Forever Lies

19

9 Alessia My driver, Leo, was supposed to pick me up at five to take me out to my parent’s house for Sunday dinner. Until that time, I spent the day moping around the apartment. It was insane. I’d only just met Luca less than a week before, but I’d seen him each of the last five days, and a day without him felt like an eternity. I hardly knew the man, but it didn’t seem to matter. Luca had swept into my life with the force of a freight train. When the train passed through the station, the only thing left was dirt wafting in the air, making it hard for me to breathe. Everything about the situation was crazy. How could I be so caught up in a man I’d just met? The intensity of my feelings for him worried me, and I wondered if I needed to put distance between us to regain my bearings. The thought alone made my chest hurt. These intense emotions weren’t like me. I didn’t sit around and pine for men. Time spent with Luca was changing me as I expected it would. The process had begun, and the only question now was, how would it end? Would he leave me malformed and broken or fill in my missing pieces so that I was stronger and more complete than before? If I walked away now, I ensured I would survive my encounter with Luca Romano. It would still be difficult, even after only a week, but I could do it. Much more time with him, and I wasn’t sure I could drag myself away. However, ending our relationship before it had begun felt weak. My dad would say only a coward walks away in fear, and that’s what I would be doing—running in fear when there was no way to know I was in any real danger to begin with. Had there been some tangible reason to back up my fears, some legitimate concern that supported the fact that he would be bad for me, I might have had reason to push him away. As it stood, I had no viable complaints with Luca—my only issue was my fear that I was already in too deep with a man who could destroy me. I was no coward. Fear would not dictate my decisions. Allowing myself to fall for him would be risky, but it might be the best thing to ever happen to me. There was no way to know unless I allowed our relationship to play out. That didn’t mean I couldn’t keep my wits about me rather than let my hormones run the show. First and foremost on that front would be keeping myself from sitting around and pining for the man. Attempting to keep busy, I spent the day doing laundry and other household chores. I refrained from texting Luca, which I considered a success—I wasn’t trying to play games, but I didn’t want to be that clingy girl who couldn’t stand on her own two feet. I had lived many years without Luca and would easily survive a day without him now, or so I tried to tell myself. When five o’clock rolled around, I was relieved for the distraction. Our weekly family dinners were often a chore, but on a day when I didn’t want to think, I welcomed anything that might draw my attention, for however long, from the beguiling man who haunted my thoughts. My parents lived in my childhood home on Staten Island in a small waterfront community named Annadale. It was near the city, but we always stuck close to our neighborhood, so it was almost like growing up in the suburbs. The house was a two-story Mediterranean home with customary marble columns and glossy marble floors. It had been updated through the years but held much of its original old-world charm. The best part of the house was the expansive back patio looking out over the bay. The patio was outfitted with a wealth of wrought-iron furniture and was often used to host family gatherings. I had loved growing up in that house. There were darker moments, but most of my childhood memories were good. I was comfortable in my parents’ house, and each week when I crossed the threshold, a part of me always drifted back to my youth. It was hard not to regress when surrounded by the people and things of the past. I had to make a concentrated effort to pull forth the successful businesswoman I’d become and not allow my inner angsty teen to resurface. On this particular instance, when I entered my parents’ home, I found my Uncle Sal in the entry, preparing to leave. “Hey, Uncle Sal,” I greeted as I gave him a warm hug. “Alessia! My God, you look more beautiful every time I see you.” I chuckled an embarrassed laugh. “You aren’t sticking around for dinner?” “No, I was just heading out. We’ll have to have you girls over to our place soon so we can spend more than a couple minutes catching up.” “I’d love that. How’s Aunt Tina?” Uncle Sal had married a woman much younger than himself. Martina, Tina for short, was plenty nice, but I was pretty sure Sal married more for function than substance. He was still an attractive man for his age, and I could see how he’d snagged a woman twenty years his junior. I didn’t understand why, but I could see how. “Tina’s great. She’s buying me out of house and home,” he teased playfully. “Alright, I gotta get outta here. You enjoy your dinner, and I’ll see you soon.” “Sounds good, see ya.” I closed the door behind him and made my way toward the back of the house, which overlooked the patio and waterfront. Crossing paths with my dad just outside the dining room, I offered him a hug, and he wrapped his strong arms around me. “Hey, Dad.” “Alessia, I’m glad you made it.” As if I had a choice. “I have to make a quick call; I’ll be right back.” He strode down the hall, and I momentarily watched his retreating form. He may have had high expectations for us, but he wasn’t a bad man. I loved my father. I just wished he looked at me the way he looked at Maria. My older sister was already seated at the expansive dining table—she was never one to help in the kitchen. Mom and Sofia entered the room from the other door, placing dinner on the table. We all took our places—the three of us girls sitting in the same spots we’d had since we graduated from our highchairs. Dad joined us minutes later, and we began the ritual dance that was Sunday dinner. Mom asked what we had been up to that week, and we each volunteered some scrap of information to satisfy her curiosity. Dad mostly ate in silence, occasionally interjecting a question or brief comment. Once our portion of the show was over, Mom launched into her lengthy updates on her bridge group, charities, family gossip, and latest projects. “Enzo, I know you said no party discussions, but I just want everyone to know I was able to rearrange the seating charts to include Vica’s plus one,” Mom informed us as if this had been a great feat of engineering. “I need to know now, though, if any of you are going to end up bringing someone. Sofia, this is your party, sweetie—surely there’s someone you want to bring.”