Chapter Three: Mindwalking

4166 Words
Veronica was always the speaker between the two of us. Whenever we found ourselves in a new situation, she would be the one to step up and introduce us. Her way of doing it was just better. She used to smile at people with the right amount of teeth and know exactly what to say to leave her mark on them long after she had left. She was just more approachable. Even after everything I’ve been through since the incident, to be the one they go to first still momentarily startles me. “So, are you ready to tell us your name?” Julian isn’t what I had pictured when I overheard his name earlier. He doesn’t come in the way Cassandra had, with her shoulders pulled back and a dagger held loosely between her hands. I was also lying in a bed, which was far more comfortable than the chair I had been tied to in that occasion. Both his hands are placed in front of him. I suspect the movement is deliberate, as if to let me know that he holds nothing that can harm me in them. "Bella,"I answer, noting that Aven hadn't given away my name. A low whisper slithers into my mind, he wants something from you, they all do. If life had taught me something, it's that. Favors always come with a price. Julian nods. He is quite young looking, especially next to Bianca. Well, not exactly young, but the edge of maturity that seems to hang on to Bianca's heavy gaze isn't in his. His gaze is one of wonder, as if I were some kind of new toy he could tinker with. I also can't seem to find his mark. Bianca's had been made obvious the moment she opened her mouth. Her canines are sharper than any normal's. Julian though,is hard to figure out. His eyes were brown, so was his hair. There was no alteration to his skin either. He looked normal. Very few markings were obvious though. Just us the unlucky ones. "Well, Bella," He says, either unaware or uncaring of the way I am searching him with my eyes, "What's your story?" For a moment, I choke. Cassandra had told me that complete lies never made it through any test. I needed to share a half-truth, something from my life I could invoke enough credibility from. Yet my memories were the k****e my energy seemed to feed off every time I dive too deep into them. If the memory was too strong, it could pull me into it. Everything would be ruined. Probably sensing my distress, Bianca places a hand over mine. I immediately pull it back. Her expression drops, the look in her eyes a little too understanding. "You don't need to tell us anything about your past if you don't want to." I blink, the lie had already been hanging at the tip of my tongue. Her kindness can be as much as a facade as my reasons for being here, but I can't make myself reject it. I nod slowly. Julian and Bianca share a look.  "How were you hurt?" Cassandra's eyes flash through my mind, her hands gripping my face as she pressed the blade into my stomach. She had wanted to make it as believable as possible, she told me, but I knew she had found some pleasure in putting a knife in my gut. "Bounty hunters. They found me hiding in an alley, digging for scraps." This isn't a lie. I just didn't specify how long ago it had been.  "How did you find us?" Now this, this was tricky. I couldn't say how I found them because I myself wasn't sure. Cassandra had assumed that I would, and if I didn't, then tough. I'd been delirious most of my walk here. A fragment of a memory hints that something had carried me at some point, something not human. I can't be fully sure of that though.  I look at Bianca directly, avoiding Julian's eyes as he was still staring at me as if I were some kind of fascinating specimen. "When they injured me, I ran into the forest, hoping they wouldn't follow. I don't know exactly how I ended up here, I was half out of my mind. I just...did." Bianca nods in understanding. Julian, though, seems overly eager to know more. "Did your own energy guide you, or was it the forest?" "I-I don't know." "Do you think it was because you were about to die? Did the forest talk to you? Bianca claims it talks to her sometimes." Bianca smashes her elbow into his shoulder. "Ouch, you do."
 "I don't think you are asking for the institution's security at this point, just to sate your own curiosity." Julian almost pouts, but seems to catch himself in time to turn it into a grimace. "Is it a sin to be curious?"
 "No, but you are overwhelming her."  I stare between the two of them. A younger version of myself would have envied the ease they seem to have with each other as I never had friends, but now I can't help but think that whatever they have between each other is something that can be taken, just like Veronica. "I haven't even asked her if she knows what she can do." Julian looks at me again. I look away. "She'll tell us when she is comfortable."  Bianca does find my eyes and keeps them there with her certainty. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to share more than a half-truth, but I don't deny her either. "You are safe now, Bella." I wasn't. I never would be. My only safety lied on an unmarked grave in the middle of the forest, decaying as we speak.  I nod anyway. Apparently, despite my very vague answers and half spoken lies, I had passed the test. I was allowed to meet the rest of the house now. Julian had left the infirmary with one more longing gaze my way. His posture implied that he was still eager to ask more questions. Bianca threw a pillow at him and he left without any further questions. "Everyone is usually all over the house during the afternoon. Lessons are in the morning. It'll be hard to find anyone to introduce you to right now."  I am walking the halls of the house with Bianca. My eyes are everywhere, yet they still don't feel like enough. The decorations they've chosen for the house go from antiques to odd looking sculptures that hardly seem to hold together. "Those are Oscar's," Bianca says when she notices me looking at them, "He is an artist and insists on displaying his art around the house." Bianca's annoyed look almost puts a smile on my face. There are also plants, which is funny, considering the fact that they have a garden and an actual forest to stare at.  "How many of you are there in here?" I ask, forcing my face to remain neutral. This was an important question.  "Not as much as I would hope," Bianca answers, her face grim, "Yours was the case for many of our kind, bounty hunters. Others weren't lucky enough to run into the forest." "There was a point in which there were twenty five of us," she continues, "That's no longer the case. There's  fifteen of us now. Sixteen, including you." I shake away the shock. Cassandra had assumed there were plenty of them. 'All huddling up in a shelter like rats when they're frightened' had been her exact words. To realize that their numbers were so reduced was both relieving and frightening at the same time. What had happened to the rest of them? How many had been like me, captured yet never rescued. Were their bodies fertilizing the soil I had been thrown at to get me here? We stop in front of a door. Bianca looks at me. "Somebody has to be in the library. They are always looking for something nowadays." She opens the door. The library is bigger than I expected. Books fill shelves that reach all the way to the roof. Memories of Veronica reading to me at night before I went to bed slam into me, then her patient stare as she tried to teach me how to read after her. My energy simmers, I push the memory away. I search the room for a familiar set of golden eyes and chocolate brown hair. I find silver instead. Bianca's face lights up. "Grace." Grace looks up. She slams her book shut. Her eyes are magenta, which somehow goes with her silver blonder hair really well. "Mrs. Bianca. I see you've brought someone new." "I am Bella," I blurt out with no prompting from either girl. Grace doesn't seem to mind. "Hello Bella," Grace says, getting up from her chair. Once she reaches me, she flicks the white streak of my hair from my face. "Nice." I raise an eyebrow at her. That hardly seemed like normal behavior. How would she feel if I poked her eye and told her 'nice'? "Have you seen the others? I wanted Bella to meet them before I take her to her room." Grace looks around, then stops. "Thea was in here with me a moment ago. I could have sworn she was still here." She looks around again. "Huh." "Well Thea must have gone with Amara. Oscar has locked himself in his room again with his new 'masterpiece'. I think we will have to check in on him later, by the way, he sneaked away a bottle of scotch in his art kit." Bianca lets out a 'hmph' sound at that, Grace ignores it. "Sebastian is hiding from Oscar in Reed's room. Reed is playing obnoxiously loud music with his guitar outside of Oscar's room to 'help him with his inspiration'. The twins are being weird, like always. I also have no idea where Aven and Ronan are, just that they are together. Again, like always." Grace turns to me. "I can take it from here, Bianca. I think she might need my guidance while getting introduced to everyone." Bianca's eyes find mine. "Will you be okay on your own?" I nod, slightly surprised that she had asked before doing. She smiles at me and leaves us both standing in the middle of the library. "Well, Bella," Grace says, linking her arm with mine while I am distracted, "Bianca has taken you through the pleasant parts of this house like the practiced real estate agent she is." I raise an eyebrow at her, she continues anyway, "Allow me to take you to the reality we live in." She guides me out of the library through a different door than the one I had used to enter with Bianca. We pass through a door that Grace points at eagerly, "That's where we receive most of our lessons." "Lessons?" "Magic lessons, obviously."She takes in my expression, then laughs to herself. "Most of us are underage. Bianca, Julian, and some other half-formed adults attempt educating us." "But you are all-"I stop myself mid-sentence. There were many words for what we were of course, cursed, witches, children of the devil, but the one I heard the most was 'the soulless'. Not sure where that one came from, yet it was still the most well known. Grace stares at me in amusement for a moment. "Magical children? Yes, all of us. Those lessons are optional, though. At least that's what Ronan seems to think." Her voice takes on an edge, and I find myself thinking back to Ronan's voice while I was supposedly unconscious. He had been a bit hostile, very untrusting. "Is Ronan your friend?" Wrong assumption. She bursts out laughing and stops us both mid walk. "Ronan and I are far from friends. I don't think he is the friend kind, except for Aven of course." "Aven," I repeat, "He was with me when I woke up the first time." "He is our best healer, you must have been really injured when you came in." She looks me over as we begin going up a set of stairs. "Aven obviously did his job well." I nod. "He was nice." "Aven is always nice, despite his insistence to hang around Ronan all the time. I fear he might corrupt him eventually." She stops at the top of the stairs. "Amara called dibs on him a long time ago, though, if that's what you are thinking." I shake my head, feeling a blush rising on my cheeks. "No, I just wanted to thank him that's all." Grace looks unconvinced. "You might have to wait a while for a reunion. Aven and Ronan are known for their extended absences." "Where do they go?" "No one knows." I follow her down the hallway. As we travel further down, I begin to hear loud music. Grace grimaces. "I thought Reed would be done by now." A red haired boy I assume to be Reed is standing outside a door. He is holding a guitar in his hands that is connected to a speaker which he has pressed against the door. "Would you kindly f**k off?" The voice can barely be heard through the music, but the anger in it is unmistakable. "I am just trying to give you some inspiration, Mate."  "The only kind of inspiration you are giving me is the one to rip my ears out." "Ouch," Reed replies, but he doesn't stop playing. "Reed!" The music stops with a loud 'tnnn' that makes me wanna cover my ears and drop to the ground for the entire second it's playing. Reed turns around. A 'Thank you, Grace' can be heard from inside of the room. "Oh no, Oscar, you come out here as well." Reed's eyes are on me as a clattering can be heard from inside the room. The sound of glass breaking followed shortly by 's**t' is enough to put a smile on my face. Oh how easily I find myself falling into old habits. My smile won't last, it never does.  The door opens. Oscar, I assume, comes out with a frown on his face. His eyes are on the guitar Reed is still holding. He turns a sickly sweet smile to Grace. "What is it you want my darling Holy Grace?" Grace returns the smile with equal sentiment. She pushes me forward slightly. "This is Bella, she got here last night." "Bella," Oscar repeats, staring me up and down, "Fitting." I blink as Grace rolls her eyes. Reed punches Oscar in the arm. "You are gonna scare the girl away with your creepiness." "That hurt. You have to stop laying injuries on me. Aven is never around to save me nowadays." Reed ignores him and turns to me. "Welcome to the house, Bella. Oscar doesn't speak for all of us so don't be discouraged from meeting the rest." I nod. "I'll keep that in mind." "So what's your affinity?"Oscar asks. Reed looks as if he wants to hit him again, but then he stops himself and turns to me as if curious as well. I tilt my head at them. "What?" Grace grabs my arm and pushes me behind her. The gesture reminds me of Veronica, how she had stood in front of me when we went out to avoid the glares some people sent my way. I feel my energy stirring at the memory. I quickly rid myself of the thought. "Seriously? You can't have one normal question for our newcomer." "It's perfectly normal to ask,"Oscar insists. Reed gives Grace an apologetic look but nods as well. "What's an affinity?" I ask again, genuinely curious.  Grace sighs. "You know about your energy, right?" She doesn't wait for me to respond before continuing. "All of our energies have their uses, but there is always one thing we can do better than the rest. That's your affinity. For Aven, that's healing, Ronan is destruction. These inconsiderate idiots are asking if you know yours." I feel my mouth form an 'o' shape. "I don't know." Not technically a lie, as I couldn't be sure about anything, but the way my energy wrapped itself around my father's memories always felt natural somehow. Also, whenever a thought was strong enough I always felt it responding.  "Not even a clue?" I shake my head. "Julian will help you figure it out tomorrow," Reed assures me, "Are you rooming with Grace?" "I think so." Reed nods to himself. "Good, she's had a room to herself for far too long." Grace huffs. "Hardly as much as Oscar has. How long has Sebastian left the room because of his obnoxious art fits?" "I see no need to attack me, Gracie, Reed here is the one who threw shots at you."  "Whatever, do you know where Thea and Amara are, I want to introduce Bella to them before I take her to the room." Oscar looks around the hall as if Thea and Amara were going to spontaneously appear out of nowhere. Reed follows his gaze. Eventually, Reed shrugs. "Have you tried the rooftop?" Grace pales. "I was trying to avoid that actually." "Oh come on, Gracie, it isn't as tall as it looks. You are more likely to break your legs than your neck if you fall. Depends on how you drop of course." Oscar's grin is mocking. Grace glares at him. "You can always leave that introduction for tomorrow. Sebastian is right here." Grace and I turn at the same time. Sebastian's black hair is standing up in several different places. He seems to be wearing sleepwear, though it is possible that I am mistaken. His mark isn't as obvious as most. It's on his neck, a rise of skin that could be mistaken for a scar if not inspected closely. I had become very familiar with markings. Cassandra had taught me well.  He doesn't even look at me for long before turning to Oscar. "You are the most horrible roommate a man could ask for. And you," he turns to Reed, "Did you seriously have to blast that music even when knowing I was trying to sleep?" Reed is quick to defend himself. "It's five in the afternoon." Sebastian glares at him. "Do I look like someone who cares about what time it is? I only wanted a few moment of peace to sleep in. Neither of you allowed me that. So, thank you very much." Grace clears her throat. Sebastian turns the glare at her instead. "You are giving a horrible first impression, Sebastian." Sebastian stares at her for a moment before finally turning to me. He rubs his eyes sleepily and waves. "Ronan said there would be someone new. Hi, I am Sebastian." I wave back, though the gesture makes me feel stupid. "I am Bella." "Huh, Ronan gave me the impression you'd be a lot more hostile." "Yeah," I mutter awkwardly, "I wasn't exactly lucid at the time of our meeting."
 "Understandable."  "How did you even talk to Ronan anyways?" Oscar intervenes. What is it with these people and Ronan? Didn't they all live in the same house? How come it was so rare to speak to him or even see him? I needed to find out. "I didn't." Sebastian leans against the wall and tries to pat his hair down with his hand. "I just overheard him and Aven talking while trying to find a place to sleep in yesterday." "Did you hear anything interesting?" Grace prods, seeming just as interested as Oscar now. "No. Aven was too tired after healing this one so he told Ronan to shut up. I was too focused on trying not to laugh after listening to anything else." Reed pouts. "I would have liked seeing that." "Wouldn't we all?" Grace stays silent for a while. Then, she seems as if she realizes something and turns back to me. "Sorry, Bella. I am a horrible tour guide. I am gonna take you to the rest." "I think I've met enough people for today. Can we go to the room? I would like to sleep." Sebastian grins at me, his eyes still half-closed. "You and me both, Bella. Maybe these idiots will actually stay quiet for you." "It's five in the afternoon," Reed repeats, his expression incredulous. "And Bella literally just woke up." "I technically woke up two hours ago. Julian wanted to meet me before you." "Besides, by the way Bianca went to Aven instead of Thea, she was probably badly injured," Sebastian defends, though I sense he is doing it for himself as much as me. "Therefore, rest." Reed sighs and lifts his speaker. "Be like that then. I expect Oscar to be held up to the same standards of decency." "He can take his artistic inspiration to the rooftop if he doesn't accept it."  Oscar crosses his arms over his chest. "If Sebastian stops being a drama queen and comes back to the room I might." "Well, Bella," Grace says, taking my arm. "We better leave them to decide on that." I follow after Grace to the end of the hall. There, we turn left and pass through two doors before Grace opens one. The room is larger than any other room I've ever been in, even my sister's. Then again, we weren't exactly well off. It wasn't new to me that I had been kept from many luxuries.  The walls were painted a dark red color. There were two beds, though one of them looked as if it had never been slept in. There was a window at the end of the room that allowed a view directly to the forest. The sight of it is enough for me to be awfully aware of it and the energy it was transmitting.  Grace follows my gaze. "Yeah, I feel it too. You get used to it." She goes to the closet close on the left side of the room. I can barely see what she is doing as I have already started moving closer to the window. I sit on the ledge, bringing my knees to my chest. My mother had boarded my windows shortly after the incident. She didn't want anyone to look inside and see me, their living breathing shame. I suspected she also knew how I liked to stare out due to the pull of the forest. Its energy was even stronger here than it was in the city. "Here."  The calling quiets and I turn to Grace's voice. She is holding out some folded blankets and a nightgown. I grab both, feeling the fabric of the nightgown between my fingers. It's soft. "Emm." "It's mine. I don't think you brought any luggage with you, right?" I shake my head, too stunned to speak. No one besides Veronica had ever given me anything. "Thank you." Grace doesn't seem to notice the years of meaning I seem to put behind that phrase. She waves offhandedly. "You can keep it. I have plenty." I hadn't realized how desperate I had been for a gesture like this until this moment. Grace has already looked away from me but I am still clutching the nightgown as if it's the most precious thing I have ever had. It's simple, white, and will most likely go down to under my knees. Grace is about three inches taller than me. Still, it means a lot more than it probably should. My mind goes back to Cassandra for a moment, my deal with her, with them, and what it could mean for everyone in this house. I didn't deserve this nightgown. Grace opens a chest at the end of her bed, taking me out of my thoughts with the noise it makes as the lid hits the bed. I almost look away until I spot the symbol of the tree etched in the side of the chest. "What's that?" Grace looks up from whatever she is grabbing. "What?" "That symbol, what does it mean?" She lowers her head to look at what I am referring to. "Oh, that's the tree of the reborn. Julian says it's the largest and oldest tree in the forest. We found it fitting to make it the symbol for our institution since many of us are 'reborn' in a way when we come here." "How so?" Grace's expression becomes solemn. "We aren't wanted out there, Bella. I don't think this is news to you. This is the first place I've ever been accepted in. If you let it, this could be that place for you too." She finally pulls out a book out of the chest and snaps it shut. "I have to go return this book to the library and search for Thea. Hope you get some rest." She leaves the room and closes the door behind her. I look down at the nightgown I am still holding. This is the first place I've been accepted in. When I was little and receiving glares an innocent child should never be in the vicinity of, a place like this came to me in my dreams. How different would my life have been if I had come here earlier? If you let it, this could be that place for you too. It could have, I suppose. I think it really could have. Alas, Veronica had been enough for me. I've had my fair share of acceptance from her. Too much of it, considering the way that had ended for her. That stage of my life was over. What comes next is not something that I would expect anyone to understand, much less accept. Even with that thought in mind, I am still extra careful as I put on the nightgown, as if I believed the fabric would come undone if I clutched it too tightly.
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