Forever Lies

14

What I found changed everything. If she was truly more wolf than lamb, it was even more reason for me to keep our interactions purely platonic. I didn’t need that kind of complication in my life. And yet, what I wanted to do and what I should do were two totally different things. Whether she was innocent or not, it would be best to keep a tight rein on my raging libido, but it was clear that wasn’t happening. The taste of her lips on mine wasn’t going to satisfy the beast within me. He wanted every piece of her—not just a kiss and a few tidbits of information. He wanted to crawl beneath her skin and see inside her soul. The insistent craving was distracting. Regardless of what was right, what I should do, or what I wanted, I was there for a purpose, and that purpose was not my d**k. I was looking for someone, and now I knew Alessia could likely give me the answers I needed. That was far more important than anything else. I needed to get my information and walk away—that would be best for both of us. But that seductive voice in the back of my mind whispered sweet words of temptation—wasn’t I allowed to have a little fun on the job? It was only s*x, nothing more. I desperately wanted to sink myself inside her, and if it helped me get the information I needed, more’s the better. Right? Once I’d felt the creamy skin of her inner thighs wrapped around my waist, the pulsing need to have her would subside. Hypocrisy is a tricky thing. It parades itself around like rationale and reason, deceiving you into believing your thoughts are sound and just when they are anything but. I had demanded honesty from Alessia but was attempting to pull the wool over my own eyes. I could tell myself all day long one taste of her would be enough, but I knew deep down inside, I had no intention of letting her go. Consequences be damned—she was mine. OceanofPDF.com 7 Alessia My meeting with Roger went better than I had anticipated. At the last minute, I pulled in one of our contract managers to join us in the discussion, seating him between us, despite the disgruntled glares from Roger. The report I’d scrambled to prepare had been enough to satisfy my boss, and our third wheel had ensured the meeting didn’t last any longer than necessary. My thoughts drifted throughout the morning to my dinner with Luca. It had been one of the best dates I recalled ever having. Our conversation had flowed naturally, setting me at ease in what otherwise would have been an unnerving situation. He was respectful of the staff, polite but firm. I found that I loved watching him in action—the way he spoke to people and how he carried himself. I’d been on a date with a man once who could hardly summon the courage to ask for a refill—there had never been any hope for him. If he couldn’t ask a waiter for water, how could he possibly earn my respect? Being physically appealing was only a portion of the attraction equation. Financial responsibility, shared interests, respect, and numerous other elements were all just as important. For me, one of the most important qualities in a man was confidence—meek and simpering was a total turnoff. The control Luca exercised in every situation was a testament to his unerring confidence. He was sure of himself and comfortable with who he was. He didn’t suffer from the burden of societal pressures like most people. Luca was unapologetically himself, and that was just as alluring as any Hollywood smile or perfectly chiseled abs. I also appreciated that he told me about his family. Men were often guarded about their families, and him sharing about his mother’s death and his struggles with his sister helped me see a more human side to the otherwise stoic man. I had desperately wanted to ask questions but felt it might be too forward on the first date. Thinking about him losing his mom brought me to thoughts of my own family. Aside from Giada, the person I was closest to was probably Sofia. Neither of us had ever connected well with Maria, who was the oldest of us girls. Aside from a few words with her at our family dinners, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Maria. Sofia, on the other hand, had been my playmate as a child and was somewhat of a confidant through our teen years. Since then, we had maintained a decent relationship with periodic phone calls and the occasional lunch date but nothing so constant as my friendship with Giada. I realized I hadn’t spoken to Sofia in what felt like ages. She had been preparing for finals during our last family dinner and managed the impossible feat of bowing out of the obligation. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d been allowed to miss a Sunday dinner. Since I hadn’t seen her in two weeks, I grabbed my phone, noting no new missed messages or calls, and dialed my sister’s number. “Hey, Lessi. What’s up?” came Sofia’s angelic voice. When she was little, she couldn’t say my name, instead using the moniker ‘Lessi.’ The nickname stuck for many years, although no one else in the family still used the endearment. Sofia was the golden child—literally and figuratively. Her hair was a dirty blond highlighted with natural golden streaks, and she had the fairest complexion of all of us. From the time she was little, she’d been a talented artist and was fiercely independent. She never seemed to feel the need to strive for acceptance by our parents or anyone else. She was just about perfect in every way—even her voice sounded like it came from heaven above. At different stages in our lives, I’d been jealous of my little sister, but no longer found myself ensnared in that pitfall. With age had come the maturity to understand that nobody’s life was perfect, even if it appeared that way. I kept my issues to myself, and she no doubt did the same. Who was I to say her problems were any less than mine? “Hey, Sof! Nothing’s up, just wanted to see how you were doing.” “Ugh, I’ve still got one more final to go,” she groaned. “You excited to be done?” “Yes and no—when I’m done with school, I have to move back home for a few weeks until my new apartment is ready.” “Can’t say I envy you.” “Yeah, and if that isn’t bad enough, I have to suffer through my graduation party. I keep telling Mom I don’t need a party.”