have I one more session before my break time, I’m waiting in my office when Hannah finally arrives.
“Hello, Hannah! How are you today?” Hannah always wears her hair down, it’s dead straight, she keeps it like this because her mum used to wear her hair the same. She’s dressed in her uniform, a white short sleeved blouse, tights and a skirt. She’s holding her dark blue cardigan and her dark blue book bag.
“I’m okay, wow you look really pretty.” She smiles at me and plops herself on the comfortable spiny chair, she’s already swaying in it.
“Aww thanks Hannah, so, what do you feel like doing today?”
“I want to draw my dream last night.” I help her choose the colours and paint; I was about to ask her what size paper she wanted to use. “This is so cool! Did you draw these Lisa? Or- was it that tall man that just left who drew these?”
“Yes, it was Erin who drew those, I was helping him to decide which themed costumes he wanted for his party this weekend.”
“Oh really? That’s so cool! I wish I could have a costume party, but daddy says our house is too small for parties.” She’s staring at the one of me, “Wait, this is you, oh my god he’s really good, you look beautiful, I like the way he wrote your name. I think you’re gonna look so good when you go to his party dressed like this.”
“Yeah he drew me and my friend Michelle in two separate outfits, these were only ideas for the theme, he is really good at art, he drew them so quickly you know, during our session.”
Hannah’s light brown eyes widen, her mouth wide, “But these looks like they took ages to do, I really like the one of Michelle as well. I think she should wear her hair down like this. If he hasn’t invited you guys yet, he will because you both will look so beautiful at his party.” I smile at the little girl, she’s so sweet.
“Hm, so tell me about your dream last night, did you get to see the person’s face this time?”
“No, they were too far away, but I know they had really long hair.”
“What like yours?”
“Hmm no not really, but this time she wore a dark gown and she was standing to the side, it was really blurry to make out, but it looked like she was floating, her wings were black.”
“What was her gown like?”
“It looked shinny. Silky, it feels like I know her somehow, but I can’t think of anyone I’ve met that reminds me remotely of her.”
“You don’t think it could be your mum in this dream?”
“No, I’ve had dreams of my mum and she’s always so close to me, she always hugs me, but this person, she’s so distant but each time I dream about her she gets closer to me.” That sounds really creepy… Hannah has begun to paint the black gown, it’s kind of reminds me of how a dress designer would do it. She paints the dress on what looks like a mannequin, because she’s not sure what the person looks like. But she begins to draw the hair, she pauses looking doubtful for a second.
“I think I’m gonna draw hair that looks like yours, your hair is really pretty, I’m gonna try and copy what he did in this picture of you.”
“Okay if that’s what you want, thank you by the way.” I smile at her and she gives me a quick smile back.
“Lisa, can I tell you a secret?” Her cheeks are a little flushed I wonder what it is
“Yeah of course you can.”
“And you promise not to tell my dad?”
“I am only supposed to tell your dad things that concerns your safety, does this concern your safety?”
She whispers “Well not really…” She leans forward and puts a hand to the side of her face as if to whisper.
“Well of course you can tell me, that’s what I’m here for and I promise to keep your secret.” Her hair glides forward covering the sides of her face like a curtain.
She says really fast “I have a crush on a boy.” I try to conceal my smile but it’s so wide, her eyes are wide and she’s looking past my shoulder.
“What’s his name and what does he look like?”
“I thought you’d tell me I’m too young to have a crush.”
“Actually, I had crushes on boys at ten as well, and so did some of my friends, so it’s really not as strange as you think, it’s actually pretty normal.”
“Daddy says we’re too young to have crushes and that if he finds out I have a crush he’s gonna embarrass me in front of them so that they don’t get any ideas.” I actually couldn’t help but laugh at that, Hannah just smiled awkwardly.
“Sorry Hannah, it reminds me of pretty much every dad I know, my dad included. No dad likes to think of his little princess with any guy, they like to feel as though they’re the only guy that is allowed in your life. Believe it or not that is actually pretty normal, so what’s his name?.” Hannah sways her head from side to side slowly considering, she then blushes covering her mouth.
“His name… is… Dylan!” We both burst out laughing “He has blue eyes and brown hair; he has freckles and…” She burst out laughing, she’s rocking back and forth in the spiny chair and swaying quickly from left to right, she’s clearly cringing but it’s so funny to watch her like this I start laughing.
“Aww that’s really sweet, is he nice to you? Is he in your class, wait does he sit next to you?” I feel like a child again. I don’t know how children tend to bring this side out of me.
“He’s really kind, he lets me borrow his rubber, and last week he asked me if I was feeling better because I wasn’t in school on Thursday, and we sit next to each other. We write funny notes to each other when Miss Patel isn’t looking.” Hannah wasn’t in school on Thursday because she was in her session with me.
“Aww he does sound sweet, haha, I miss my primary school days, although I used to get into trouble a lot.”
“What!? But your so kind, so like do you have a crush Lisa?” Her light brown eyes glisten she rests her chin in the palms of her hands. I smirked looking at my long nails.
“Haha well we tend to change as we get older, I got better and actually began to take my education more seriously. I liked the quote from the Cinderella movie ‘have courage and be kind’ so I started to live by that idea. The last time I had a crush, well was quite some time ago…”
“What about that guy?” Could she mean? “What is his name? He looks nice well actually he looks very handsome..” She covers her face and starts giggling.
“Oh, haha you mean my other client… His name is Erin.”
“I bet he likes you Lisa and I bet you like him.” I smile awkwardly, Hannah looks at me resting her chin back into her hands
“He’s my client, like you so he’s a friend, anyways I really want to see what you’re painting will look like once it’s finished. I bet Dylan likes your art.” She blushes and smiles looking back to her art on the table, she picks up her pencil and draws Erin’s drawing closer to her.
“I wonder if he likes the lady with red hair, Michelle. Dylan asked me to draw spider man once he really likes Spider man, he said he’d hang it on his bedroom wall.” Aww that is actually so cute.
Hannah tells me about school, she’s joined a nice new circle of friends and she says they make her feel happy, she loves playing with them. They apparently pretend to be the different ponies from My little pony. Hannah says she’s Pinkie because she loves the colour pink, she said she might change and become Applejack because she loves apples. She concentrates really hard on her painting, she manages to capture the curls really well, for just a ten-year-old she’s so good, I can’t get over how talented these children are. She tells me she misses her mum so much, she gets a little teary, so I give her a tissue and a hug.
“I miss her hugs the most, daddy got really angry when I took her perfume, but I just wanted to feel like, like…”
“You wanted to feel like she’s still there.” I say quietly, Hannah dries her eyes.
“Daddy sprayed some of her perfume on my teddy, so that every night I can snuggle up to her smell again.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, it makes me feel better, daddy also gave me some of her Jewellery to look after until I’m old enough to wear it.”
“Maybe you should get a locket so that you can always wear your mum close to your heart and look at her whenever you want.”
“That’s a good idea! I’ll have to ask my school if that’s okay because we’re not allowed to wear necklaces.”
“Yeah you should ask.”
The painting is finished, it looks really pretty, it still reminds of a faceless mannequin but it’s beautiful.
“Wow that’s beautiful.”
“It’ll look better once I know what she looks like.” Hannah doesn’t look satisfied with it; she holds it in one hand and puts it back down.
When our session is over I take Hannah back to her dad who sits in the waiting room, He has blonde hair and brown eyes, he’s pretty young maybe twenty-eight, which would’ve meant he was young when he had Hannah.
“Thanks Lisa.” He says softly
“Can I speak to you for a quick moment Matt?”
“Yeah sure, Hannah please stay here.”
“It’s alright I’ll sit with her.” Michelle is walking over to us; she had just finished seeing a client.
“Thanks Michelle.”
We leave Michelle and Hannah giggling about something.
Matt follows me into my office.
“Hannah wants to feel close to Claire, so I thought about talking to the school and asking if it’ll be okay for Hannah to wear a locket under her shirt with a picture of Claire. How would you feel about that?” Matt has his hands in his pockets, he wears a black top with an open checked black and grey blouse over it with dark blue baggy jeans. His eyes are appearing hazel in the sunlight compared to Erin’s that are icy blue.
“Yeah I like that idea, Hannah is always trying to bring something to school of Claire’s, I’m just worried she’ll lose something or break it..” There’s a pause, the warm energy emerges from the pit of my stomach and begins to seep out of me. The energy feels warm and magnetic.
3rd narration:
Lisa is leaning one hand on top of the chair that still holds her jacket now dry, her hair is more voluminous due to the rain, giving her a tame but wilder look. Her shoulders and arms are bare. Matt is trying to be civil, but his eyes examine her shape and the way the dress clings to her curves tightly. He’s mostly drawn to her chest, he looks into her eyes, they’re big and bold, he feels very drawn to them, he blinks a few times to break the spell he’s under. Her lips are parted and glossy dark red.
“Uhm.. Yeah..” He says softly almost a whisper, he clears his throat and adjusts his top, finally composed” Hannah has got better at looking after her things, I’ll talk to her teacher about it tomorrow when I drop her to school.”
Lisa narration:
“Great, how are you holding up Matt?” He looks slightly out of it, I’m trying really hard to suppress my energy, I feel it radiating off of me like heat does to a flame.
His eyes are definitely on my lips right now, for f***s sake.. I need to make it stop
“I’m-Okay, I think, just been working and-“His sentence is interrupted with a knock at the door, Marea pokes her head in
“Lisa I bought some biscuits for break, make sure you get some before they’re all gone.” She smiles at me and glances at Matt, she gives him a quick nod and darts back out.
I walk Matt out to Hannah, we say goodbye and I head inside the staff’s room with Michelle, we sit on the cream sofa with a cup of coffee and green tea.
I show Michelle the drawings that Erin did of us, she’s amazed by them.
“Wow! I’ve never had anyone draw me before, I can’t believe he did these in that one session. He’s really good. I don’t get why he didn’t just draw you in both.”
“He probably got bored, he did get a good look at you earlier today, I think that’s where he got the idea to give you a bright red corset.” I start laughing, thinking about how exposed her red bra was underneath her shirt. She rolls her eyes at me, but her cheeks have a slight pink hue. “Is this what your hair looks like out?” I watch her bend down to look at the drawn image of her, her hair falls forward as she looks, it’s undeniable right down to the wave pattern, Erin was able to capture it perfectly.
“Yeah” She almost whispered it. “That’s exactly what my hair looks like down… It’s as though he’s seen my hair down before.”
“Girl that is uncanny.”
“It really looks like he drew these in person; he made you look like a seductive pirate.” She giggles looking me up and down.
I looked at the images, it was undeniable how good his art was, it was strange it was as though he made the images come to life, it was as though he copied two photographs the accuracy was on point. I peered closely at the image of me, is that… I look at my collarbone, then back at the image, right in the corner of my collarbone I have a small diamond like birthmark, it’s so faint but it’s definitely there.