I sat down on the edge of my bed for a long time after Aunt Nana left the room. The water she brought was still by my side, untouched…. My hands started to shake again, but I tucked them under my thighs to make them stop. And for some reason, my thoughts kept going back to Jayden, to the sound of his voice screaming in my nightmare, and to the way my chest felt like it was going to explode with every breath.
My son was somewhere in this same New York City… alone… scared… and may even or probably be calling my name in reality.
I covered my face and let out a loud, trembling exhale.
I couldn’t keep allowing myself to fall apart. Falling apart wasn’t going to bring him home. Crying wasn’t going to save him. Breaking down wasn’t going to help. This whole back and forth had to stop.
Immedi
