That Kind of Cowboy

Chapter Three: Madison

Last night was once again, filled with nightmares of Ethan. I always get them. Always wondering if he will come looking for us. What if he already knows where we are?

I should not be looking over my shoulder, waiting to find Ethan standing there. There is a restraining order for him to stay away from us. That paper did not stand in his way the last time he found us. He walked right through it, thinking he was above the law.

What was I thinking? Thinking I could run and hide from him. He always finds us, always afraid that he might take the kids. Why did I not see the signs in the beginning?

“What time do you get off, tonight?” Mom asked, taking me from my thoughts. I got a call from Andrea this morning, telling me that I got the job. I go in at noon, to start my training.

“I work till midnight; I will come straight home. Keep the doors locked and keep a close eye on the children.” I have told mom some things, but she still does not know everything that happened. Some of it is too embarrassing for me. Usually, she tries to one up me. No matter what I tell her.

“I always do.” She told me.

“Be good for grandma.” I said as I gave hugs and kisses out. “I love y’all and I will see you in the morning.” I told them, heading for the door.

My nerves always get the best of me. Always thinking that I will mess something up. Thanks to my dad and Ethan I do not know how to act around people. Never trusting if it is true or not. Always putting a mask on, hiding my true self from the world. Putting on a smile when all I want to do is cry.

Thoughts running overtime, getting tangled up. Why can I not move past this? I need to break free from the hurt and pain. I want to break free from the past. I want to be myself, not the girl who is afraid of everyone. Good thing it does not take long to get to work. Less time for my mind to wander.

Grabbing my bag from the passenger seat, taking a deep breath. I said a little prayer for my first day of work. Praying to be strong and watch over the children, while I am not there.

As I stepped through the door, I put on the mask once again. Hoping to hide how afraid and sad I am. I walked up to the counter, seeing a beautiful woman, around my age. Her dark hair pulled a top her head in a perfect messy bun. Her brown eyes sparkled behind her big, framed glasses. I see we have the same tasted in glasses, Mine are like hers.

“Are you Bella?” I asked her, closing the distance.

“I am, are you Madison?” She replied with a smile.

“I am, it is nice to meet you.”

“It is good to meet you. I will be working with you on the morning shift. But for the next few days, I will be training you at night. We must see how you do first; I have faith that you will do fine.”

“I am sure I can handle it. How long have you worked here?” I asked.

“Since high school, my parents own the place. Do not treat me any different because my parents are the boss.” She answered with a serious tone.

“I will not treat you differently, I promise.” I reassured her with a true smile. I know what it is like to be treated differently because of your family.

“Good, let me show you around before we get busy.” Bella took me around the store, telling me about the job.

************

Having anxiety is not easy, mine is always on high alert. I am hoping that it calms down by tomorrow. I have always had anxiety, always feeling like someone is watching me. Judging my every move. I always wonder if someone likes me for who I am.

Waiting for someone to come along and put me down, it would not be the first time. From Ethan, my dad and the kids who bullied me in school, always having something negative to say. Always trying to be enough for someone, I never am though. Never good enough for anyone, but my kids. That should be enough, but there is still a hole in my heart, waiting to be filled.

A wish is all it will ever be. A sad, lonely wish, that will never come true. There is no one out there that would love a woman like me. I must face the fact that I will always be alone. I hope for my fairy tale to have a happy conclusion. So far it has been rainy days, hoping for the sun to break through.

“How is the training going?” a deep voice asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up to meet the eyes of Lucas. Butterflies returned to my stomach from the sound of his voice. What do these flutters mean?

“It is going well. Maddie is a fast learner.”

“It helps when you have done the job before.” I added.

“Good. By the way it is nice to meet you, Maddie.” Lucas told me as he strolled towards the tea station. Heat rose up on my face, my hands got clammy again. What is going on here?

“He is cute, isn’t he?” Bella asked, her words causing my head to snap in her direction.

“What?” I asked confused by her question. Lucas is right there; I am sure he heard every word.

“I had to see your reaction.” Bella laughed aloud.

“That is not nice.” I huffed crossing my arms, feeling like my true self the more I am around Bella.

“What’s not nice?” Lucas asked, placing his tea down in front of me.

“Nothing.” Bella and I replied in unison. He looked at both of us with a knowing smile playing on his lips.

“Okay then, keep your secrets. How much do I owe you?” Lucas asked, taking out his wallet.

“Lucas Ford, you know how much it is. You get the same thing every time you come in, which is every day.” Bella told him, placing her hands on her hips.

“You are right, Bella.” Lucas laughed aloud. His deep laugh caused the flutters again. “Here you go.” Lucas handed me two bills, I took them, and handed him the change. As our hands touched, I swear I could feel a spark. I jerked my hand back, trying to understand what I felt. I have never felt that before.

“I will be seeing you around, Maddie.” Lucas said, turning to the door. Did he feel it too, or is it one sided? “Bye, Bella.” He threw out over his shoulder, opening the door.

“What do you think?” Bella asked, when the door shut behind Lucas.

“What?” I asked, hoping that she would not talk about the cowboy. Who takes my breath away, without even trying.

“Lucas. Do you think he is cute?” she asked again.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I glanced everywhere but Bella’s face, feeling the heat rising again.

“I can tell that you do. His brothers are hot too. They all have that cowboy thing going for them.”

“How many brothers are there?” Moving from the topic of my thoughts on Lucas.

“There are six brothers. Not one girl in the family, all boys. Grayson is off limits. So, you have five to pick from.” She stated.

“Why is he off limits? I am not looking for anything, anyways.” I have a feeling as to why.

“He is my best friend, and I may have a crush on him. You cannot say anything.” she demanded. Ignoring my statement.

“Your secret is safe with me.” I assured her.

“Does anyone one else know?”

“Nope, you are the only one.”

“I will not tell a soul.”

“Now, back to Lucas.” Bella started again.

“Fine, I do have a little crush on him.”

“I feel there is a but in there.”

“I am a single mother of three. I have a restraining order for my ex-husband. Every place we have moved, he has found us. I cannot seem to get rid of him. I cannot put someone through that if it goes anywhere. I am tired of running.” I confessed to her. It feels good to lighten the weight.

“You are not running anymore. You are home now; I have your back. Believe it or not this whole town will have your back too. You will never have to run again. You do not have to do this alone anymore.”

“Thanks Bella. I really needed to hear that.” I told her, through teary eyes. Bella rushed to me, tackling me into a tight hug. It felt good to finally have a friend.

*************

I have not been this tired in a long time. It is only ten P.M., and my feet are killing me. So far, the night has gone well. I did not make a lot of mistakes, if you have done this before it comes easy.

There were a few long lines throughout the evening. The busier the better. It makes time move faster, leaving less time for my thoughts. Bella told me that around ten, it slows down. Mostly people make beer runs, especially on the weekends.

“Weren’t you just here?” Bella sarcastically asked, seeing Lucas come through the door.

“Well, I got volunteered to come to town.” Lucas replied, walking to the back of the store.

“No one wanted to come with you?” Bella teased.

“Grayson is with me. If you want to see him, he is out in the truck.” Lucas replied, making his way back to the front.

“Does he think he is too good to come in?” Bella questioned, her hands on hips.

“I told him you were here. If there is a problem, take it up with him.” Lucas laughed.

“You better go talk to him.” I told her, trying to hide my laughter. The look on Bella’s face is priceless. If she did not tell me that she likes Grayson, I would know by the face she is making.

“You just wait, Madison.” Bella huffed out, rounding the counter to face Grayson. I could not help the laughter from coming out.

“What is so funny?” Lucas asked, laughing a little.

“Bella, is she always like that?”

“Never a dull moment with her around. She is the life of the party.”

“I can see that.”

“How are you liking the job?” Lucas asked, taking his wallet out from behind him.

“I like it, it is like where I used to work.”

“Do you like Maud so far?” he asked, handing me enough money to cover the cost of the beer.

“I used to live here when I was a kid.” I replied, handing him the change.

“Really?” he asked, taking it from me.

“Yes, I lived here for about three years. I was in grade school, so that was years ago.”

“I bet it was not that long ago.”

Before I got a chance to reply, my phone rang in my pocket. It could be the kids; I hope everything is okay. Pulling my phone out to see who is calling.

“Do you need to take it?” Lucas asked.

“I am not sure who it is. It says unknown, best that I do not answer it.” I told him.

“A spam call, those are getting out of hand.” Lucas offered.

“Maybe.” I replied as a text popped up on my screen. I hope it is a spam call and not Ethan.

“Hey Maddie, this is Grayson. Since he has bad manners, I thought I would introduce you.” Bella sang out, skipping up to the counter.

“Just so you know, my momma raised me right. I have manners.” Grayson said from behind Bella.

“Prove it.” She challenged him.

“It is nice to meet you, Maddie. I hope you are holding up working with this one.” Grayson said with a serious tone.

“I am.” I laughed, as another text popped up on my phone. Opening the message to see who it was from. My blood ran cold as I read the words on the screen. I tried to keep my hands from shaking but they trembled anyway.

“Who is it?” Bella asked from beside me. I did not even notice she was there. “Was it from Ethan?”

“Yes.” I breathed out.

“Who is Ethan?” Lucas asked with a look on his face. Was that concern, jealousy? I cannot tell.

“My ex-husband.” I told him. To be honest I want to tell Lucas everything, but I do not want him to run from me.

“Y’all should head out. I need to talk to Maddie.” Bella said, turning their attention away from me.

“Will you be okay, Maddie?” Lucas asked, not moving from his spot. His eyes locked on mine. It feels like he can see through my mask.

“I will be.” I replied, keeping eye contact with him.

“If you need anything, have Bella get ahold of me. I will see you soon.” Lucas told me. Standing still, looking into my eyes. We stood that way, staring into each other's eyes.

“Let’s go.” Grayson said, pulling on Lucas’ arm. Breaking our moment, a moment I hope to have again.

“What did the text say?” Bella asked, taking my eyes off the cowboy walking away.

“That he will find me. No matter how many times I run, he will always find me.” I read off the message to her.

“You are not running. Not this time, you have people here that will help you.” Bella reassured me.

I do not want to run again. I like it here; I like the people in this small town. Why does he always have to find me? I want to move on and be happy. I will never get that if he keeps finding me.

A little part inside me says that this time will be different. I should not have to run anymore; I have people here who like me for me. Just maybe this time will be different.