Unexpectedly Yours

Chapter Four

By the time I finish feeding Amelia, she is already drifting off to sleep.

I gently lay her down and watch her for a moment, making sure she is comfortable before I finally stretch my tired body on the bed.

What a day.

I pick up my phone from beside me and begin scrolling through it, moving from one app to another without really paying attention to anything.

Then I see his contact.

Kelvin.

For some reason, I pause.

I stare at his name for a few seconds before opening our chat. My fingers hover over the keyboard.

What am I even supposed to say to him?

How are you doing today?

I type the words, read them, and immediately frown.

Seriously, Susan?

Why am I even thinking this much about a simple message?

I delete it.

Maybe I should ask how work went. Or thank him again for letting me leave early yesterday.

But wouldn't that sound like I'm looking for an excuse to talk to him?

I drop the phone on the bed and cover my face with one hand.

Oh, my goodness.

It's just Kelvin.

My boss.

The same Kelvin who helps me with Amelia whenever I'm busy at work. The same man who has been there for my daughter since she was born.

So why am I laying here, struggling to find the right words to send him?

I turn my head towards Amelia. She is sleeping peacefully, completely unaware of the unnecessary battle going on in her mother's head.

Sometimes, I wish things were different.

Sometimes, I wish Kelvin were Amelia's father.

The thought comes so suddenly that I sit up a little.

No.

I'm not going there.

I don't want to think about the past. I don't want to remember things I've worked so hard to put behind me.

Whatever happened, happened.

And I have Amelia now. She is all that matters.

I pick up my phone again, close the chat, and switch it off.

Enough thinking for one night.

I need to sleep.

Tomorrow will come with its own stress, its own responsibilities, and probably another round of Amelia reminding me that I am not the one in charge of my own life.

I smile faintly at the thought, turn onto my side, and close my eyes.

Kelvin can wait.

At least, that's what I tell myself.