Thinking Brighter Though

Once Upon a Time.

Adeba, it was him, Ale. The guy with a black shirt tucked inside blue trousers, with the bizarre color of red shoe, we laughed about. It was the same as him that afternoon. That day, my elder brother was playing loud reggae music inside his room and we were sitting very close to each other under the mango tree. I could smell the jollof rice you ate before coming, chatting about our ideal future husband, and we saw him riding a bike and he took the rìsk of removing both of his hands from the bike to blow me a kîss, by resting both of his fingers on his lips and blowing, meEwehe!

Yes, it was him, Ale, the guy that was always laughing and with a very odd contagious smile. The guy with that shinning espresso pigmentation. The guy with those dimples you had always insisted that he could steal wine with them. And it was the same for him. You told me the day that you came to our house feigning the cry that you were hungry, was the one who made you like diastemata and any day we saw him, you would be like, "Ameo, see what they call gap teeth."

It's very strange how we always met him, but I didn't tell you what happened the day that you went to the village to see your parents. I won't lie by telling you that I forgot it. Nobody forgets anything like that. It's just that I thought it wasn't the right time, especially when I found out that you also like him. But I think this is the right time. It was under that same orange tree beside mama Eki's joint, that place that we'd always gone to collect money from drunk men just after a hug. It was under that tree that I saw Ale. He was, just as usual, riding a bike, but that day was different. Ale stopped his bike just a few inches away from my feet.

My time is limited, and for that reason, I will not tell you that he kissed me, or that he told me that I'm beautiful and that he loved me; I will only tell you that when Ale left that orange tree and hopped on his bike and took off with that charming speed, we'd always none him with, we had started to date.

The day that you asked me why I hardly had time for you. Asking me what happened. I will answer that question today, sincerely; everything happened. We were doing that time and I'm sorry, even because it is no longer necessary, that I love him so much. And he also loved me, I thought.

On the thirteenth of last month, in the evening, at 5:54, it rained heavily; it was also flooding in my life. But with my attitude, which you know very well, I always have difficult times easily and it wasn't different when Ale told me, after I'd told him that I would like our relationship to lead to marriage, that it was over. I cried that day, but that was after we'd fought for some time. When I was going home that day, my composure was back to its very best. When I reached Ekot bank, I even blew a kiss to that notorious md man who couldn't pronounce anything but my name.

When I entered Meffij Street, I helped a woman lift her load to her head. When I reached the junction, I held an old woman's hand and crossed the main road with her. When I crossed the road that snaked to your people's house, down to that nursery school, I responded to all the children's greetings, by stopping and touching and, slightly, pulling their cheeks, each, and asking them their names, which they did happily. When I reached our house, Adeba, I cooked. But it wasn't edible. However, my parents were happy because that was a development. From that day, I continued to cook and I'm your best cook now.

The following day, I was sitting inside my mother's shop when my younger sister arrived.

"Amoh." That was what she had always called me. "I saw your boyfriend today."

"Shhhh," I hissed to her, with my index finger placed vertically on my lips. "Do you want mummy to hear you?" I asked, stretching my neck forward, and whirling my head in every direction, looking for my mother whom I knew wasn't around. I just wanted to stop because of my sister's teasing.

"Sisi, Amoh, look.....you knew that mom wasn't around because I saw her on the road while coming here and from the conversation we had, she said that she was going to cook while you were staying in the shop. So you knew that she wasn't around." She went inside the shop and took out our mothers chair which she wouldn't have had a second look at if her mother had been around. She lifted her gown and sat with her undìes on the chair while her gown covered the chair like a fowl laying eggs.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, obviously knowing what she wanted.

"I want you to tell me about your boyfriend, because the way he looked at me when I saw him today, was so strange."

"You must be joking." I laughed. "But I'm not talking about him."

"You must tell me or......" She looked at me, lifting her eyebrows. "You know nah. Maybe when dad or mom asks you who Ale is, maybe then."

"That day will be really great," I said. "I will be telling them about Ale and you will be by my side, sitting with your head downcast, telling them about that white fellow." I smiled.

"You know Dokin?" I just smiled again, this time it was more of a laugh, because I was only guessing, I never knew that something was going on between him and my sister.

"So you have been spying on me?" My sister stood up and walked outside, throwing her head this way and that way with a feigning cry. I laughed with my heart in my mouth. She saw Ale and he was angry? I don't understand. Maybe she was joking. I would ask her later in the night when we got home and chat in bed, after our mom came to check if we were sleeping and we feigned sleeping.

I couldn't talk to my sister in the night, so as soon as I woke up, I woke her. I tugged her arm and led her to the orange tree which was in the center of our compound. It was strange and startling. The timing, when we reached the mango tree, was the exact time the car came to a halt before us. Ale stepped out of his Lexus ES 350. Then, I don't know what happened to me, but I jerked forward and hugged him. And while I lowered my head, afraid to look him in the eyes, he kissed me on the forehead.

He made a marriage proposal to me that day, in front of my parents, and I accepted. Both of my parents were laughing. Even my sister was grinning with all her teeth exposed. "I'm happy for you," she said. Ale told my parents that he was coming for the introduction ceremony tomorrow. He said that he loves me so much that he can't wait to have me all for himself. My parents accepted.

And while he wrapped his hand across my waist and led me to where his car was packed, none of us said anything to each other. He just kissed my forehead and said, "I can't wait for us to go home." He entered his car and drove off at the speed I knew him.

As soon as I saw that his car had disappeared into the distance, I ran inside to meet my parents.

"I'm not marrying him," I said to my parents.

"Why?" My father asked. And my mom repeated that same question. Even my junior sister asked me that same question, with a grin, thinking that I was joking.

I just whirled round and went to my room.

And up till now that I'm writing this to you, I still haven't found the mouth to tell my parents and my sister, or my brother when he comes back, that Ale is dèad.

I kîlled him that day that we fought.