Luscious Man Series 3: Danrev Blade Montillo (R18+)

KABANATA 15

KABANATA 14

Hindi ako makapaniwalang si Ajax ang nasa harapan ko… hindi makatingin sa akin habang ako naman ay parang tangang masama ang tingin sa kaniya. Sumasagot pa rin naman ako kapag tinatanong o kapag kailangang magsalita. kapag kinakausap.

“I was so worried yesterday that Ajax might not be here because he declined me the last time I informed him we’ll meet you.” Ajax’s mom said in a calm and soothing voice.

“Yeah, he’s been very busy that’s why we’re worried. And he’s not really into… this kind of arrangement. He doesn’t want to be paired up since then.” Ajax looked at his dad with a scowl.

I gritted my teeth. So why he’s here now? Ano? Change of mind? Suddenly want to attend this f*****g meeting para malaman kung sino ang babaeng ipapares sa kaniya ngayon? I hope he doesn’t changed his mind of not wanting to be paired up, because if he does changed his mind now… I’ll forever be angry at him.

Kaya ba naroon siya sa party ni Daddy dahil invited ang parents niya sa party na ‘yon? At… siya ang tinutukoy ni Daddy that night.

Matagal na ba siyang may ideya rito? Matagal na ba niyang alam o ngayon lang din kagaya ko?

“Excuse me, I’ll just use a restroom,” sambit ko at hindi na hinintay ang sagot nila, tumayo ako at dumiretso sa restroom.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at pagkatapos ay tinitigan ang sariling repleksyon sa salamin. I’m as red as tomato. Not because I’m flushed of something exciting but because of anger.

Gusto kong umiyak sa prustrasyong nararamdaman pero alam kong hindi ito ang tamang oras at tamang lugar para riyan. I think… I’ll cry when I’m alone… again.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago lumabas ng restroom. Natigil lang nang makita ko si Ajax na nakahilig sa dingding habang nakahalukipkip. He was in a deep thought when I saw him. And when he notice my presence, he immediately looked up and straightened his back. Inalis niya rin sa pagkakahalukipkip ang mga braso at umambang magsasalita pero naunahan ko.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? We see each other almost everyday at school, why didn’t you tell me that you are the guy my Mom’s talking about?” then I remember I never opened this things up to him. “Alam kong nakausap ka ng parents mo tungkol dito. At alam kong kilala mo ang mga magulang ko. I never knew it was you their pairing up to me. But you knew, from the very beginning. Noong sa party pa lang, for sure alam mo na. Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?” I said, accusing him for not mentioning this to me.

He sighed, “hindi ko alam na itutuloy nila ito. I knew it was you. Nang sinabi pa lang ni Mommy ang pangalan mo at na anak ka ni Gov, I already knew. Pero… maniwala ka, hindi ko alam na itutuloy nila ang arrangemeng na ito. My parents are kind of influential… na paniguradong magagamit ng magulang mo para manatili ang Daddy mo sa posisyon. Our company’s helping Local Governments with things, in terms of helping people. They support— sponsor those in needs of help. Na paniguradong gugustuhin ng magulang mo dahil nasa mataas na gobyerno ang tatay mo.”

I looked at him — no, I am glaring at him. “Bakit hindi ka tumanggi. For sure, Government can give enough help to the LGU. Dad doesn’t need to do this…” nanghihina kong sambit.

Tumango siya. “I know. Pero… hindi lang din naman ‘yon ang gusto ng Daddy mo. At ng mga magulang ko. Ang mga kompanyang hawak nila… it can expand if they merge.”

Napapikit ako nang mariin.

“I don’t want to marry you, nor be involved in this f*****g arrangement. I already have a boyfriend. You know that. I am not up for marrying someone I don’t love. Gusto kong… gawin ang mga bagay na gusto ko pang gawin nang hindi nakatali sa kung sino man. We’re still young. We still need to grow more.”

Tumango siya, naiintindihan ang ibig kong sabihin.

“I know that. Even me… ayaw ko ring matali sa ganitong edad. Ang bata pa natin. Siguro naman… mapapakiusapan pa natin ang mga magulang natin. I can’t make myself force you into this s**t of an arrangement, that’s why… I will help you talk to our parents to not continue this.”

I appreciate his cooperation. Sana lang ay totoo ngang gagawin niya iyon. I couldn’t bring myself trust anyone that easily, but I’ll hold on to his words.

“I hope you’ll keep your words. Because I don’t like… betrayals.”

I smiled and walk passed him and sighed heavily.

Buong dinner ay hindi ako ngumingiti nang maayos. Puro pilit ‘yon at kadalasan ang pag-irap ko. Yes. I want Ajax’s parents to be turned off to my not-so-good attitude. I want them to back down. I don’t want to marry their son.

Nang matapos ay para akong nakahinga ng maluwang dahil sa pagtayo ng mga magulang ni Ajax at gano’n ang mga magulang ko. Masama ang tingin ko kay Ajax na iniiwasan lanh ng huli.

“I hope you get along with my son well, Veatrice. I really like you for my son,” ani Mrs. Villegas.

Tumaas ang isa kong kilay pero hindi nagsalita. Tumayo ako at kinamayan na lang sina Mrs. and Mr. Villegas, gano’n din ang ginawa ni Ajax sa magulang ko.

Hanggang sa makauwi ay tahimik ako. Contemplating everything, I felt tired all of a sudden. Kahiy wala naman akong ginawa roon kung ‘di ang umupo, tingnan ng masama si Ajax, makipagplastikan sa mga magulang niya, sumagot kapag tinatanong. ‘Yon lang.

“You’re too silent the whole dinner, Vea. And I don’t like that. You’re not yourself earlier.” Pangaral ni Mommy nang malapit na kami sa condo tower.

“I’m just feeling tired, Mom. Marami po akong ginawa the whole week kaya po… hindi ako masyadong nakisali kanina.”

“Sabi ni Mrs. Villegas ay sa condo tower mo rin daw nakatira si Ajax? I hope you see each other always. I meant everyday. He’s a good guy, I can see that.”

He’s a good guy, yes. Pero hindi ko gusto ko ang nangyayari ngayon. Wala siyang ginagawa kung ‘di ang sundin ang mga gusto ng magulang niya! I don’t like that!

Nang makarating sa unit ay agad akong nagpaalam na magpapahinga na ng maaga. Aalis din agad sila bukas ng umaga dahil marami pang kailangang gawin si Daddy sa Cebu.

I looked at my ceiling, thinking about what happened earlier. We’re still young. Hindi pa ako nagpa-planong magpakasal. I haven’t decided for my future. Kasi nagfo-focus ako sa kung ano pa ang ginagawa ko ngayon. And to know that my parents are deciding for my future this early, I can’t help but felt tired already. Paniguradong… makikipagtalo na naman ako sa kanila, mapapayag lang silang h’wag na ituloy ang binabalak nilang pagpapakasal namin ni Ajax.

And as per Ajax, he’s a good guy. He’s nice. He’s handsome. But I only see him as my friend… as a brother. Nothing more.

And I have Blade. I’ve never felt this kind of emotions towards other guy I had in my life. Hindi ko man agad aminin… alam ko kung gaano na kalalim ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya. I don’t want to hurt him with this. I don’t want to decide yet.

At ang sabi naman nina Mommy ay wala pa naman silang napagdedesisyonang buwan o taon, na parang sila ang ikakasal. Damn. I f*****g hate this arrangement.

Tumunog ang cellphone ko para sa isang mensahe. I immediately reached it out to see who texted. Then all my heavy emotions I’m feeling fade easily when I read his name.

From: Blade

How are you? You did not text me if what are you doing.

I smiled at his clinginess.

To: Blade

I’m sorry, I was just busy accompanying my parents the whole day.

Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kaniya sa ngayon kung ano ang totoong nangyari. Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kaniya ang mga plano nina Mommy at Daddy. I’m afraid he’ll get mad… or hurt.

From: Blade

Oh, so you’re tired? You want to rest early?

My smile fade. How can this man… be this gentle towards me? When in fact he’s rude, snob, and not so friendly to others? Bakit ngayon… ganito siya? Mas lalo akong nahuhulog. Mas lalong lumalalim ang pagkahulog ko.

To: Blade

I don’t want to rest yet. I want to talk to you.

From: Blade

Should I call then?

I smiled again and stared at his message. Before I typed in my reply, his big name registered on my screen, he’s calling right now. He wants a video call!

Agad kong sinagot ‘yon. I immediately erased all my emotions and smiled at him sweetly.

“Hi,” I greeted hoarsely.

He’s serious while looking at me at his screen. He’s laying on his bed already. Patay ang ilaw at tanging ang night lamp na lang bukas na mas lalong nagpadagdag ng kung anong karisma sa kaniya habang pinagmamasdan ko siya.

“I miss you…” my heart leap when I heard him said that.

Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko at natulala sa kaniya. Ano bang ginawa ng lalaking ito sa sistema ko?! Bakit ganito?!

“I miss you, too.” I replied sincerely.

He smiled when he heard it.

“You look tired, napagod ka ba pagsama sa parents mo?” he asked casually.

Sobra.

“Yeah, just… their usual routine whenever they’re here. Hindi lang ako makatanggi dahil weekend at alam nilang wala naman akong gagawin dito sa condo dahil wala rin akong gig.” I lied. Maybe in time, I could get to tell him the truth. Sa ngayon na hindi pa naman sure kung itutuloy ba ang arrangement na meron kami ni Ajax ay hindi ko muna sasabihin kay Blade ang nangyayari.

“So… bukas, nandiyan pa sila?” he asked carefully.

Umiling ako, “uuwi na sila before lunch. May ticket na sila pauwing Cebu. May importante lang talaga silang ginawa rito.”

He seriously nodded. I saw how he stopped to think deeply. He just stared at me on the screen. I smiled even when he’s all serious now.

“Can I ask you for a date, then?” napatigil ako sa pag-iisip nang marinig ‘yon sa kaniya. Natulala ako at hindi agad nakapagsalita. “Gabi naman, kaya wala na ang magulang mo no’n. Though, I want to personally meet them. But I know you’re not ready to them about me yet.”

My heart hurt when he said that. I looked at him with apologetic eyes.

“I really want to introduce you to my parents, naghahanap lang ako ng tiyempo.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I can wait, though.” He smiled at me.

Nagpatuloy kami sa pag-uusap. Hindi ko alam pero habang nag-uusap kami ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Habang kausap ko siya nawala ng pansamantala ang bigat na nararamdaman na dulot sa nangyari ng gabing ‘yon.

I fell asleep, while he’s watching me on my phone. I slept peacefully. Na para bang wala akong problemang kakaharapin sa mga susunod na araw, buwan, o taon. Ang inisip ko lang ay si Blade na pinapanood akong matulog, na pinapagaan ang bigat na nararamdaman ko, na handa akong kausapin kahit na alam kong ayaw naman niyang magdaldal. I’m he’s opposite. I like to talk, while he doesn’t want to. I like socializing everywhere or even in parties, while he doesn’t like crowded places or parties. Ako ‘yong tipo ng babaeng ayaw niya noon, pero heto siya ngayon at handang makisama sa akin, handang magsalita para sa akin, handang samahan ako, at handang bigyan ako ng panahon sa araw-araw.

Kinabukasan ay nagising ako na magaan ang pakiramdam. Lowbat na ang cellphone ko kaya chinarge ko ‘yon. Nang mabuhay ‘yon ay agad akong naka-receive ng text galing kay Blade at sa hindi kilalang numero. Kumunot ang noo ko at pinagmasdan ang isang text na hindi ko pa nabubuksan pero sa iilang salitang nagpakita roon ay alam ko na agad kung kanino galing.

Binasa ko muna ang kay Blade at nireplyan. He just greeted me good morning and telling me he’ll be out to visit his parents.

To: Blade

Alright, drive safely. Take care!

Agad kong binura ang susunod sanang mga salita. I know he already knew that, but… it’s kinda weird if I initiate to say that so casually to him.

Huminga ako ng malalim at isinend ‘yon bago binuksan ang mensaheng galing sa isang unregistered number.

From: Unknown Number

I’m sorry for what happened last night. I assure you that I will convince my parents to cancel what they want to happened for us. I don’t agree with fixed marriage as well, and I don’t want to marry someone whose also forced to marry me. I’m sorry for the trouble. I hope you will not cut cords between us. I really want to be your friend, Vea.

His second message was,

From: Unknown Number

I got your number from your mother. She forwarded your number to me when she asked for my number to my mother.

Napasapo ako sa noo ko at umiling na lamang. Bumuntong hininga ako at nag-reply.

To: Unknown Number

I understand, Ajax. Sana lang talaga ay mapakiusapan pa natin ang mga magulang natin na h’wag nang ituloy ang binabalak nilang engagement para sa atin.

Ibinalik ko ang cellphone sa night stand at pumunta na sa banyo para makaligo. After taking a bath and preparing for the day, I got out my room to look for my parents. Alam kong late na ako nagising kaya siguro naghahanda na sila para makaalis at makahabol sa flight nila.

“Tell Vea that we’re leaving. Ayos lang na hindi na niya kami ihatid sa airport. We’ll ride a taxi.” I heard mom said.

Nagpakita ako sa living room at agad niya naman akong namataan.

“Oh, no need na pala. She’s here. Good morning, darling.” She greeted me with her eyes smiling at me too.

I smiled. “Good morning, Mom, Dad. You’re leaving now? Hindi ba maaga pa naman masyado?”

“Mas mabuti nang mas maaga ka sa flight kaysa maiwan, Vea. 11:30 ang next flight kaya kailangan naroon na kami bago man lang mag-alas onse.” Tumango ako sa sinabi ni Mommy.

Hindi nga nagtagal ay umalis na rin sila. Hindi gaanong nagbilin sa akin si Daddy dahil marami siyang kausap sa telepono. May narinig pa nga akong pinapagalitan niya habang nasa veranda siya.

I pretended that I’m sad when they left the condo unit, but deep inside me, I’m celebrating! Damn! That was two hell days with them! Halos tipid ang kilos ko, bilang ang pagsasalita, at hindi man lang ginanahan sa mga nagdaang araw. Depende na lang kapag nagte-text o tumatawag si Blade sa akin saka lang ako nabubuhayan.

I smiled victoriously after I closed the door. I looked at Trouble who’s looking at me like, he too, didn’t liked the idea of my parents being here. I smiled at him and played with his fur.

Dahil sa ginawa kong iyon ay naglumikot na rin siya. Na hindi niya nagawa noong narito si Daddy. Dad’s aura scare him a lot. Kaya kapag narito ang mga kapatid ko, kahit nandiyan si Daddy ay nagagawa ring maglikot ni Trouble. Dad’s really not fond of having a pet inside our house, kaya kahit na akin naman si Trouble, ayaw pa rin niya sa presensya ng mga alagang hayop.

“You miss playing, huh?” Trouble barked twice after I said that. I laugh. “Same!” I replied back to him.

I let him play around the condo unit, I gave him his usual ball and toys. While I was inside my room, preparing myself. Pupunta ako sa condo ni Blade! Bibisitahin ko siya. Hindi niya alam dahil hindi ko pa siya ulit na-tetext bukod sa good morning kaninang umaga. Naligo ako at nagbihis.

After I sprayed my perfume all over my body, I smiled at the mirror. I’m just wearing a simple black sleeveless shirt, high waist white jeans. I partnered it with my black ankle strap pumps. Kinuha ko na rin ang itim na sling bag at nilagay roon ang cellphone, wallet, at ang maliit na make-up kit ko. Kasya naman kaya hindi nagmukhang siksik ang laman ng bag. I let my hair down and smiled again.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at naabutan ko si Yaya na naglilinis ng sala.

“Saan ka pupunta, Vea?” she asked while sweeping.

Napanguso ako, “kay Blade po, Yaya. Babalik ako baka… hmm… mga 7pm or 8pm. Hindi na po siguro ako kakain dito. We’ll have a date.” I grinned at my last statement.

She smiled at me, “oh sige, mag-iingat, ah.”

“Thank you, Yaya! Bye! Trouble, ba-bye!” umalis ako roon ng may ngiti sa labi.

Hindi na ako nagdala ng sasakyan. Nagtaxi na lang ako dahil paniguradong sa sasakyan niya kami sasakay mamaya.

I was already inside the taxi when I received a message from Blade.

From: Blade

I’m out. We have a practice today. Short notice kaya hindi ko nasabi agad sa ‘yo.

To: Blade

Okay :)

Sinabi ko sa driver kung saan na kami pupunta dahil wala naman si Blade sa condo niya.

Wala akong id na dala pero pinapasok ako ng guard dahil madalas naman ako rito sa university nila. I smiled and thanked him before going inside.

Dumiretso agad ako sa gym kung nasaan sila nag-papractice. Naabutan ko nga sila roon, pero hindi pa ‘ata nagsisimula o kakatapos lang ng isang quarter? I don’t know. They’re sweating and just talking to each other. I saw the guy who talked to me in the shower room last time, I forgot his name, he’s smirking to Blade… probably teasing him on something.

Lumapit pa ako lalo, pero paniguradong hindi pa nila ako napapansin. Then, I heard their conversation.

“Akala ko ba hindi mo gusto? Ayaw mo kasi… model at maarte?” the guy said teasingly.

“Shut the f**k up, Dogillo.” Blade said intensely.

The guy laughed. I remembered his name now, he’s Ranjay Dogillo.

“Sabi mo kasi, ayaw mo sa kaniya kasi modelo, maarte, mayaman, madaldal.” Ranjay craned his neck to the side. “O… pumayag ka sa gusto ni Wesley na… pagpustahan?”

Para akong binagsakan ng yelo sa narinig. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ba ang sinasabi ni Ranjay, pero seryoso siya.

“Hindi ba at sinabi ni Wesley na gusto niya si Vea? Sinabi niyang… matagal na niyang gustong pormahan pero hindi siya nakakakuha ng tiyempo. Noong nakita niyang pumupunta rito si Vea, nagtanong agad siya sinong sadya, nang malamang ikaw ang sadya, nagalit. Noong una hindi ko magets kung bakit, pero nang sabihin niyang gusto niya si Vea noon pa dahil sikat… saka ko naintindihan. Then he talked to you. Ano? Pumayag ka na pagpustahan? I heard your conversation with him. You had a bet. Hindi pa ‘ata nakakaporma si Wesley, inunahan mo na…”

Hindi ko na pinakinggan ang mga susunod niya pang sasabihin dahil umalis na ako roon. Isa-isang pumatak ang luha ko pero pakiramdam ko ay namamanhid ang puso ko. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ito. Ngayon ko lang din napagtanto.

Oo nga, bakit parang biglaan naman ‘ata na bumait sa akin si Blade? Samantalang ilang buwan… o halos isang taon niya akong tinataboy tapos isang araw biglang gano’n?

Now I get it.

I thought he’s not like the other men I’ve met. Wala pala siyang pinagkaiba. Hindi man katawan ko ang habol… gago pa rin.