JANE
I shivered as the doctor’s judgemental eyes raked over me. He hadn't said a word but my insides were churning and for some weird reason, I felt like I could already tell what he had in store for me, but still, I didn't want to believe it. It can't be. I only did it once, it couldn't have resorted to what I think it has.
“Your husband is not here with you?” After a while, he asked in a deep gruff voice.
I shivered unconsciously. Why would he suddenly ask about my husband? I'm just sick, what does it have to do with my marital status? Nevertheless, I hung my head low as I whispered, “I am not married.”
The room became dead silent, I could practically hear my heartbeat.
I looked up sharply when I heard a scoff leave the doctor’s lips. "Just as I expected."
He shook his head and slipped his hand into his coat, retrieving a paper and tossing it condescendingly at me, his eyes filled with disdain and disgust.
"Have a look...," he mumbled the rest of the words inside his throat but I'm certain I heard 'careless whore.' Me? w***e?
Tears stung my eyes but I blinked them back and raised my head slightly.
I couldn't let him see my tears.
He wasn't worth my tears.
I slowly took the paper and glanced over it.
My whole world came to a stop and I felt it crash down on me, the burden so heavy that I hunched my shoulders and let out a sob.
My utmost fear can't be coming to pass.
No, it can't be.
I placed a hand on my stomach and my heartbeat quadrupled as fear gripped me.
“That can’t be,” I whispered to myself, shaking my head. "I can't be pregnant."
“It’s glaring. Deny all you want but you are pregnant. It says so in the paper.” The doctor snapped.
I lifted my gaze to him just to see him staring at me with contempt in his eyes.
My fingers trembled as I tightened them on the paper. “I just…it wasn’t…” I trailed off, I had no idea what I was going to say.
He hissed, seemingly having expected nothing less, and stood up. "When you are done with the pity party, you can use the door, I have important patients to attend to." His gaze raked over me, from head to toe and he hissed again before walking out, slamming the door so hard that my heart almost jumped out of my chest.
I sat there in the office, my brain drawing up images of that night. It was beautiful and sweet then, but now it's so ugly and bitter.
What was I even thinking, sleeping with a man without protection? And to top it off, a stranger? One I didn't even see his face?
Tears stung my eyes and this time I let them flow freely. I already have so much on my plate. I already have so much wreaking havoc in my life and now I'm pregnant for a stranger. I felt a sense of intense horror overwhelm me as I slowly stood up and stumbled out of the doctor's office.
But I couldn't take a step further. The world was suddenly spinning in circles around me, it was like I was in a Ferris Wheel.
I grabbed the door handle to steady myself but my grip slipped and I dropped to the floor. I groaned but didn't have the strength to stand back up. Suddenly, darkness swam in my vision and my eyes closed against my wish, succumbing to its fury.
★
I slowly blinked open my eyes, not knowing how long I was out and glanced around my surroundings before looking down at myself. I was lying on a couch with a blanket covering me. The couch, the blanket, and the house seemed familiar. Am I...
Rachel walked in at this moment, confirming my thoughts. I was in her parent's house.
But how...
"The hospital informed me," as if knowing what I had in mind, she said, staring pathetically at me. "How do you feel now? Are you fine?"
Oh, Rachel. Without responding, I threw myself into her arms, holding her so tightly. I didn't know when I started sobbing.
At this moment, I allowed all my pain to flow through those tears. Where do I start from?
Where?
I heard her sigh heavily before she hugged me back and began rubbing my back affectionately, almost like a mum.
"Oh, Jane, you've been through a lot," she said solemnly. "But you know," she grabbed my face, looking into my teary eyes, "you don't have to eat yourself up because you're pregnant. Everyone makes mistakes. This is not the end of the world."
I felt the urge to chuckle. If this wasn't the end of the world, what was? I shook my head off her grip and disengaged from the hug. "Thank you for picking me up from the hospital. I'm forever indebted to you. I have to go now."
Though she was my friend and was only trying to comfort me, I doubt she really understood how I felt right now and just how much that advice wasn't working.
I think my pillow would understand me better. I just want to bury my face in between my pillow and cry my heart out.
Maybe by doing so, I would feel a little better.
Rachel looked at me with doubt, her expression sullen. "Are you sure about that? You know you can stay the night, right? I don't mind."
"I'll be fine on my own," I shook my head, declining her offer, and walked away.
"Isn't that the shameless w***e?" I had barely gone very far from Rachel's house when I heard someone throw a derogatory remark at me. I was used to such remarks but this struck a nerve. How did that come about?
"Look, it's the w***e. After getting rejected by the Alpha, she chose to sleep around, and as dumb as she could be, she used no protection. So pathetic." I was barely recovering from the first remark when someone else threw another and before I could even react, she spat at me.