Asphalt Moon

Chapter 13: The Cabin's Secret

Morning came cold.

The cabin's windows were frosted. The fire had died to embers. My breath puffed white in the air.

I sat up. My back ached. The bunk bed was too short and my feet hung off the edge.

Cade was already awake. He stood by the window, coffee in hand, watching the trees.

"Anything out there?" I asked.

"Just deer. And a lot of birds."

"Good. I hate surprise visitors."

He smiled. "You and me both."

Nellie was still asleep on the top bunk. One arm hung over the edge. She was snoring. Loud.

Damon was outside. I could see him through the window. He was doing stretches. His dog was chasing a squirrel.

Carmen sat by the dead fireplace. She was braiding her hair. The gray streaks caught the dim light.

"You're up," she said.

"Couldn't sleep."

"First night in a new place. Always hard."

I sat across from her. "So. Training. What's first?"

She finished her braid. Tied it off.

"First, breakfast. Then we talk. Then we fight."

"I can fight."

"You can swing a wrench. That's not fighting. That's reacting." She stood up. "I'm going to teach you to attack. To anticipate. To use your size."

"My size?"

"You're small. Quick. Most wolves are big. They expect you to run. If you move into them instead, you confuse them."

"Move into a wolf? That sounds like dying."

"It sounds like winning."

She walked to the small kitchen. Pulled out a cast iron pan. Started making eggs.

I watched her. The way she moved. Easy. Confident.

"How long were you in the Circle?" I asked.

"Fifteen years. Since I was sixteen."

"And you left?"

"I walked away. Took a beating for it. But I survived."

"Why did you leave?"

Carmen cracked an egg. The shell fell into the pan.

"Because I saw what they did to a girl like you. Marisol. The one I told you about." She didn't look up. "She was fifteen. Scared. Alone. They tied her to a stone altar and cut her throat. Her blood ran into a bowl. They drank it."

"Then what?"

"Then the moon came up and nothing happened. She died for nothing. There was no power. No transformation. Just death." Carmen finally looked at me. "I buried her myself. In the woods. No marker. No ceremony. Just a hole in the ground."

I didn't know what to say.

"So when I heard about you," she continued, "I knew I couldn't let it happen again. Not to Maria's daughter."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Just learn. So you don't end up like Marisol."

Breakfast was simple. Eggs. Bread. Coffee.

Nellie finally woke up. She stumbled to the table, hair sticking up in all directions.

"Food?" she asked.

"On the table."

"Bless you, Carmen."

"I'm not blessed. I just know how to cook."

Nellie ate like she hadn't seen food in days. Damon walked in. His dog followed. She sat by the fire and wagged her tail.

"Training starts now," Carmen said. "Everyone outside. Even the dog."

The clearing behind the cabin was small. Surrounded by pines. The ground was soft with fallen needles.

Carmen stood in the center. Arms crossed.

"Lena. You're up."

I walked to the middle. My hands were empty. No wrench. No tire iron.

"First lesson," Carmen said. "When a wolf attacks, it aims for the throat. Always. You have two hands. Use them."

She shifted. Fast.

Her wolf was smaller than the others. Lean. Gray and brown. Her yellow eyes locked on me.

She lunged.

I didn't have time to think. I dropped. Rolled. Her claws scraped the air where my neck had been.

I scrambled up.

"Good," she said. "Again."

She lunged again. Faster.

This time, I didn't drop. I stepped forward. Into her. My shoulder hit her chest. She stumbled. Surprised.

I grabbed her neck. Held on.

She twisted. Shook me off. I hit the ground hard.

"Better," she said. "But you held on too long. You locked up. Wolves are stronger than you. You can't win a grapple."

She shifted back. Helped me up.

"Your strength is speed. Hit and move. Never stay in one place."

"Got it."

"Show me."

We went again. And again. And again.

I fell. I got up. I fell again.

Cade watched from the porch. Nellie was picking pinecones and throwing them at the dog. Damon sharpened his knife.

By noon, I was bruised. My ribs ached. My shoulders burned.

But I was faster.

Carmen nodded. "You learn. Good."

"Thanks."

"Thank your mother. She was the one who figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

Carmen looked at the cabin. "She stayed here. When she was pregnant with you. She lived in this cabin for six months. Alone."

"She lived here?"

"In this room. In that bed. She painted the walls to pass the time." Carmen walked to the cabin. "Come. I'll show you."

Inside, Carmen pulled back a rug in the corner.

Underneath, the floorboards were different. Newer. Like they'd been replaced.

She knelt. Pryed one up.

Underneath was a small metal box.

"Your mother's," she said.

I knelt beside her. My hands were shaking.

"Open it."

I lifted the lid.

Inside were letters. Dozens of them. All addressed to me.

My hands shook as I picked one up.

Dear Lena,

If you're reading this, you found the cabin. That means you're in trouble. That means the Circle found you. I'm so sorry, mija. I wanted to protect you from all of this.

I'm writing these letters so you know the truth. About me. About the wolf. About the Circle. I'm not going to be around to tell you myself.

I love you, Lena. More than the moon. More than the wolf. More than anything.

—Mom

I read it again. And again.

The letters were years old. Written before I was born. Before she knew if I would be a wolf or human.

I held them to my chest.

Carmen put her hand on my shoulder.

"She loved you. More than anything."

"I know."

I tucked the box under my arm.

Then I turned to the others.

"Tonight," I said, "I'm reading every one."

That night, I sat by the fire.

Cade was next to me. Nellie was on the floor. Damon was outside with his dog. Carmen was asleep in the corner.

I opened the first letter.

Dear Lena,

Today I found out I'm pregnant. Your father doesn't know yet. I'm scared. Not of having a baby. Of having a baby the Circle will want.

I'm leaving the pack. Leaving everything. I'll go to the cabin. Stay there until you're born. Then I'll figure out the rest.

I promise, mija. I'll keep you safe.

I read it twice.

Then I opened the next.

And the next.

The letters were a journal. A record of her months in the cabin. Her fears. Her hopes.

I painted the walls today. Yellow. It's not my color. But it's a happy color. I want you to grow up happy.

I wonder what you'll look like. Your father has brown eyes. I hope you have his eyes. Or mine. Either way, you'll be beautiful.

The wolves are restless. I can hear them at night. I think they're close. I think they know I'm here.

I opened the last letter.

Dear Lena,

I can't stay here anymore. The Circle found the cabin. They're coming. I have to leave. I have to keep you safe.

I don't know if I'll survive this. But I want you to know that I fought. I never stopped fighting.

Be brave, mija. Be kind. And when the moon rises, don't be afraid.

I love you. Always.

—Mom

I closed the letter.

Cade put his arm around me.

"You okay?"

"No. But I will be."

"You sound like her."

I looked at him. "What?"

"Brave. Kind. Fighting." He smiled. "You're exactly like her."

I kissed him.

The fire crackled.

Nellie pretended to sleep.

And somewhere in the woods, a wolf howled.

But it was far away.

Not tonight.

Tonight was for letters.

And for my mom.