Messy feelings

Thoughts and feelings

Katty's Pov

As I laid there I slowly came out of the trance when ever I thought about the night in the club or the night with Hyena guy I get really emotional. The things women go through all we wanna do is feel safe but when dealing with the opposite s*x that is a gamble.

So for yet another night I decided to sleep over at Tiger's place. He had been taking me home and ask me to sleep over the night before and now here I am again. He announced that he wouldn't be taking me home in the morning because he didn't have his car so I go with the flow. I started planning what I would do. I need to shower I need to comb my hair in the morning for work in the morning, I have no toothbrush but all that can be rectified. I told him I need to take a shower so I need something to change into and he gave me his tank top and his boxer shorts.

"Heeeyyy" I said holding them up " these don't fit.

How would you know" he said skeptically

"I know my body" I said

He smiled and left the room, I took the opportunity to search his draws until I found something suitable that would fit.

I went to the communal shower all along wondering if this was my night. I was anxious to say the least and adding alcohol to the mix was definitely not a great idea.

I finished showering and went back to the room, I pulled the towel down half way and put the top on and before I could remove the towel to put the bottom on there he was again no surprise there. I smiled and ignored him, while he turned around in the room as if look for something that wasn't there. I continued moisturizing my skin and he left the room again.

I felt so defeated, how can he bring me here like this every time. We had no discussion as to how we'd move forward, he didn't ask me to be his woman not even as much as show some interest in dating. Am I supposed to just sleep over a few times and that will make me his woman. I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to him cuddled up beside me from behind and I could feel his morning wood rising. I immediately turned around to him and said good morning. I could not handle going into something of which I had no clue.

He talked for a little bit most of what I didn't hear until he said he said something on the lines of I'm stuck in my own ways and I may or may not have a short temper.

"What" I perked up

"Yeah" he said, "I easily get annoyed and I don't like people wasting my time, I get very upset and tell them as it is.

"OK"

"What" he said very curiously

I clearly my throat and very cautiously said, " Like last night when you asked me for a kiss and I said no, and you responded with I'm massaging pains and can't even get a f*****g kiss."

He immediately jumped up, "No, I didn't say that."

I went, "oh so you were drunk".

That also got a resounding no.

Flash Back

After I had drifted off to sleep, I'd been woken up by a wicked pain in both my hips I was rubbing on them when he walk in.

I asked " are your pain killers where finished" He had given me pain killers the night before because of a headache.

He said "No why"

"My hips are killing me" I groaned.

He said he'd be right back went to his car and came back with some Advil pain and fever. I looked at it, sigh and took it, in my mind I knew they wouldn't help but they were better than nothing I took them and laid back down. He had brought me Jerk chicken from the party and I cleaned my plate leaving only a little I wanted to have in the morning, it was seasoned to perfection and juicy I enjoyed it immensely.

Shortly after he had laid down beside me, I'm guessing he had had enough of of the party going on outside. I was fussing and groaning under the sheets and started rubbing my hips. It wasn't anything special but he was trying and due to the fact that he was drinking I thought maybe he couldn't do much better, therefore I appreciated it. Then out of the blue he said. "Can I get a kiss". the first thing that came to my mind was "may I have a kiss" I chuckled at my own thoughts and was like here we go. I pretended as if I didn't hear him and he repeated it.

"No" I said simply.

"Why" he retorted

"You're drunk" I accused.

But I know he was fully cognizant of what was going on. But just to get him to back off I stood firm with my no. All the while in my head, fearful questions were bombarding my thoughts. What if he forced himself on me, what if he throws me out at this time of the night, what if he starts a fight. The thoughts were endless but all I could was groan in pain to stop from panicking.

Then he said it, "I'm here rubbing pain and can't even get a f*****g kiss." I bust out laughing and so did he. Honestly I was furious that he believed that he is entitled to my body in that way. He hadn't even been man enough to tell me his intentions with

me. I went quiet and in a few minutes I heard him start to snore.

Present

If you weren't drunk why did you behave that way. This man had the audacity to tell me he said nothing of the sort. He was smiling so I knew he knows what he did.

"I did no such thing. I don't swear in front of ladies like that." He said holding back a smile.

"Yes you did", I said through a half a laugh.

"You heard me wrong" he said seriously.

"Don't do that". I also said seriously, "I'm not crazy".

He went quiet and my mind went wild, he tried to gas light me.