Chapter 2: Trying To Move On
1187 Words
Lila’s POV
“Still in bed?” Talia, my cousin brought me back from my sad reveries. “Are you not going to the shop today?”
I sighed “hhhhmm”
“I hope you are ok?” Talia asked, expressing concern.
“I’m not.” I said, cupping my wet face with my palms. “Do you know that today is making it eleven months and thirteen days since Axel broke our bond.” I said with heavy heart.
“Not again…I thought you have gotten over him and his betraying mother and sister?” Talia said exasperatedly.
“I've tried…Talia, I've tried to, but it has not been easy.”
“See, Lila you have to move on. You can't continue to like this. For crying out loud, it is almost a year.” Talia said as she handed me a cup of hot coffee.
“Talia…” I was about saying something but, I couldn't find the words to express my feelings.
Talia has been like an angel sent from above after for the past couple of years. She was the one that came to my rescue after attempting to commit suicide for the third time. It was at point, when my life was meaningless to me.
I didn't leave immediately after Axel broke the bond between us. I hung around, hope that one way or the other he would changed his mind. I called, begged and even stalked him for weeks. I ended up making a fool of myself most of the time. But I didn’t care. I cried my eyes out everyday. I didn't want to believe that I wouldn't be spending the rest of my life with Axel. My fated mate, just because of concocted lies from Greta and Ma Morgana.
Things got worse for me the moment I found out that Axel has gotten another mate. How could he moved on so quickly? He should have waited for me to prove my innocence. “This is not fair.” I cried.
Despondency took the better part of me. I started eating excessively like a glutton. I no longer care about maintaining my pretty slender shape anymore. What was the point in keeping nice shape when the man you were doing it for has rejected you? I completely lost myself.
Low self esteem and series of panic attacks became regular occurrences in my life. I tried as much as I could to avoid people. I deliberately isolated myself from people - even my loved ones. I couldn't think straight as a result of brain fog.
Alcohol became one of my coping mechanisms. Every night after drinking to stupor, I cried myself to sleep. I was losing it. My parents and siblings became embarrassed with my nonchalant lifestyle. I didn't really care.
“Lila, despite the fact you were rejected by Alpha Axel, just know that we still love you and care about you.” I remembered how those words from my mum used to give me relief - albeit temporarily.
When the the emotional pain and embarrassment was too much, I had to abandoned my family and flee from everything that had to do with the Shadowfang pack community. A community that I've known all my life.
For the past couple of months I've been trying to rebuild my life, by squatting with my cousin, Talia, in this boundary town, far away from the Shadowfang pack community. The pastries shop business I started, has not been doing badly.
I've stopped drinking for sometime now. I couldn't even remember the last time I tasted alcohol. A month? Or two months ago? I’m not sure.
I've started working on reducing my weight. It has not been easy, but I think this is best I could do in order to come out stronger and better.
I still don't understand why I'm feeling despondent this morning over a sad incident that happened almost a year ago. I thought I have gotten over him. I could feel the faint signs of panic attack as my heart started beating fast.
“Lila?” Talia said why staring at me with concern. “I hope all is well? Are you ok?”
I wiped the breaking sweat from my brow. I stared at Tali's soft brown eyes and smiles. I wondered whether I would still be alive today assuming she didn't came early from work on that fateful Tuesday after I slitted the veins on my left wrist with a knife. That was my third suicide attempt. Truly, Talia is my guardian angel!
“Talia, don't worry, I am ok.” I said reassuringly. “Why should I be thinking of Axel now? He has gotten himself a second mate.”
“Axel has moved on, I've to move on too.” I said trying to sound strong while deep inside I was struggling not to burst into tears.
“I pray the Moon Goddess will show mercy and give you another mate that would be better than Axel.” Talia said with a tone of anger in her voice.
“I don't think I would interested in settling with any mate right now.” I said ruefully while rubbing the streaks of dark scars on my left forearm. I smiled sadly as I remember how I got those dark scares. After I found out that Axel had gotten a second mate, I spiralled into nadir of despondency which led me to start harming myself. My dark days!
“Don't worry the Moon Goddess will give an alpha that will too good for you to refused.” Talia said smiling.
“I…hhhmmm.” I tried saying something but, I am not in the mood for argument this morning. Talia should continue dreaming in her fantasy world.
“Ooooh…I’m late - it is already six-thirty.” I said in shock after checking my watch as I quickly rolled out of my bed, flinging the pink duvet away. “My customers would be waiting for me. I have alot of baking to do this morning.”
As I hurriedly stepped into my pastries shop, I almost did not noticed the hulky figure of a man sitting at the far end of the shop. He was wearing his usual dark jacket and brown hat that almost concealed his face. This is not the first time I've seen him in my shop. The few times he comes around, he buys his coffee and donuts and quietly leaves.
Curiously, he appears not to be in a hurry today. I waved at him.
“Hello…Good morning” I said, smiling.
He raised his head and stared at me for a moment with a bloodshot eyes, I could see the scary scare on the right side of his face. There is something menacing about him. My heart skipped a bit.
“Sorry…who…” I trailed off as it appears that I was speaking to myself.
He turned silent to his cup of coffee and donuts, totally ignoring me as if I wasn't there.
I ran into the back of the pastries shop in fright.
- Writer
