Rejected Under the Moon

Chapter 7

The week after meeting Rowan at the café, I made my decision.

Psychology.

Something about our conversation had unlocked a door I hadn't known was closed. The way he'd spoken about the mind, about emotions and motivations, it had stirred something in me. Not excitement exactly, but curiosity. A quiet hunger to understand.

And maybe, if I were being honest with myself, a desire to understand what had happened to me.

Why Alec had felt nothing? Why the bond had broken so completely on his end while remaining whole on mine.

If I couldn't fix what was broken, perhaps I could at least learn why it had shattered.

I submitted my application on a Tuesday morning, my finger hovering over the submit button for what felt like an eternity. The cursor blinked at me, patient and unaware of the war raging inside my chest. One click. That's all it would take. One click to set my future in motion, to commit to a path that felt equal parts terrifying and necessary.

My wolf paced restlessly beneath my skin. She didn't understand applications or universities or the human need to plan everything. All she knew was that her human was afraid, and fear meant danger, and danger meant fight or flight.

I chose to click.

The confirmation screen appeared, sterile and anticlimactic. Your application has been submitted. You will receive a response within 5-7 business days.

Five to seven days. Nearly a week of waiting. A week of wondering if I was good enough, smart enough, worthy enough of a fresh start.

I closed my laptop and stared at the wall.

Psychology. What had I done?

The first day of waiting was the easiest. I kept myself busy, helping my aunt in the garden, going for runs with Andy and Alexis, pretending that I wasn't constantly checking my phone for emails. The twins noticed, of course. They noticed everything.

"You're going to wear a hole in that screen," Andy commented as I refreshed my inbox for the hundredth time during dinner.

"I'm not…." I started to protest, then sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"You've checked your phone several times since we sat down," Alexis said mildly. "Not that anyone's counting."

"I'm counting," Andy added with a grin. "It's entertaining."

I set my phone face down on the table with more force than necessary. "I just want to know, that's all. The wait is crazy."

"The waiting is part of the process," my aunt said, her voice gentle. "It teaches patience."

"I don't want to learn patience. I want to learn psychology."

My uncle chuckled from his end of the table. "That's the spirit."

But patience, it turned out, was not optional.

By day three, I was anxious. What other universities could I apply to if this failed? Would I have to wait till next year?

I started second-guessing everything. Had I written my personal statement well enough? Had I humanely explained my situation? Had I mentioned the right things, highlighted the right experiences? What if the humans didn't get it?

I didn't have extraordinary achievements to list like them. No club presidencies, no volunteer work, no glittering accomplishments that were remarkable.

All I had was a shattered bond, a broken heart, and a desperate need to understand why.

My wolf grew increasingly agitated as my anxiety mounted. She prowled through my mind, her hackles raised, searching for a threat she couldn't identify. The enemy wasn't a rival pack or a dangerous rogue. The enemy was uncertainty, and you couldn't fight uncertainty with claws and teeth.

I went for a run that evening, pushing myself harder than I should have. My lungs burned.

My muscles screamed. But the physical pain was easier to bear than the mental anguish. I couldn't fail again.

So I kept running until my legs gave out and I collapsed against a tree at the edge of the house.

The moon hung low on the horizon, a silver sliver that offered no comfort. Back home, the pack would be gathering for the evening meal. Alec would be there, sitting at the head table with his family, laughing and talking as if nothing had changed. As if I had never existed.

Did he ever think about me? Did he ever wonder where I'd gone, what I was doing, whether I was okay?

Probably not.

I pressed my forehead against the rough bark and let myself cry.

Day four brought rain, and with it, a deepening sense of dread.

I couldn't eat. Every time I tried, my stomach rebelled, churning with nerves that refused to settle. My aunt made my favorite breakfast, blueberry pancakes with fresh whipped cream, but I could only manage a few bites before pushing the plate away.

"Christy." Her hand found mine across the table. "You need to eat something."

"I can't."

"The letter will come when it comes. Starving yourself won't make it arrive faster."

I knew she was right, but knowing and feeling were two very different things.

The rain continued throughout the day, drumming against the windows in a relentless rhythm that matched the pounding of my heart.

I tried to read, but the words blurred together. I tried to watch television, but I couldn't focus on the plot. I tried to nap, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw rejection letters stamped with red ink.

We regret to inform you...

'Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you admission...'

'Your application did not meet our standards...'

The imaginary rejections played on loop in my mind, each one more devastating than the last. What would I do if they said no? What would I do if this path, the only path that had felt right in weeks, was closed to me?

I had thrown all my hope into one basket, and now that basket was sitting in some admissions office somewhere, being judged by strangers who didn't know me, didn't care about me, didn't understand what this opportunity meant.

My wolf howled, long and low, and I let her. We were both lost. We were both afraid.

Day five was the worst.

I woke up at dawn, torn from sleep by a nightmare I couldn't remember. My heart was racing, my skin slick with sweat, my wolf snarling at shadows that didn't exist. I lay in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling, counting the cracks in the plaster until I lost track.

My cousins found me still there at noon.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," Andy declared, throwing open my curtains with dramatic flair. Sunlight flooded the room, making me wince. "You're coming with us."

I cleared my throat " Where?"

"Out. Anywhere. I don't care if we just walk in circles around the block. You need to get out of this room before you drive yourself crazy."

"I'm already crazy," I muttered.

"Then we need to prevent you from getting crazier." Nolan appeared behind his sister, holding out a jacket. "Come on. Fresh air. Movement. It'll help."

It didn't help, not really, but I appreciated the effort. We walked through town, past the café where I'd met Rowan, past the bookstore where I'd bought my first psychology textbook in a fit of optimistic anticipation, past the park where children played and dogs barked and life continued as if nothing was wrong.

I checked my phone seventeen times.

Still nothing.

"Maybe there's a delay," Andy suggested. "Mail can be slow sometimes."

"It's email," I reminded her. "Email isn't slow."

"Maybe their system is backed up. Maybe they had a surge of applications. Maybe......"

"Maybe they just don't want me."

The words came out sharper than I intended. Andy flinched, and I immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to snap. I'm just..."

“Anxious?" Alexis supplied.

"Yeah." I let out a shaky breath. "Terrified."

They each took one of my hands, as Nolan walked behind, sandwiching me between them as we walked.

"Whatever happens," Andy said quietly, "you'll figure it out. You always do."

"And you won't be alone," Alexis added. "Whatever happens, we're here."

My throat tightened. "Thank you."

We walked in silence after that, but it was a comfortable silence, filled with the warmth of family and the unspoken promise of support. It didn't make the fear disappear, but it made it bearable.

Barely.

That night, I couldn't sleep at all.

I sat by my window, watching the stars wheel slowly across the sky, and thought about all the ways my life could go wrong.

What if they rejected me? What if I stayed here forever, frozen in this limbo between my old life and a new one that might never materialize?

What if Alec was right to reject me? What if I were fundamentally unworthy of love, of success, of happiness?

The thoughts spiraled darker and darker until I had to press my hands over my ears as if I could physically block them out.

My wolf whimpered, pressing against the walls of my consciousness, trying to offer comfort.

It's okay, I told her, even though it wasn't. We're okay.

She didn't believe me. Neither did I.

Dawn crept over the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and gold.

Another day. Another chance to be disappointed.

I dragged myself out of bed and went through the motions of morning. Shower. Clothes. Brush teeth. Avoid the mirror because the circles under my eyes were too dark and my face was too pale and I looked exactly like what I was: someone barely holding herself together.

Breakfast was a blur. My aunt talked about something, gardening, maybe, or the weather and I nodded in all the right places without hearing a word.

The twins exchanged worried glances that they thought I didn't notice.

And then my phone buzzed.

The sound cut through the morning noise like a knife. Everyone froze. My hand trembled as I reached for it, almost knocking over my glass of orange juice in the process.

One new email.

From Oslow University Admissions.

My heart stopped. Actually stopped, for one terrifying moment, before lurching back to life with a vengeance. The blood rushed in my ears so loudly that I could barely think.

"Is it....?" Andy started.

I couldn't speak. I could only nod.

The table fell silent. Four pairs of eyes fixed on me as I stared at my phone, at the little envelope icon that contained my future. Open it, I told myself. Just open it. Whatever it says, at least the waiting will be over.

But my finger wouldn't move.

What if it was a rejection? What if all my hope, all my dreams, all my desperate plans for a fresh start were about to crumble to dust? What if....

"Christy." My aunt's voice was soft but firm. "Whatever that email says, it doesn't define you. It doesn't determine your worth. But you need to open it, sweetheart. You can't move forward until you do."

She was right. I knew she was right.

I took a deep breath. Then another. My wolf pressed close, lending me her strength even though she was just as scared as I was.

I opened the email.

The first word I saw was *Congratulations*.

For a moment, I couldn't process it. The letters swam before my eyes, rearranging themselves into patterns that didn't make sense. Congratulations? Congratulations for what? Congratulations couldn't be right, because I had prepared myself for rejection, had armored myself against disappointment, had....

*We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Psychology program at Oslow University...*

I read the sentence three times before it sank in.

Accepted.

I had been accepted.

I was worthy.