30-year-old BOYS

Chapter 9 - Feel the love muscle

Chapter 9 – Feel the love muscle

Why you being so sexy right now?

~ Huang Lau

Soft. It’s what Daniel has become. He’s become soft.

He used to be a shrewd, calculating multibillionaire who thinks with logic, not with emotions. Yet he changed when he met Huang Lau. All the walls that Daniel has put up over the years crumbled in the presence of Huang’s carefree attitude. Daniel started entertaining emotions he did not have access to prior to meeting the chinky, priapic Hung Lau. To Daniel’s delight and utter fascination, he found himself smiling more, laughing harder, and getting a boner harder than the bone of his thick skull…all thanks to Huang.

But to see Lau with another guy—let alone a younger man—left Cheng with a feeling of hurtful betrayal, a sharp stab of spiteful pain, a feeling that is almost incomprehensible that it’s crippling and debilitating to the point that Daniel felt numb, tired, and hopeless. It is not a good feeling.

Compared to Huang, it is harder for Daniel to be rational because he has never processed such strong emotions before. He always thinks with his brain, and not with his heart. But recently it’s the reverse, and the emotions have overridden Daniel completely, clouding his judgment, making him think less as the all-consuming power of jealousy turned him into a green-eyed monster. The more he embraces the promise of love, the more he feels abandoned, because he knows it’s over. And whatever they had has no chance of becoming more.

You’re a billionaire, Daniel. You can buy any man you want he thinks to himself as perspiration darkens his yellow tank top, clinging against his toned body as he does sit-ups with his back laying over an exercise ball. He is determined to get hard again if not harder than before, and no, not to get hard below the waist, but hard with his physicality, and most importantly, his persona.

He’s become too soft for his own liking and he wants to get his mind back in shape. He was way too close to losing himself in Lau’s false promises that he’s determined not to let that happen again. Screw the fact that I’m a 30 year old virgin he thinks as he does repetitive crunches to work his abdominals. Daniel doesn’t give a crap anymore. He just wants to have himself back. His old self, before he became a sappy, giddy, lovestruck fool for love.

Warm light is spilling through the windows as Daniel feels the burn in his abs, with his lungs respiring hard for oxygen with every challenging sit-up. He is treating emotional pain as a toxin he needs to expel from his body through sweat, and he believes that exercising helps him accomplish just that. Though try as he might, in his mind he’s still trying to rationalize the many reasons as to why Lau would betray him. But nothing logical comes to mind, because no matter how much thought he gives it, emotions can’t be easily rationalized.

Man doesn’t think emotions. He feels them. And this is what Daniel needs to learn, because he’s stuck rationalizing emotions instead of acknowledging them. But for now, all he knows is that he felt used, betrayed, and discarded. Damn him. I can find someone better he thinks to himself as he performs more sit-ups to get his mind and body back into shape.

Hard. It’s what Lau has become. He’s become hard.

And no, thinking and emotions has nothing to do with him being hard at this moment. He is literally hard as he secretly watches Daniel do sit-ups. Lau is hiding in a corner as he observes his 30-year-old billionaire all sweaty and seductive wearing gym shorts and a flattering tank top.

Huang is in the gym at the same building where Daniel resides. Huang followed Daniel home after seeing him leave work an hour past lunchtime.

Huang had to fight tooth and nail to find Daniel because Daniel banned his chinky ass in places where they would most likely meet. Lau is so confused by all this that he felt like he needed to reach out and ask what the hell is going on with his Baby D. Lau is concerned because the spark between them fizzled out when Daniel started sending messages accusing him of cheating and being a chinky, effing asshole; and the said accusation made Huang more determined to find out what the f**k Daniel is on about. It’s driving him nuts just thinking about it.

Lau is deeply hurt because Daniel went the whole nine yards banning him in social circles, not allowing him entry like he’s a child molester or whatnot. But Huang is not putting up with the s**t any more. Not even security could stop Huang, because if there’s anything Lau’s good at, it’s his devilish way of penetrating just about anything…pun intended. And he sure penetrated security with his charm, sweet-talking the lady behind reception to give him a pass so he can sneak up to where Daniel’s high-rise apartment is. But just when he was about to go up, he saw his Baby D, working up a sweat in the gym. And so here is now; watching, waiting, assessing, thinking how best to make a move without prompting Daniel to call for security.

With a breath of courage, Huang makes himself known, “Can you wear a different shirt, please.”

Daniel stiffens, knowing immediately who the voice belongs to. All the emotions he is trying to put away are coming back in waves, crashing into him like a tsunami and he can’t stop the feeling, “Why are you here?” he asks without looking at the man who is now standing in front of him, dangerously close between his spread legs, “When you’re asked a question, you answer,” Daniel repeats impatiently as he feels something heavy form thick inside his chest.

“You banned me, Daniel. I’m like an escaped convict out there with nowhere to go. How do you expect me to reach out to you when I can’t even see you? s**t, you don’t return my calls. You don’t text me nothing. And if you do it’s to tell me that I’m an asshole,” Lau crouches to meet Cheng eye-to-eye, “You’re making me sick, Daniel. Sick in my stomach because you just took off like I didn’t matter to you, and f**k! Please wear a different shirt Buddhammit!”

Daniel sits up from being splayed on the exercise ball, “What’s your problem?!”

“It’s…it’s your f*****g shirt Daniel! Why’re you wearing that f*****g shirt!?”

“What!!?” Daniel explodes in fury, “What’s wrong with my shirt?!”

“Wear something else, please.”

Daniel rises and shoves Huang out of the way, “f**k off. You tell me to change what I’m wearing when you get to wear that!” he pushes Huang again and it makes Huang seethe with annoyance, “So now it’s only you who gets to wear tank tops huh?! The f**k!”

Huang rubs his face, clearly agitated, “Please, just do what I say.”

Daniel’s brows knit together, “I don’t understand! What is it with wearing a tank top that’s pissing you off? You’re stupid.”

Huang purses his lip, stifling anger, “It’s turning me on,” he murmurs softly.

“W-what?!!”

Lau looks away, huffing air, “It turns me on,” he repeats in a hushed whisper.

“I can’t believe this,” Daniel throws his hands in the air, “What we’re having is hardly an adult conversation and you tell me that what I’m wearing turns you on? That is so stupid,” Cheng pulls a towel and drapes it around his neck, his feet taking heavy steps as he contemplates whether to bail out and run, or face the man behind him, “You know,” he snaps and turns with a look of rage, “I almost believed in you. And that’s what hurts me the most. That I’m so close to…” he stalls because constricting pain grips his heart. And the pain hurts with every heartbeat as he looks at Huang who’s wearing a confused look on his face, “There. That look you have,” Daniel points, “That look of innocence like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m so close, Huang. So c-close to—”

“What!? Loving me??”

A hard slap was released, making Lau reel back in a daze, “f**k,” Huang grits his teeth, his face heating up as he absorbs the sting of Cheng’s punishment, “Do that again and I swear I’ll take you down Cheng!”

All it took was another slap and Daniel found himself thrown against the wall with his wrists vice-gripped by Huang’s debilitating touch, “You slap like a girl,” Lau says, his face inches away from Daniel.

“Let go and I’ll try again.”

“Stop it Daniel! Just stop it! I didn’t cheat on you. I’m not who I used to be, alright!? I changed. I f*****g changed because of you! I am now tamed. I’m tamed, Daniel! You just don’t see it because you’re just as wild,” Lau’s voice breaks and he feels the cold touch of desperation wrap around his heart at the sight of Daniel fighting him and his love, “I’m not doing anything, Daniel. I’m not who you think I am. Not anymore,” Huang can feel his eyes watering with tears but he gives it no mind. If vulnerability is going to win Daniel back then so be it. Damn his masculinity and whatever pride he’s got left. Daniel is more important.

Daniel looks at Huang with eyes that are blank and it makes Lau die inside because the man he loves is so close yet feels so distant, “Daniel, I said goodbye to that life when we deleted our Grindr accounts. Do you know how hard that was for me? Daniel, I’m a nobody. I got bills to pay. I’m not proud alright? I’m not proud for renting myself. So you have to understand how desperate I felt when you ditched me like a rag, like I’m useless. You don’t know what it’s like Daniel because you grew up with a roof over your head and a rich family who provides for you.”

“You’re a manwhore! A rentboy! You are a good for nothing son of a b***h and you used me!”

“Daniel, stop fighting me! Please, just listen to me, please…” Huang’s grip loosens and Daniel takes the opportunity to backhand Lau’s face, making Huang burst into tears at the pain of Daniel’s action, “Y-you slapped me again!! What the f**k!”

“I didn’t slap you! I b***h-slapped you, you little b***h!” Cheng screeched, shoving Lau off of him, “What the…why are you laughing? What’s so funny!?”

“You said you b***h-slapped me,” Huang chuckled, his face reddening and pulsating with glee, “You b***h-slapped me. You’re such a girl sometimes. Don’t even deny it.”

Daniel feels his face turn up into a quiet smile. He tries to fight it. But no matter how much control he thinks he’s putting out, he also laughs like Lau, “You’re an asshole,” he says, more calmly this time, “I still hate you,” he adds, kicking the ball stubbornly with his foot, “I hate you so much.”

“I hate you too, Daniel. I really do. But I love you more.”

The next thing Daniel feels is the touch of Huang’s lips which are bruising his with wild affection. Huang’s hands are possessive and clingy and desperate as he wraps them around Daniel’s back, groping and traveling down to places to cop a feel and a squeeze of his buttocks, making Cheng mewl like a hormonal teenager into Lau’s hot mouth. Nothing is making sense right now as Daniel equals the intense, growing emotion that his bad boy feels for him. He’s never kissed a man like Huang and it’s making his brain foggy and his spirits limp. He is pure teenage sensation as he grasps Huang’s hair fiercely, exchanging tastes with his tongue as he opened his mouth even more to give Lau better access.

Huang clasps Daniel’s face and pulls away breathing heavily, “I love you Daniel. I really do. I love you and I won’t let anything, or anyone come between us.” Everything that doesn’t make sense suddenly did as Cheng opened up and wrapped Lau in his arms. Daniel’s fruitless anger, his boiling rage, and any feeling of betrayal he has for his 32-year-old bad boy suddenly drains away from his soul as he clings to Huang’s body heat.

Daniel feels a different kind of security with Huang, a feeling that no bank account can equal. Huang feels the same way, and that the more he loves Daniel, the more he feels love for himself.

“Daniel. Forgive me. I’ll explain—”

“Just shut up. Shut up and kiss me.”

Daniel said mean things, made Huang feel ice cold even. Yet…Huang feels so warm. And it’s Daniel. Daniel makes him feel warm.

Why do I feel so desperate for your touch? Daniel thinks as he cries into what he believes is his first kiss…or so he thought, not knowing that the man he’s kissing passionately is the same five-year-old he kissed, back when it’s 1986.