good for me to want it to end," I told her.

"It really was special this year, wasn't it?" My dad agreed. "There's something about doing it with your own pack in attendance, not just as a visiting delegation."

"Indeed, it was the perfect way to retire," Luna Dianne said with a sigh of contentment. Alpha Rhys put his arm around her and kissed her temple.

"So, have the other kids run off, then?" Alphy Rhys said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm sure they were the first ones to leave," my dad said, roaring with laughter.

"Vincent!" My mom scolded him and swatted his arm, pointedly glancing at me.

"Oh, uh, right," my dad stammered.

"I'm not a little kid, you know," I said, my cheeks turning red regardless.

"Of course you aren't, sweetie," my mom said.

"I'm going to go get some food, now," I said. "Goodnight, Alpha Rhys, Luna Dianne."

"Dear, it's just Dianne, now," she said, wrapping me in a warm hug.

"I admit, that will take some getting used to," I told her, returning her embrace. I excused myself and put a few different appetizers on my plate, then looked for Shasta. After searching the room three times, I finally found him, hiding in a corner partially obscured by a potted cherry tree.

"Having fun?" I asked, noting that the food on his plate was mostly gone. "Did everything taste good?"

"It was delicious," he said with a grin. "And I was right. Your water chestnuts are better. But the ones your chef made did come pretty close."

"Why are you hiding out over here, then?" I asked. "I think I saw some of your delegation at one of the tables."

"Oh," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I saw you talking to your parents, and I thought maybe I should make myself scarce."

I studied him. "Why?"

"Well, you know, I wasn't sure they liked me very much, after I showed up after dark on your doorstep earlier this week."

I couldn't help it. I snorted unattractively. "You are so silly."

"What? How am I silly? I'm not silly." Shasta protested.

"Because you jump to the worst conclusions about yourself without finding out the facts," I said. "I haven't known you for long, but can tell you do it all the time. You have no idea if my parents like you, since you never asked me, and you certainly never asked them."

The tips of Shasta's ears turned red, and I could see the rosy blush creeping up his neck from under his collar. "I guess not..." he muttered.

"Look," I said, wanting to make him feel better. "We're building something new, right?"

"Right."

"Well, unlike the first time, when we kept our friendship to ourselves, I think we should just come out with it and be friends, no hiding it," I said. "Sound good?"

He nodded. "Sounds good."

"Right, then." I brushed my hands together. "Let's go talk to your delegation."

His eyes widened. "What?"

"Let's go talk to your delegation," I repeated. "Or should I say your pack? Tamara is sort of family now, and I'd love to get to know your other pack members better."

He looked over my shoulder, probably seeing who was there. I had already looked in advance though, and I knew that Fletcher was not among them. Probably sleeping off the alcohol by this point. Crisis temporarily averted.

I started walking over, hearing Shasta catch up after a few steps. "I don't know why I'm nervous," he murmured as we drew close.

"Don't be," I whispered. "Hello, everyone!" I greeted the table. "How are you all doing?"

Tamara smiled. "Fantastic! Thank you for asking, Alana."

We were folded effortlessly into the conversation, which was centered around the pack ceremonies and all the things they wanted to do once they returned to their home on Mount Haven. I watched as Shasta relaxed, his joyful and close camaraderie with his pack members evident. They were closer than I felt most people in my pack were, and I loved seeing it.

My mind flitted again to his wolf, Hunter. He'd told me his name earlier in the week, but this was the first time I'd seen him. He really was a handsome wolf, with rich brown fur and pale blue eyes. Zusa liked him too, that much was evident. But the answer of whether we were mates would have to wait for three long months, until I turned eighteen. As for the question of whether I was ready to put my trust in him again, I wasn't so sure. I wanted to, but there was a little voice in my head that kept warning me to tread carefully.

But, like it or not, I knew I was already in too deep.