A song for him

Epilogue

Summer, 2017:

“You look amazing.”  Jill muses as I step out from the screen in my bedroom.  The sunlight creeps in from outside, the curtains willowing gently in the wind.  I smooth the lace dress over my slightly bulging tummy and smile, “I don’t look hideous?”

“Its our secret.”  Jill whispers.

“Could you two hurry up?”  My Dad is at the bedroom door and ushers Jill out. She looks delightful in her pale pink lace bridesmaid’s dress.

I hook my Dad in and we head towards the deck facing the lawns at what is now my home with the man of my dreams.  Our closest friends and family are waiting with baited breath, but I have been waiting for this for as long as I could dream.

He is beautiful, but what matters most is how much he believes in me.

When he turns to look towards where I stand, I see the love he feels for me and I think I’ll give him his wedding gift a bit earlier.

As I walk up the aisle, his eyes on me all the way there, I feel the colour creep up to my cheeks.  I’ve had a feeling since early in the summer that something was different with me.

My Dad hands me over to the only man I have ever loved and I lean over to whisper in Roan's ear and tell him the news.

He holds me so tightly and then kisses me, warranting a warning from the minister.

Roan being Roan, couldn’t care and kisses me again before telling the poor man to hurry up and get on with it.

Our path was anything, but normal and the only thing I would change is not having gotten here sooner.

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April 2018:

"You're doing great, Dillon.  Come on, baby.  Push."  Roan is standing at the top of the hospital bed, his hands on my shoulders.  I glance up at him, the pain searing through me and causing a muffled curse word or three to spew from between gritted teeth.

I think back to the elation on his face the day of our wedding.  He was absolutely thrilled to be extending our family so soon.  While I was excited, I was scared.  I was still slightly unsure of how long my good fortune would last with this wonderful man.

He did nothing to make me question his loyalty and love, but doubt sometimes crept in, making me act like a completely paranoid girl.  Roan, however, knew that it didn't take much coaxing to assure me.  I was putty in his hands once he laid on the charm.

Things moved pretty quickly from the wedding.  I was working at the center three days a week and close to my due date, I'd brought a Senior from the local high school who was not only a gifted guitar player, but a great singer.  She offered singing lessons on Saturdays and had started a choir for the kids.

Roan's business had grown considerably since the awards.  Home was now a part of the brewery, instead of the other way around.  He'd employed close to twenty new people and Jordan had changed his major to Business Strategy as he was planning to work for Roan once he graduated.  This only saw the brothers becoming closer and spending more time together.  It was great, as it took Roan's constant focus off of me and the baby from time to time.

I had found myself spending a lot of my days off still helping Mike with his books and payroll.  The Livery had begun to take their Open Mic night much more seriously and saw an influx of potential stars on Sundays.  Mike, of course, steered clear of the co-ed's and worshipped the ground Jill walked on.

They were practically married, but Jill strangely enough had turned Mike down upon his proposal.  She felt it wasn't nearly grand enough.  I know she liked keeping Mike on his toes.

"Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen, Dillon!" were her words, I think.

I was happy.  I felt a part of everything.  I belonged in Benton Harbor and it was now a part of me.

"Honey, I know you're cursing me for this right now, but it took both of us, ya know."  Again, with his smart mouth.  I wish Roan would put a sock in it, but alas, "He won't come out, if you don't push."

That was it, "Roan!  If you don't shut up, you can wait outside."

He lifts his hands in response, "Fine!  I'll go." 

I know he's teasing, but panic sets in, "Don't you dare!"

"But I thought-"

"Don't think, Roan.  Just be here.  Please." I say, my voice softening towards the end.

He kisses me on the top of my head, "You've got this, Dillon and I've got you."

Oh my God, I love this man!

Eager to meet the little boy who will probably hold my heart after his dad, I brace myself as another contraction hits and I push.  I grip onto Roan's hands that are back on my shoulders.  He squeezes back, "Come on, baby."

"For a push-present, I want a full-time nanny for this!"

"How about we get him out first?"

"I mean it, Roan!  This kid must have a head as big as yours!"

He let's out a grunt, "Which one?"

"Roan!" I hiss, slightly disgusted and somewhat amused.

"OK, Dillon," my ObGyn brings us back to the here and now, "I can see baby's head.  I'm going to need another big one from you, OK?" I can see her eyes smiling above the facemask.

"Uh-huh." I manage.

The assisting nurse looks to the monitor and confirms the next contraction, "Here we go, Dillon."

"Aaaaaaargh!" I choke out as I push my little baby into the world.  I feel sweet relief as Dr Hendricks reaches down and makes light work of getting him out.  She invites Roan to cut the chord and the look on his face is priceless.  He goes from arrogant jester, to awestruck first-time Dad in seconds.  As she takes care of the placenta, the nurse wraps him in a surgical sheet, and places him in Roan's waiting arms, who then hands our little bundle to me.  I immediately cradle the pink, stony-faced little boy to my chest and all I can do, is weep.  Its a mixture of relief that he's OK, relief that the birth is over, sadness that it's over and joy that he's really here. He's got a tuft of light-blond hair.  His eyes are scrunched closed so we can't get a look at them just then.  Its too early to tell who he looks like, but we're happy he is there and appears in good health.

I look back to Roan and see his eyes welling with tears too.  "He's great, Dillon!  Great job, baby.  I'm so proud and so thankful."

I lean up to kiss him, "Oh Roan, he's perfect.  Look at him!  We made this.  Can you believe it?"

He grins and I know something smart-assed is about to come out of that mouth of his, "Well, he is my kid."

"Thank God you kept it PG this time."  We both laugh.

"Congratulations Mom and Dad." The nurse says as she waits to clean and do the Apgar on our son.  I reluctantly hand him over, an i***t-grin on my face.

"Oh Roan, he's everything to me." I squeeze his hand.

"I know.  Me too, baby."

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Christmas 2020:

"Grey Sandusky!  You put that puppy back in the pen.  I can't have both of you running around here while I'm trying to get lunch ready." The two and a half year old boy I'm trying to look very sternly at, is grinning at me, his shoulder length blond hair, framing chubby, rosy cheeks.  His little hands are holding onto the puppy I reluctantly agreed to getting him just before Christmas.  Roan thought it would calm him down and keep him occupied.  I swear the dog only escalated the rambunctious behaviour and added to it.

I patted the golden fluffball's head, "Where's Daddy?" I asked my son.

He shrugged, "I dunno, Mama."

"Come on.  Let's go and find him so he can keep you and the other blondie entertained."

Grey laughs as I usher him and his puppy down the hallway and into the den, where I find Roan and Jordan watching some sport or the other on TV.

"Really?" I ask, Grey still holding onto my hand and giggling.  Roan smiles guiltily and is up on his feet at my side, nuzzling my neck.

"None of that!" I tell him off, but the smile on my lips betrays me.

"For now." He winks at me and then quickly bends down to speak with his mini-me, "Little man, we had a deal."

Grey just laughs and the puppy wriggles around in his arms, "It was Henley's fault." and puts his cheek against the supposed culprit's head.

"Hmm, either way, you guys got us caught out.  Now, you'll have to pay the ultimate price!"

"Oh no, Daddy!" Grey is already rearing to make a run for it. "Please!  No tickles!"

Roan wriggles his fingers and as he is about to lay it on our son, Grey drops Henley and they both make a mad dash across the den and onto the sofa with Jordan, "Jordy!  Help us!" He squeals, clambering all over his uncle.

Roan is upon on them instantly and tickling Grey, who is on top of Jordan's shoulders.  Henley, just as riled up, is growling at Roan and yapping along.

"Oh my God!" Jordan yells out.

"What?" Roan asks, still attempting to tickle Grey.

"Someone pee'd on me!" Jordan is up off the sofa, his grey sweats sporting a dark stain on his left thigh.

"Just admit you piss-"

"Language!" Jordan reminds Roan.  It's cute.

"My apologies. " Roan says it more to Grey and me, "Just admit you wet yourself."

Grey begins to laugh, "Did you have an accident Jordy?  Do you need a pull-up?"

I try to hide my laughter behind my hands, "No, I do not need a pull up.  Wasn't it you?"

"No!" Grey insists and then looks at Henley, who is now trying to maul the sofa, "Henley, was it you?"  He picks the little offender up and cuddles him, "Come on.  Mommy will clean it."

I roll my eyes, "Not this time.  Daddy can do it." I throw a smile in Roan's direction.  He doesn't even protest as he grabs a pack of the ever-present baby wipes and begins puddle clean-up.

I bend down to kiss his blond mop and he turns his head, his lips catching mine, "Anything for you."

We're seated around the large pink Beechwood table.  Mike and Jill have joined us, as well as my parents.  Grey is seated between my folks, regaling them with ramblings of his day.  My mom listens intently.  They love their time in Benton Harbor over the holidays.  We spent a long weekend with them for Thanksgiving and try to go to Illinois for their birthdays.  They of course, have made the trip for Grey's birth and his birthdays thereafter.  I smile thoughtfully at them, my heart full of joy.

Jill and Mike are talking in hushed tones next to one another and I try to hone in, wondering if all is OK.  In typical Mike and Jill fashion, they've finally gotten engaged, but can't decide on a date.  Jill has threatened him several times that she will not be having a quickie-wedding in Atlantic City or Vegas.  We know Mike is teasing her and he'll give her whatever she wants.  I do however need to remind him that my friend is special and he's lucky to have her, so he needs to be nice or I might have to give him a stern talking to.

Roan brings in the roasted lamb and sets it down in the center of the table.  His eyes find mine and he winks at me.  I can't help, but blush.

"Right, let's say grace and then get into this amazing lunch my wife has prepared for us."

"Uhm, before you do and yes, it looks amazing, Dillon." Mike quickly adds.  My heart is pounding.  I look to Jill.  Poker face.  What is going on?   "You all know that Jill and I can't decide on a date, venue or even dinner when we go out." She smiles nervously at Mike.  He reaches for her hand, "But you know we love one another.  I worship this woman and would give her a wedding in the damn Alaskan wilderness if she asked for it."

We all laugh, still a bit nervous.  "What's going on?" I ask, my curiosity now piqued. 

"We're having a baby!" Jill blurts out.

"Oh my God!" I shriek.  Jill and I are hugging immediately and Roan is backslapping Mike, "Man!  I hope you have a daughter so you can deal with Mike-types one day!" Roan's joke catches Jill's attention and she glares at my husband, "We don't speak of that Mike any longer!"

"OK!" Roan laughs, hands up in surrender. "That's amazing news though, guys." 

Everyone congratulates them and we go on to enjoy an extra dose of blessing added to our Christmas lunch.

I look around the table once more, a stupid grin plastered on my face and I silently offer up thanks for the life I have and the people I share it with.  Roan smiles at me, in between his conversation with my Dad and I think that life is going to be great, for all of us, especially when we have each other.