Forever Lies

22

I hadn’t received a call from the security desk telling me I had a visitor. It was either Giada, popping over unannounced, or more likely, the older lady two doors down who frequently went in search of her missing newspaper. I jumped into motion but stilled when the pounding knock sounded again. That was no gentle wrap from old Mrs. Cohen. I tiptoed toward the door and tried to take a quick look through the peephole. There was no mistaking who stood outside my door. Clad in a navy suit and leaning against the opposite wall, Luca had come for me. I debated not answering. Whether he knew I was home or not, I could hide in my apartment. And how long would that last? Luca wasn’t the type to give up. I would have to face him at some point—better to get it over with now. I could do this.

I could remain strong, explain my position like a mature adult, and he would abide by my wishes. Right. “Alessia, I know you’re there. Open the door.” His forceful voice resonated through the thick wood and kicked my heartrate up to a frenzied pace. I turned the deadbolt and opened the door, attempting to look unfazed. “Luca … how did you know what apartment I was in?” How did you get past the security desk? How did you know I was home? He eased forward, forcing me to retreat into the apartment and allow him entry. “The mailboxes in the lobby are numbered with last names—not particularly safe.” His words were spoken calmly, almost in a resigned tone. He helped himself inside, peering around my home. Great. I had a potential psycho giving me security advice after breaking into my building. It was strange having him in my space, my sanctuary. I rarely invited people over—that was one of the awesome things about living in a big city —there were plenty of places to meet people outside of the home. His dark suit was a stark contrast to everything light and airy in my apartment. In a way, it was nice. The muted tones were that much softer next to his sharp outline. “You have a lovely apartment,” he finally said as he turned back to face me. “Thanks,” I replied awkwardly, unsure whether to ask him to have a seat or order him to leave. “It suits you.” Huh? “What do you mean?” “Everything in its place—you like order in your life, and it shows.” There was an odd vibe emanating from him, and I didn’t know what to make of it. “Luca, why are you here?” I asked softly, deciding to pass on the games. He leaned against the island counter and studied me, his eyes scrutinizing me until I was sure he could see straight into my soul. “How was the meeting?” he finally asked in a deadpan voice. “It was fine. What’s this all about?” If he was going to play games, I could play dumb with the best of them. “I want to know why you lied to me. I told you from the very beginning never to lie to me, did I not?” He didn’t seem angry. Rather, he was more like an iceberg, distant and brutally cold. His removed demeanor should have been a good thing, should have made it that much easier to explain things were over between us. However, that plan didn’t take into account how wounded I’d feel at his cold disposition. It was like standing before my father, all over again, explaining why I’d forgotten to turn off the bathtub water. I didn’t want to disappoint Luca. Every one of the practiced explanations I’d rehearsed in the bathtub evaporated. Instead, tears pooled in my eyes as I wrung my hands together. “You scare me, Luca. I don’t know you, and you’ve rammed your way into my life in such a short time. I’m developing feelings for you, even though I can sense you have secrets. For all I know, every word out of your mouth could be a lie. I’m so torn, and it terrifies me.” There. I’d laid myself bare. I hadn’t exactly ended it, but I also hadn’t been a coward and run. I had confronted him with my fears, and no matter the outcome, I would feel good about how I’d handled the situation. Luca closed the distance between us, trailing his knuckles down the side of my face. “I will never hurt you, Alessia. I know you’re scared, and you have every right to be, but I don’t want you to run from me. If you have a problem, you come to me, and we’ll work through it together.” I dropped my gaze to the buttons on his white dress shirt and chewed on my bottom lip. “What about the phone conversations?” I asked in a small voice. “Work calls that require your presence at night—talking about blood for blood—those things aren’t normal. How do I reconcile that if you aren’t lying to me?” Luca pulled me close and lifted me against him, wrapping my legs around his middle. He walked me to the kitchen counter and placed me down, keeping his body pressed firmly against mine. “I’m not a normal man, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to hurt you,” he whispered, eyes peering deeply into mine. “Sometimes, people like us are different. Surely, you’ve felt it. We aren’t like the other sheep out there, pissing away their lives at menial jobs. We’re different, the both of us.” I breathed in Luca’s warm breath, reveling in our nearness. “All I know is, I can see me losing myself in you, and I don’t even know you. I need this to slow down.” “Have I done anything to hurt you? Pushed you to do anything you didn’t want or given you any reason to fear me?” I slowly shook my head as a stab of guilt wracked my resolve. Luca had been nothing but gentlemanly toward me at each of our encounters—a roguish gentleman, but a gentleman, nonetheless. I’d taken a couple of onesided phone conversations and let my imagination run away from me. Although, I did note he hadn’t explained what I’d overheard. Luca’s gaze dropped to the framed photo beside me. It was a picture of my sisters and me with our parents on our last family vacation in the Bahamas, all sunburned and smiling—it was one of my all-time favorite shots of us. He picked up the frame to look more closely at the photo. “You’re different than I expected—none of this was supposed to happen.” He spoke almost under his breath as if the words weren’t meant for my ears. “What’s not supposed to happen?” Had he meant for us to be a one-anddone when he first asked me out? It wouldn’t have surprised me if he wasn’t used to relationships. Men like Luca weren’t picket fence type of guys. “I’m not supposed to want you,” he said as his eyes returned to mine. “Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what we want or need. Sometimes, life just is. I can feel in my gut you’re not good for me, but that doesn’t seem to change anything,” I admitted softly. He set down the frame and turned back to me. “You’re not the only one who knows this is wrong.”