WORTHWHILE

Chapter 7

Before the freedom she hoped for back home, Ivy had lived in the city under Aunt Stella and her now family of four. At thirteen, sick and alone one morning, she felt the weight of that life pressing down on her. Genesis and Duke had gone to school, and Aunt Stella had left for work. She shivered under her blanket, wishing someone would check on her -maybe bring some medicine.

Her prayer seemed to be answered when Aunt Stella’s husband walked into the room.

“Ivy, are you okay?” he asked.

“I… I’m feeling very cold. Could I have something for this fever?” she muttered, teeth chattering.

He nodded. “Alright, let’s get you warm first.”

He started rubbing her arms and legs with heat balm, but soon Ivy froze. Something didn’t feel right. His hands lingered too long in places they shouldn’t have, places that made her uncomfortable.

“That's … that’s not right,” she whispered, making an effort to shrink away.

He paused and finally returned to massaging her hands and feet. Ivy’s chest tightened. She couldn’t shake the memory of earlier times, wondering if he had tried to take advantage of her back then, too. The thought made her stomach churn, but she pushed it aside and focused on the small comforts she could control- the warmth, the balm, the familiar hum of the city outside.

Now back in her hometown, shaking the memory she hated to think about. Bringing her mind back to the present, she remembered that just a few days ago, she’d heard a story from a neighbouring town, a gay man lured out of his house under false pretences and murdered because of who he was. Not normal, unnatural, immoral -people said, they weren't talking about the cold-blooded murder but about his sensuality. Ivy’s heart had pounded with fear. She didn’t want to risk being herself and ending up like that.

Still, she longed for connection. After some searching on social media, she found a support group for queer youth. She introduced herself, passed the verification steps, and finally felt safe. She was surprised to see a familiar name among the members, she confirmed her suspicion, it was... Jessica- the girl from the shop. Ivy’s heart lifted. Could the heavens finally be smiling at her?

She introduced herself and let her know that she had seen her once, and for the next two days, they chatted online. Jessica shared that she lived in the city and had only come home for a visit. Ivy debated telling Jessica how she felt. She didn’t want to stay silent, to regret not speaking up.

Finally, after some days of debating, she typed the message.

“I like you.”

The reply came slowly- at least to her

“I appreciate your feelings, but I don’t date younger girls. Also, as a student, your finances might make this difficult. I don't mean to be rude”

Ivy froze. Her first confession, her first rejection. The disappointment hit hard, but she swallowed it down. Jessica had a point, and this was part of learning and growing.

“Oh no, that’s not rude,” Ivy typed back. “That’s what you want. Your standards. We’re cool, right?”

“Yeah, we’re cool,” came the reply.

The conversation ended there. Ivy spent the rest of the day moody, but there was no one to talk to about it. She reminded herself it was okay -rejection was part of life.

She returned to the group chat. They shared stories, warned each other about dangers, and supported one another. Ivy felt alive in a way she hadn’t for a long time. The group became her therapy, a place where her dull life felt a little brighter.

But even that wasn’t permanent. One day, she was ousted from the group- a harsh reminder that safety and trust were never guaranteed, and the world could be unpredictable, even online.