BRIDE OF THE RUTHLESS DEMON

THE GREAT SNACK HUNT

Chapter 13: The Great Snack Hunt

The fake rain kept falling on the tin roof in Damon’s study. The quiet sound started to make Roxan feel sleepy, which was dangerous when sitting across from a space tyrant.

Damon suddenly stood up. His chair made a sharp metal sound as it moved on the floor. He seemed restless.

“This ‘chilling’ process is not working,” he declared. “I am full of energy. My systems feel… unsettled.”

“That’s called being bored,” Roxan said with a yawn. “You should try having hobbies that don't involve conquering things.”

“Boredom is an inefficient use of time,” Damon snapped. He started walking around the room, picking things up and putting them down hard. “I need a task. Kaelen, what is my next scheduled event?”

“Your next event, King Damon, is a full system check in three Earth hours,” the computer voice replied.

“Too long,” Damon muttered. He looked at Roxan with dark, demanding eyes. “I need a current mission. Human, what is a simple task I can do right now?”

Roxan thought for a second. The man was like a big, powerful child who needed a chore. And she was hungry. The fondue party had been heavy on the cheese smell, but light on the actual food she wanted to eat.

“A simple task?” Roxan asked. “Okay. We need food. Snacks. The kind which humans eat. I am hungry.”

Damon stared at her blankly. “Food is handled by the ship’s nutrition system. Press the green button on the wall. It gives you grey paste that is 99% efficient for the body.”

“I don’t want grey paste, Damon. I want real food. Human food. You know, crunchy things, sweet things, salty things.”

Damon’s jaw tightened. He hated things that were not grey paste and efficiency.

“This is a waste of time and resources,” he argued.

“It is a mission for ‘human-alien cultural exchange’,” Roxan said, using his own logic against him. “If you want me to be a good Queen Consort for your new Earth rules, you need to understand what my species requires to be happy.”

Damon paused. The idea of ‘cultural exchange’ was a rule he could understand. And he did want Roxan to be happy—mostly because a happy Roxan was a quiet Roxan. Sometimes.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically. “We will acquire ‘snacks’. Kaelen, where can we find human snacks on this ship?”

“Desmond, the Primary Liaison for Cultural Cuisine Exchange, uploaded data on ‘snack’ locations to the ship’s map before he left. I can show you the route to the main kitchen storage area.”

Damon turned and headed for the door without another word. Roxan followed him, a small smile on her face. This was going to be funny.

They walked through the cold, metal hallways of the massive ship. Damon moved fast, like he was marching into a war zone, not going to a kitchen.

He was focused, following the blue light on the floor that showed the way. Roxan walked beside him, trying to keep up.

“Do you have a plan for the mission, King Damon?” she asked, playing along with his serious attitude.

“Yes,” he said flatly. “Enter the room. Locate items labeled ‘snacks’. Take them. Return to study.”

“A perfect plan,” Roxan agreed.

They reached the kitchen area. It was large and very clean, filled with steel tables and complex machines for making grey paste. On one wall were some simple storage boxes the ship usually didn't use.

Damon walked straight to the boxes. They were clearly marked by Desmond with a bright blue marker: "ROXAN'S EMERGENCY SNACK STASH (EARTH GOOD STUFF)."

Damon stared at the boxes. He didn't move.

“What is the problem?” Roxan asked.

“The labels,” Damon said, his voice tense. “They are messy. The handwriting is not straight.”

Roxan almost fell over laughing. The Demon King was stressed by bad handwriting.

“Damon, just open the box.”

Damon reached out one finger and pushed the box lid up. Inside were all sorts of brightly colored bags and boxes. Red bags of chips, blue boxes of cookies, yellow bags of something called 'cheese puffs'. The room suddenly had a smell of salt and sugar, much nicer than the smell of grey paste.

Damon recoiled in fear. Or maybe disgust. It was hard to tell.

“The colors are aggressive,” he stated. “They violate optical comfort zones.”

“They are just snacks, you big baby,” Roxan said, stepping past him. She grabbed a bag of chips. “See? Food.” She opened the bag with a loud whoosh of air and ate one chip.

Damon watched her chew with wide eyes. “It makes a loud noise. It is inefficient to eat noisy food.”

“It is satisfying,” Roxan said. She grabbed the yellow bag of cheese puffs.

''You have to try one. For science. For cultural exchange.''

She held the bright yellow puff out to him. Damon looked at the puff, then at Roxan. He looked like he wanted to run away to a different galaxy.

“I will not put that yellow thing in my mouth,” he said firmly.

“It’s a mission, Damon! Complete the mission!” Roxan teased him.

Damon sighed a deep, deep sigh. He leaned down slightly, using only his lips to quickly grab the cheese puff from her fingers. He chewed it once.

His face changed instantly. His eyes opened wide. The look of disgust was gone, replaced by pure shock and maybe joy.

“This is… acceptable,” he said. He took another one from the bag himself. Then another.

“Told you,” Roxan smiled, grabbing a box of chocolate cookies for herself.

The conqueror of three planets and the human girl stood in the silent, clean kitchen of the spaceship, eating crunchy, messy Earth snacks. The mission was complete.