A song for him

Chapter 8

Roan's PoV:

“Its been almost two months.”

I look up at Mike from my book and make sure he sees I’m annoyed as f**k with his comment. He sits opposite me, clearly not getting the point.

“She left you. Move on.” 

“Man, I have.”

“Then why haven’t you been around here on co-ed night?”

“Mike. You’re the worst. Firstly, those are someone’s daughters and secondly, have you not asked Jill out yet?”

Mike waves me off, “Now you’re tripping.”

“I’m tired of watching you two eye-f**k each other and not do anything about it for almost a year now.”

I carry on reading.

“Bro, you need to get laid.”

“I was fine before she got to town and I’m fine now.” 

“Sure.”

He finally gets up to leave.  Thank God.  I study the write up I have hidden in my book closely.

‘Dillon Tate garners following on Jesse Lee tour’. The photo of her doesn’t do her justice. She’s skin and bone.  Her eyes are hollow and she isn’t smiling.  She smiled when she sang.  I remember that.

God, I f*****g miss her, but she was following her dream.  Then again, she just didn’t look happy.  I’ve followed the tour online and they’ve been on the West Coast for most of it.  She must love it out there.  I remember how she loved the lake here.  What the hell?  Why should I care?

Somehow, its as if I am enjoying the daily torture.  I wake up, make sure the guys are in at the brewery, of which Jordan is now an active part.  He’s happy.  Not using according to a drug test I’ve made him take.  Of course I made all the guys take it, not to seem like a total d**k.

Tara has been calling a lot.  f**k.  Why can’t she just calm down?  I’m not going to sleep with her, as hot as she is, she’s just as crazy.

I spend most of my time working on the campaign the agency has put forward for the beer.  Business is good.  It keeps me busy.

‘Yeah, but it isn’t blond, five-six and with legs for days.’ I think to myself.

“Hey!”  Oh God.  Its Jill this time.

“Hey.”

“Wanna join us for dinner?  We’re going to that steak place you like.”

“Uh, no.”  I say, still looking down into my book, which has lost its appeal.

“Come on!  It’ll be fun.  We could even do shots.”

“There are better ways to deal with your ex than drinking.”  I realise I am being an asshole with one of my best friends and someone who doesn’t deserve it, but she’s up and gone before I can apologise.

Shit!

I leave my money on the table and head home, to that empty house.  Yeah, Jordan is there, but its just so f*****g empty.

The days seem to just flow into one another.  It doesn’t make a difference to me whether its Monday or Friday.  God, what do I need to do to feel differently?

Mike is right, its been two months and I still wake up optimistic, then just slip into a mood, knowing she isn’t coming back.  What did I expect?  She ran to Benton when things didn’t work in Grand Rapids and ran to Grand Rapids from Illinois.  This girl wasn’t into working things out.  Also, talk about paranoid!

I check my phone consistently.  Why would she message me?   I do however, have messages from Tara.  Does she not quit?

Jordan comes over to the house for lunch and sits down opposite me at the kitchen table, “You’re not working today?”

That deserves a fist in the face if anything, “I own the company.”

“You should work.”

“Jordan.  Stop.”

“It’ll take your mind off her.”  He leaves the table with that bit of wisdom and then I realise how obvious it is that I’m miserable because of someone that was in my life for only just over a month.

I run my hands through my hair, which is now just way too long and tie it up into what Jill calls a manbun.  God, Jill.  I message both her and Mike and make dinner plans with them.

Jill sends me a response that lets me know she’s pissed: *Fine.*

Mike calls to ask if we should ditch Jill and make it a guys- only thing.  God, the man is insufferable.  I know he’s totally into Jill, but doesn’t want to quit the co-eds.

So, for the first time in almost two months, I mentally prepare myself for what promises to be lots of drinking.

“Oh my God.  You cleaned up!”  Jill muses when she sees me.  I run a hand over the shorter hair and offer her a weak ass smile.  I pull her towards me and give her a quick squeeze.

“And look who you brought along!”  she muses thoughtfully at Jordan.  God.  The kid is barely finished with his first year of college.

Jordan of course, laps it up.  He hugs Jill and shakes hands with Mike, “You guys don’t mind, right?”

Jill shoves Mike to the side, “Come sit down.”  I laugh, shaking my head.  Jordan goes positively red in the face.  I know he’s always had a crush on Jill, but nothing serious enough to warrant any action.

I notice Mike’s face and its like he’s swallowed something horrible.  Yep, should’ve moved sooner, buddy.

“Hey.  You making our delivery earlier this week?  I have a stag night that’s booked for Friday.  Need to be prepared.”

“Uh, yeah.  Jordan, wanna do deliveries this week?”

He looks surprised, “You’re taking me out of the brewery?”

“Let’s see how you do with this round, but you’re obviously going back to school this Fall.”

“Yeah.  Sure.  I’ll be back over Thanksgiving though.”  What?  This is a shocker, but I play it down.  It’ll be good to have him around more.

I have to thank Dillon for pushing me with Jordan.  God, there I go again.  f*****g Dillon Tate.  She was good at that too.

I feel the smile begin on my lips, but quickly compose myself, “So, are we drinking or what?  ‘Cause we caught a cab here and frankly, I need to make sure Benton knows I’m wild, free and single.”

Who the f**k am I kidding?  All I want, is to bury myself inside that completely paranoid, but insanely beautiful blonde that’s left me.

After dinner, we’re all so hammered, except Jordan, and  I manage to flirt with our waitress, who gives me nothing, but a side glance.  Jill and Jordan are way past flirting and its depressed Mike to the point of him telling me how shitty women are.

“You need to just forget ‘em, man.  Join a monastery.  Join that one in Germany, where they make beer!  You could fit in.”

“I could, yeah!  Ya think I could still date girls if I joined one?  Like, my beer’s so great, the monks would go, ‘Hey, Roan.  Feel free to bring a girl home once in a while.  You earned it, man!’”

“Yeah, you earned it, man.  You could get totally bag the babes in Germany.”

“I like ‘em local though, you know?”

Mike shakes his head, “You haven’t dated local.  Ever.  Lola was from Detroit.  Tara was from Baton Rouge and Dillon’s from somewhere in Illinois.”

Dillon.  f**k, Mike. “Ssh!”  I stick my hand on his face, “Just don’t talk about her.”

“Man.  She did a number on you.  I think you aimed too high this time.”

What the f**k, Mike?  “Are we friends, Mike?”

“Yeah, best bro’s for life.”

“Then get me that waitress’ number.”  I know she’s blonde and cute.  Not gorgeous like my girlfriend, but she’ll do.  Wait, I don’t have a girlfriend.

We all stumble out of the bar and go our separate ways.  Mike and Jill are having words outside of the cab they’re supposed to share and she whacks him with her purse.  I laugh hysterically and Jordan pats me on the back, “Come on bro, let’s go home.  I don’t want to be involved in that mess over there.”

Clearly he’s over his little flirtation with Jill and knows he doesn’t stand a chance against whatever it is going on between her and Mike.  I don’t envy the complicatedness of what they have, but it would be great to be going home to someone.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?  Damn Mike for listening to me.  I’m at The Livery, having a drink with the waitress from the steakhouse.  She’s cute, but she’s barely twenty-one and has the disposition of a mouse.  Its like playing twenty questions.

She giggles, a lot and frankly, I just can’t do it.  I call Jill over for the check and she slams it down on the table.  She’s been in a mood since I got here.  I’ll speak to her some other time, but first, I need to get rid of Miss Mouse.

Clearly annoyed that I’m ending things early, she grabs my hand, “I could come home with you.”

“Honey, the only home you’re going to, is your own.  I’ll get you an Uber.”

She grabs her purse from the table and storms off.  I just couldn’t care less.

“You did what?”  I ask Jill, clearly shocked.

“I slept with Mike.”

“Yeah, I heard you.  Why?”

“Because I like him, you idiot.”

We’re smoking around the corner of The Livery.  Jill doing it for stress reasons and me, as a coping mechanism.

“Yeah, anyone could see it, but he’s, A, your boss and B, your best friend.”

“No, you’re my best friend and he’s always been the guy I imagined would sweep me off my feet.”

“So, what’s the issue?”

“He’s avoiding me.”

“Yeah.  He screwed an employee.”

She smacks me against the head, “Roan!”

“Sorry.  Look, its awkward.  Did you like it?”  This conversation is all kinds of awkward.

“Roan!”

“Look, if you want to keep bumping uglies with Mike, then just tell him, but don’t act like, like, this!”  I motion at her frazzled, angry state.

She finishes up and plants a kiss on my cheek, “Thanks.  For nothing.”

“Jilly, come on!  Just be honest with him.  He might just surprise you.”

She nods, “Sure.  I’ll try.  You and I are quite similar Mr Sandusky.”

“How so?”

“Both pining for people who are complicated.”

“You sure you wanna do this?”  I ask Jordan.

He’s decided to head to Lansing early to spend some time with a couple of college friends at the lake.  I can’t deny, he’s changed over the summer.  He’s not using and he talks more.

“Yeah.  I think I need to get into things early.  Try and get a head start on the semester.”

“See you at Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, but I was kind of thinking we could meet up if you ever decide to come to Lansing?”

“Sure!  I’m there.  Tell me when.”

“Great!  I’ll see you around, man.”

He hugs me and smiles, “You know you’re still not over her, right?”

I shove him, “Man, get moving before I kick your ass!” and he laughs.

“See ya round, bro.” and just like that, he’s gone.

Now, I was completely alone in this f*****g house.