A song for him

Chapter 13

Dillon:

It’s a week from Thanksgiving and I am trying to figure out if I should make the trip to Wells.  My mother is pleading for me to come home and I feel obligated to.  I do miss them, but its never felt like home.  Also, I was trying to stay put in one place this time, even if it hurt me.

Roan was civil when I did see him around town the next couple of weeks, but it was as if it was such a task to speak to me.  I get that I deserved it, but I was starting to feel really miserable about it.  We’d agreed to be friends.  Well, if I had my way, we wouldn’t just be friends, but its what he wanted and I would give him anything he asked of me.

My new job was a blast.  I liked where I was at.  Teaching the guitar was fun and not demanding.  Best part of all, was that no one recognised me from my five minutes of fame.  It felt as if that part of my life had been crossed off the list.  I received my release documents not too long ago.  It felt good.  I also received every cent owed to me in royalties, but was reminded that what happened on tour (meaning all the Lee’s weird habits), stayed on tour.  I didn’t care about the Lee’s and frankly, hoped never to lay eyes on them again.

I’ve moved into a little cottage close to the lake, which was also close to the community centre.  It was small, but cozy and reminded me of the place on Roan’s property.  I figured if I didn’t have him; I at least had some memories.

Winter was a whole different kettle of fish in Benton.  The lake was beautiful.   The lighthouse was covered in ice and it illuminated the sky at night.  I wish I could have seen it from my place.

I’ve tried very hard to keep to myself over the last couple of weeks and its been hard.  Everyone was preparing for Turkey Day and I was still trying to think of where I should go.

Jill and Mike have mentioned before how they always all celebrate together, so I don’t even think of asking to join.

I message Skye and Lily, but they’re both going to their respective families.  Declan and Hank have offered me an invite purely out of pity, I am convinced, but I politely decline.

“Guess its off to Wells this year or it’s a hot meal at the Callum Hotel on your own, Missy.”

I pick Wells.

“Miss D?”  I have the cutest bunch of kids I’m teaching at the centre and there are always questions.

“Yes, Luke?”

“My Dad says he’d love to strum your chords.  I don’t know why he said that, but I said he should get his own guitar.”

Oh my God!  I try not to get embarrassed and thankfully, the few parents who are listening in on the lesson, don’t hear Luke’s comment.

Thankfully, its time to end and we practice a few chords before I send them off.

I pack up and pop in to Declan’s office on my way out, “See you tomorrow, Declan.”

“See ya, Dillon.  Great job this evening!”

“Thanks.”

I walk home every evening.  Its literally two blocks away and its been therapeutic.  That night however, the two blocks seem to take forever with the winter chill and I swear the car that’s driving behind me goes a bit slower, but I pick up the pace and when I eventually get to my little place and open up the front door, the warmth from inside embraces me.  Safe and sound.

I decide to unwind with some Sarah McLachlan on my iPod and a fire going while I indulge in some red wine.

The cottage is quiet and I imagine there wouldn’t be much space for two people to live comfortably, but I doubt there’ll be anyone anytime soon.

The only person who has been over is Jill and she says it beats the one-bedroom she and Mike are sharing.

I try very hard not to think about Roan, but whenever I close my eyes, there are images of him dancing in my mind like sweet torture.

He’s ruined me for every man that comes after him.  I just know it.

I go online and book my bus ticket to Wells.  Its cheaper than driving and I don’t feel like driving across state.  I plan on leaving the night before Thanksgiving and book the bus on Superbowl Sunday.

I then message my Mom to let her know what the plans are.  She asks me if I’m coming alone and I tell her I am.  She sounds almost sad, I think.

God, I wasn’t even twenty-five yet.  Why would she be worried?

After a few more minutes of talking with her, we hang up and I get ready for bed.  The centre is a full time job with very little pay, but its fulfilling.

The main thing is, it keeps me busy.  I don’t have time to think about Roan for too long and when I do, I read his ‘lets be friends’ text.

 Roan:

“Jordan, come on!  You said you’d be here.”  I sound like a punk, but my brother is not skipping Thanksgiving because of some girl who doesn’t want to do the family thing this year.  My brother was coming to dinner whether he liked it or not.  Besides, I did not want to be alone while Mike and Jill fawned over one another.

“I’ll speak to Cassie.”

“Cassie has you by the short and curlies.  Stop being a prick and get your ass down here.”

Thanksgiving was a huge deal for my parents.  We always had someone visiting and Mom always invited someone who she knew never had plans.  This was also the first time I would have my brother here since they died. I imagine Dillon has made plans.  I think about whether or not I should ask her to join us.  I’ve seen her around town.  She’s settled in, it seems.  Mike says she moved out from the apartment.  s**t.  No more info on her from him , I guess.

I’ve seen her walking from the community centre and I have tried to find the courage to stop and say, “Hey, this has gone on long enough,” but I can’t.  I can’t have this woman reject me again.

“Could I bring her along?”

“What?”

Jordan sighs, “Could I bring Cassie?”

“Uh, yeah.  Just get your ass down here.”

“We’ll leave tomorrow.”

Its about three days away from Thanksgiving and I legit can’t wait to get through the holiday.  Mike and Jill are off to a weekend away after Black Friday and I will be the third wheel to my baby brother and his girlfriend.  I try not to think about how I would have not been lonely had things worked out with Dillon.

 Dillon:

“Mom, I am leaving first thing tomorrow after work.  I’ll get to Wells by eight. Yes, I know its not safe at the bus station, but Mom, Dad is the Sherriff there.”  I feel slightly annoyed at her paranoia.

“OK, I love you too.  I’ll see you tomorrow night.  Tell aunt Jess not to start karaoke without me!”  I try to add some humour to what seems like a stressful conversation.

I have packed my bags and have it waiting in the living room, so that when I come home, its just a matter of calling the cab.  I also remember to message Jill and tell her where I am headed before she accuses me of not keeping in touch.

*Call me before you leave tomorrow!  I haven’t heard your voice in forever!*

*Will do. X*

 Roan:

I am, at the indoor market the day before Turkey day and I have Jordan and Cassie in tow, like two little kids.  She whines a lot and I see why the poor kid ignore her when he’s here.  I make a mental note to speak to him and tell him that he doesn’t have to settle down so soon.

We are on the hunt for yams and cranberries.  I have decided to do all the trimmings in an attempt to make it feel like the holiday it used to be for us.

“Do we have to have yams?”  Cassie moans.

“Yes!”  both myself and Jordan almost yell at her.

He rolls his eyes behind her pretty red head.  Hey, kid actually has a type, I notice and I laugh to myself.

He still gets stupid around Jill and I can’t wait to have a bit of fun at Cassie’s expense.

Everywhere I look at the market, there are couples.  What the f**k?  Am I the only sad bastard that is alone for the holidays?   God, I plan on heading to Mexico for Christmas.   Now that’s an idea.

I bet Dillon looks great in a bikini.

Fuck!