Fading With Time

Chapter 15

Anything Can be Rationalized

                They ended up talking longer than Elizabeth had thought.  She couldn’t believe that she had forgotten to eat all day.  She had ended up in such poor condition because of it.  She had originally wanted to eat and get right back to the boxes, but the longer she spent with Pamela the less in a hurry she was.  This was something she had been missing her whole life.  Now that she had the opportunity she was reluctant to let it go.

                “I’m afraid if I leave something will happen to you?”  Pamela whined hesitating at the door that evening.

                “Nothing’s going to happen.  I promise.”

                “I would feel better about going if I knew someone was here with you.  What if you’re not quite better yet?”  Pamela tried to persuade her.  Elizabeth had to giggle at her reaction.  By the older woman’s behavior anyone would think Elizabeth a child, not able to take care of herself.

                “I’ll be fine.  I promise.  It was an honest mishap.”  Pamela looked at her doubtfully pouting at her.  Her expression turned to one of aggravation scaring Elizabeth slightly with the speed of the turn.

                “Of all the times for Ryan to be gone.  Exactly how was that boy raised because I certainly didn’t teach him that.”  She huffed out stamping a foot for punctuation.

                “Please don’t be mad at him.  We’ve all been a little obsessed with the family that lived here.  Isn’t it also part of his job to travel and view things?”

                “I know.  I just wish he were here to look after you so I wouldn’t have to worry so much.” 

                “I’m a grown adult, I don’t need a keeper.”

                “I know.  Call me selfish but I want to keep you in this world for as long as possible.”  Elizabeth chuckled nervously as images of her dreams to the past clouded her mind.  She hid it as best as she could not wanting to give Pamela any other reason to fear leaving her side.

                “Not to worry.  I don’t have any plans to do otherwise.”  Pamela looked her over with a smidgen of doubt in her eyes.  Sighing heavily, she pulled Elizabeth in for a tight embrace.  Elizabeth sagged with relieve as the subject was dropped.

                “You have my number.  Call if you need anything, even if it’s just someone to listen.”  Pamela instructed as they both pulled away.  She nodded solemnly hiding the warmth spreading through her chest at the other woman’s words.

                Elizabeth waved from the porch watching as Pamela backed down her drive.  She understood what she was feeling inside.  She would often experience it when her father was still alive.  It was odd to her though that she would have it with anyone else.  It must be what it felt like having a mother around.  The thought was very grounding.  It also caused her to wonder what her life would have been like if her own mother had lived.  Would she have a family member left?  Could her father have even gotten through the loss of her brother if he had had his wife by his side?

                Elizabeth shook the depressing what if’s away.  It was no use dreaming of the life she could have had because she was never meant to have it.  She was about to reenter the house when Dewy found her standing on the front porch.

                “They’re all up.”  Mustering up as much of a smile as she could at the moment she followed him around the house to the back.  What she saw brought out a genuine grin.  The posts were lined up on either side of the freshly laid gravel pathway that led from her back steps to the new building.  It was still an incomplete picture as the structure was still under construction and not yet finished.  There was enough of it there however to paint the scene for her.  It was serene and yet a bit melancholy too.  Perhaps that was due to her current frame of mind, but it didn’t matter to her.  She was instantly drawn to the aesthetic of it which pleased her to no end.

                “It’s amazing.”  Her praise brought a light blush to Dewy’s cheeks as he puffed up a little taller.

                “You have a lot of ground back here with a lot of potential to really make it something.”  Elizabeth could understand what he meant as the two of them surveyed the yard in the fading evening dusk.  It was too bad she owned more of a black thumb then a green one.  She supposed she could hire a landscaper but then she would also need a gardener too.  She would hate to turn her yard into a peaceful paradise only to have her kill it all off in half the time.  She had no plans for such additions for the time being however and didn’t know if she ever really would.

                “Maybe a project for another day.”  She shrugged her shoulders.  Dewy nodded in agreement looking over at the building that was under work.  Elizabeth followed his gaze with her own.  There were already so many things in the works in her life right now that taking on anything else would stretch her attention too thin.  It sounded like a believable enough excuse to her that she planned on using it if anyone else made the same observations he had.  As an artist she could appreciate the beauty in nature but that didn’t mean she found enjoyment in participating in creating it.  She never understood how people found gardening a relaxing task.

                The last of the workers had trickled away for the day and Dewy followed not far behind.  He gave her a friendly wave goodbye before walking back out to the front leaving her alone in the back yard.  Standing on the patio in the light of the closest lamp gave Elizabeth an eerie feeling.  She hadn’t been by herself in the yard since the night she had found the hidden sheds.  She definitely hadn’t opted to stand out there in the dark either.  Shivering with the creeps she quickly made her way through the back door.  Just inside the entrance the crew had placed one of the two-way switches that controlled the back-yard lights.  The other light switch would be placed inside the door of the new building.  Reaching up she flicked it off watching as the world outside plunged into darkness.  She closed the door behind her and silently made her way through the house.  Thank goodness the crew had been kind enough to put secondary switches for the main rooms at the back of the house as well.  It saved her from having to work her way to the front room in complete darkness.  It was one of the additions that Dewy and his contractor had thought of that she was thankful for as it brought her a little comfort. 

                Since she had eaten not long ago consuming more food than she normally would at a sitting due to Pamela’s hoovering, Elizabeth was far from being hungry.  She not only felt it was too early to turn in for the night, but she found she wasn’t really tired either.  There was energy coursing through her offering her a second wind.  She paused momentarily on the stairs leading to the second-floor hesitating in what she wanted to do.  At first she had debated finishing up with the small crates she had started earlier before Pamela had come over.  Due to the experience she had had though she was reluctant to go back in there.  She could always finish it up in the morning when the sun was out and there were people around she would be able to call out to if needed.  In truth she had other plans for the evening.  Something she had been itching to do since earlier that day anyway.  The boxes would wait because this couldn’t.  Once Jan’s and Elizabeth’s art project got underway, there were bound to be more late nights then not.  If she was really going to appease her curiosity she needed to do so now.

                Walking up the stairs and over to the attic ladder she hoped the crew had finished the electricity up there.  She hadn’t the forethought to grab a flashlight before heading up and didn’t want to go all the way back to the first floor for one now.  Peeking her head through the floor of the room she allowed her eyes to adjust to the lack of light.  She was pleasantly surprised to find finished walls up around the room.  The one closest to the attic entrance held a switch which she assumed was to light the main room.

                Walking over carefully she flipped the toggle up squinting as bright yellow light flooded the whole area.  Blinking rapidly Elizabeth rubbed at the moisture that had gathered in her eyes to protect her from the sudden onslaught of brightness.  Looking around her she was giddy with awe.  The crew had managed to not only wire the large attic but also put up walls to hold the outlets.  She was floored by the sheer number of them she saw around her guessing that Elliot had overshot his number on purpose.  It was better to have too many then not enough she supposed.

                Standing in the middle of the room she tried to figure out the most likely room that Annabel would use for her hiding place.  She felt silly even considering the problem as the likelihood of it really happening was rather slim.  She was up for seeing it through if for no other reason then to prove to herself it had all been a figment of her imagination.  She looked left then right weighing the possibilities of each side room.  Finally, she settled on the one to the right.  Her only justification for the choice being that most people are right-handed and would probably choose right naturally.

                Entering the small side room, she was surprised to find a bare bulb with a chain hanging from the ceiling.  Elliot had told her he hadn’t instructed anyone to run electricity to either room.  Apparently the contractor had made the choice to at least put in a fixture.  Pulling the chain, the bulb flickered to life illuminating a room vastly different then the one she had left.  There was no drywall on the bare studs and no outlets added either.  The crew had drilled a tiny hole through the wood to run a wire inside.  From there they had stapled it down to the wooden stud and then done the same along a beam above her before affixing a fixture to attach it to.  She would have to check the other room out too but had little reason to believe they would do one room and not the other. 

                Turning in a slow circle she surveyed the area.  She wasn’t even quite sure what she was looking for or if she would know if she found it.  The only part of the room that was finished at all was the hardwood floor that had been scuffed and scared over the years.  Nothing appeared to be out of place, however.  Relief filled Elizabeth as she reached back up to turn the light back off.  Exiting the room, she faced the other hidden room that stood open across the attic.  It looked darker in appearance than the one she had just exited.  It had to be a trick of light or something she thought.  She reluctantly made her way to the other side of the room.  Pushing aside any doubts she had to the back of her mind she reminded herself that if she didn’t at least look she wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.

                Inside she found the same light fixture suspended from the ceiling in a set up much like the other room.  With the darkness illuminated she was able to glance about ready to write the whole thing off.  Again, the walls of the room were unfinished.  This time however there was something about the room that kept niggling at her.  Like she was seeing what she had been looking for but not really seeing it at all.  The feeling was beyond frustrating.  Elizabeth thought that as an artist she had a better take on her surroundings then most.  Clearly she overestimated herself.  Trying a different approach, she walked along the edges of the room thoroughly looking each section of wall over before moving on.  The only thing she could really tell about the room was that it had been used more often then the other and even the main attic.  This was someone’s place to be alone she surmised.  The wood floor was more worn and discolored from use.  The boards creaked more from wear.  The frame of the small window was even smooth in certain places hinting at the many times it had been opened. 

                Elizabeth listened to the sound of her feet as she stepped hearing the squeak of the boards beneath her.  She stopped walking in front of the old window trying to puzzle out what she was missing.  The room had become an enigma and she was determined to pick it apart.  She paced along the short wall as her eyes danced around the room again and again.  Her brain was telling her she is overlooking something important with every pass of the room she made.  There had been no explanation for not understanding what her subconscious was trying to tell her.  Her only excuse was that she had been so concentrated on finding it that she had dismissed it as unimportant at first.  The longer she had paced however the stronger the niggling sensation became before she had been able to figure it out.  The whole floor had made creaking and squeaks as she had been walking that she had not noticed a secondary softer sound beneath all the noise her footsteps had been creating.  When she had stopped looking so hard with her eyes and listened closer to the echoes of the room it became clear.

                Elizabeth took a slow breath deep into her chest.  She let it out shakily as she stared at the floor beneath her.  Crouching down beneath the window she reached out a hand.  Running her palm along the boards looking for what she was afraid was there.  It only took a moment to find the groove to open the little hidden door.  With shaking fingers and a damp upper lip she pulled.